Ask Me Help Desk - I Was Wondering What Would Be A Good Excuse.

Ughhhhhh. Golden I know exactly what you're going through. I was in such an awkward situation the other day. I went to the store. And the guy working the cash register was flirting with me. Well when I handed him my ID for the purchase. He looked at my picture on my ID card where I was OBVIOUSLY several shades darker. Then looked back at me. Then looked back at the card. Lol. He either probably thought I stole someone's ID OR... That I had bleached the hell out of my skin. Or maybe the picture was just in bad lighting? Lol. Either way. It was an awkward situation. And right now I'm just hoping it hurries up and gets cooler outside. My face, neck, and hands lighten dramatically faster than my arms and legs. So I usually avoid wearing shorts. But I do wear mini skirts often but with sheer black tights so no one can really see the color of my legs. But I feel so weird. My arms are noticeably darker than my face and neck and hands. :(

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Originally Posted by Golden_Girl

I feel I shouldn't have to make up excuses, and feel a bit bad when I do. But, people want to bash me for it and put me down because of it, looking at me as though I commited a murder and rolling their eyes. Yet, they put perm in their hair, so if they choose to openly attack me I'll just retaliate on their choices. So, now I rather say something that I am actually doing, but it doesn't really give me dramatic lightening, and so I leave some information out on what really gives me results.

I did mention to my mom and younger brother of the products that I was using, because they wanted to use some too. For people who want lighter complexion I'll go out of my way to assist, but other than that I keep silent and let them be confused. So, I helped purchase it for them (my mom & bro). But, people who want to judge and ridicule and attack me, I think to myself well it's none of their business because they are not telling me their business either.

They're jealous. The lighter ones are mad you're catching up to them and reaping the benefits and perks of having lighter skin. And the darker ones are mad you're surpassing them. Just keep it moving and never mind what they say!

Well said Brown Deceit, I agree. I was surprised when I had noticed the same, it was a lot for me to digest at once.

I know I find family are the worse though!

[QUOTE=Golden_Girl;1966184]Well said Brown Deceit, I agree. I was surprised when I had noticed the same, it was a lot for me to digest at once.[/QUOTE

Goldengirl, it's none of anyone's business you don't have to say anything at all. If a girlfriend or someone asks me what I am using then I tell them because I know that they aren't doing it maliciously. People are scandalous by nature, don't let them bother you though.;)

That's true, they'll just have to get over it.. lol

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Originally Posted by Golden_Girl

that's true, they'll just have to get over it..lol

LOL, that's right!:)

I agree. My aunt asked me during Thanksgiving but because of the reactions I would probably receive from others I wasn't even honest with her. I knew she wanted to know for her own personal reasons but I still said nothing. I told her I was using a dudu osan soap. I feel bad now just thinking that I wasn't honest with her. Yes I was using that soap but it wasn't for the lightening.

Yeah, I understand where your coming from So sexy. A few of my aunts and cousins were asking me what I was using so they can get some too. I just said that I was using black soap, papaya soap, and sunblock which I was also using along with other things. I wouldn't mind mentioning to them the other stuff as well, but I didn't want them gossiping later on either, which I knew they would do. And they would ask in front of other people and starring. I like people just to mind their business, as I'm not a nosy nor a gossiping-type person.

I wish that it was also seen in a light manner such as tanning. But, actually lets say if you happened to have been in the sun too long and now have a tan, people would be like "oh my, how did you get so dark! I remember when you were much lighter before, ypu need to stay out of the sun more"... lol :p

Omg that is so true. I had a few family members that asked in front of guest at Thanksgivinng dinner. My reply to them was that "I do live up north now" Crazy because I seem to tan much faster now than when I lived down South.

I'm going to jump in here and say why do you care what other people think about you and/or your color? Your color makes you individual, stand out from the crowd. Why be like everyone else?

The only one who should care about what color you are is you! Take your own preaching (on other threads) to your own heart.

Yes, I am Caucasian, rather I am WHiTE! When asked by my co-workers why I have a graveyard tan" I simply reply that I want healthy skin in my old age. I don't care to get skin cancer," etc.

You are who you are. I always wonder why women of color (beautiful women I may add) want to lose such beautiful complexion and try to blend into the mainstream.

Be happy and healthy in who you are and with who you are. You don't need excuses. You don't need to lighten. You need to learn self confidence. Self confidence does not come in a bottle of lightening cream or pills.

Here is an excerpt from a post that has been deleted that you "preached" to another member who shall remain nameless...

Quote:

Tell the truth, Jesus would. That which bothers us most about other people is the traits we dislike in ourselves, they say.

Take your own advice to heart.

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Originally Posted by J_9

Here is an excerpt from a post that has been deleted that you "preached" to another member who shall remain nameless....

Take your own advice to heart.

Oh J_9... lol!:rolleyes: I see you did not read very carefully.

The comment "Tell the truth, Jesus would. That which bothers us most about other people is the traits we dislike in ourselves, they say." was from a member (who shall remain nameless but I'm sure you know who I'm referring to) who chose to post here several times as she had made several ignorant judgemental comments without thinking twice about her foolish posts. This group is not the religious group, it is the skin lightening group. That comment was addressed to me when I asked this question on this thread, which was not a religious question it was a skin lightening-related question. She as well sent me harassing pm's quoting the same judgemental statements, as I had her reported and blocked... :(

Sorry, but I'm not judgemental, but will put those in their place who wish to judge first along with rude comments without taking a close look at their ownselves. Secondly, I do not "preach", but have no problem reminding them of their faults since they seem so freely to follow me around the board in order to judge me with their rubbish and I have not even spoken to them. I will definitely throw their own words in quotes so they can judge themselves FIRST because I think that type of person is sick-minded.

