[PixieMama]

My husband committed a Class 'D' felony in December 2005. He stole scratch off tickets from the gas station he was working at. He was sentenced to probation with community service and restitution to pay to Speedway. He finished his community service early on and got that out of the way. He paid off the restitution. And he had a violation for having a positive urine test for marijuana. He was ordered drug treatment classes. The children and I had to relocate to Florida due to finanical problems and having family support down here. When I spoke with my husbands PO, she told me that as soon as the rest of probation was paid off and he finished his classes that he would be done (he's served his time) with probation and free to come here. I sent her a money order for the remaining balance due and he finished his classes and then was told by a judge that he had three more months of probation. Less then a week after that his probation officer violated him again for something false, saying that he changed residence without telling her and he never did. That was a lie from his mother. My husbands mother is delussional and is heavily medicated that she hardly remembers her name most of the time. When the PO called her house looking for my husband, my mother in law said he didn't live there - which was a lie. The next time my husband went to check in with his PO she had him arrested. When he went before the judge at the jail processing center the judge dismissed that and let him go. But he has a court date for the 19th of July to dismiss the complete violation (the other part of the violation was that he failed to report to probation after court on the 17th of May which is when he was ordered an additional 3 months on probation) which he didn't know he had to report to her because he had just seen her a week before court and had an appointment for two weeks later. That was non intentional and was a misunderstanding on his part. So we hired him a lawyer.

I have made it clear to all involved that it is important my husband be here with our family, because I am raising our four sons alone. Our youngest who is 7 months old has never even met his father. My oldest are 3 year old twins and we have a one and a half year old as well. His children need him and I need his help. Not to mention that aside from the violations he has met the terms of his probation and we were lied to by his PO.

What are the chances that when he goes before the judge on the 19th of July that the violations will be dropped? I am anxious to start rebuilding my family and put this nightmare behind us. My husband and I have been apart for over a year now and this is all over a crime he committed in December 2005. It is now June 2007 and this has been emotional and mental torture on us and on my children who ask about their daddy every day.

[Fr_Chuck]

No, you are apart because you MOVED, if you and him had found jobs, you could have stayed and been with him. You are blaming the crime, but it was not the crime that made the