I noticed that you did not carefully read my posts... hmmm Because IF, and I mean a big IF you did, you would have noticed that I am not Christian, I am Muslim. So why would I mention Jesus (pbuh) with my own words (as I have much respect for him) if I am muslim?? :o No offense to the Christians in this group, but this is a Skin lightening group.

I will be gladly to answer that for you. It is because those were never my words, as they were the other member's who was posting up here and sending me pm and yet turn right around with worst issues than I have? I'm sorry, but some people will not put up with that and I am definitely one of those people that will. Because if someone chooses to sweep my porch without sweeping their own, I will definitely make it known to them and hande them their broom.

I have much respect for all of the Experts here at AMHD. But you must also do your job and clearly understand what you are stating and do thourough research before pointing fingers and trying to take sides, you must show a good example J_9 ;)

So, this is a Skin Lightening Group as I plan to keep it that way... but just to clarify your misconceptions and favoritism with the other "member" before carefully reading, please do not bring those issues in this thread. And if you are trully against judgemental people then you should ask the one who (simonea****) posted that statement along with several other statements that were deleted.

If you are unable to answer the question with your expertise and unable to stay on topic, then it's probably not a good idea on answering ;) .

So, I will answer for you: they were removed from this thread as well as their posts were removed due to harassment. And I also clearly mentioned to them to not pm me anymore and had to have them blocked because until they can fix her own issues, which were quite major as I have read many of them, then they she should worry about herself first. No reason for her to be hypocritical.

If you did carefully read my posts J_9 (in which you chose not to) then you would have easily noticed that I am very supportive and caring towards other people throughout several of the groups. But, for those who wish to have a nasty attitude and try and force me to believe what they believe, stalk and harrass me... then I have no problems reminding them of their own "problems" that they should fix first as I will be gladly to quote their own comments and questions so that they can step aside... I enjoyed answering your question and clarifying things for you.

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Originally Posted by so sexy

Omg that is so true. I had a few family members that asked in front of guest at Thanksgivinng dinner. My reply to them was that "I do live up north now" Crazy because I seem to tan much faster now than when I lived down South.

Well, it's starting to cool off some but I'm still seriously thinking of moving up north somewhere before the next hot summer.

Nicckicute, did they must have taken the Hollywood Secrets cream off the market now since it can nolonger be found in the search engines. What were the active ingredients?

Quote:

Originally Posted by imgorgeous

Golden if you wish to see my pics... lemme know.... it could give you an idea of my colour....

OFFLINE SOLICITATION REQUEST REMOVED

Imgorgeous you still did not send me any before and after photos, what's up with that :confused:? ...and what does "offline solicitation request removed" exactly mean?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Golden_Girl

Well, it's starting to cool off some but I'm still seriously thinking of moving up north somewhere before the next hot summer.

Nicckicute, did they must have taken the Hollywood Secrets cream off the market now since it can nolonger be found in the search engines. What were the active ingredients?

Imgorgeous you still did not send me any before and after photos, what's up with that :confused:? ...and what does "offline solicitation request removed" exactly mean?

He sent me pics he has a very nice tone

Thanks So sexy. I haven't heard from him in a few days, so I'm still waiting...

Hi guys,

Amazing what we all have to go through right.

Just like other people want to tan,

And be darker, some want to be lighter,

One would say, we are all different and unique,
And that's right,

We as humanbeings, are never satisified, with our look,

I feel bad for Michael Jackson, because,
I don't know if he bleached, necessarily, or if it was because of vitiligo.

But what I know, is that in several phonecalls,

His father, called him a big nose,
And Michael is very emotional and sensitive,

He would also call Michael, you are so black,
That I don't think, you belong to our family.

Either way what he did, was what he wanted too,

And when you guys, are concerned, what your family member our your small community of friends would say.

Then think about what MJ had to go through, just to get accepted,

And they gave him the name tag "wacko Jacko"

Anyway, I wish you all happy lightening,

To a response for the "Health Care Expert"
Person, who wanted to speak her mind.

I have one answer for you. "mind your own business"

I am tired of people being put down, just because they want to get lighter,

Why is it a tabu, to get lighter,

But good to get darker come on.

It should work both ways?

But I guess that's how the mainstream is.

My general assumption is that tanning is not permanent, and uses your natural ability (melanocytes) to darken. It's impossible to lighten your skin however without the use of some form of third party substance, most of which are very strong and dangerous.

Some examples? Mercury, etc. which were used back in the day. They still present a "bad reputation" to most people I assume, especially with the thought of being very toxic.

Yes Mobster, it was very sad on how Mj's dad treated him... so verbally and physically abusive. Some people don't know how that can affect a child up into their later years as well. I felt so bad for him as he was a very sensitive and emotional person and people should not have called him wacko jacko. But, many of us seem to treasure him more in death than in life. I mainly feel bad for his children now without their father. I had seen photos of Michael throughout the years of him having vitiligo, and it is also believed that he could have had lupus as well.

I agree Lil'Greg, chemicals such as mercury, steroids, etc are very dangerous when used to lighten skin. Maybe thisis one of the reasons of why society's negative perception with lightening the skin? But, for those to say "why do you want to lighten, I wish I was able to darken" should then be able to understand. Though they are opposite reasons, the purpose is to alter the physical appearance. Including why people dye their hair, plastic surgery, etc... but it seems as though lightening is seen more in a negative light as tanning is praised.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Golden_Girl

and what does "offline solicitation request removed" exactly mean?

Offline solicitation is when someone posts asking you to contact them via PM or email. This is prohibited at AMHD so that everyone can benefit from the answers. It is also prohibited because some answers may not be correct and may actually be harmful to your health. All questions and answers are to be posted to the public board for the safety of all members.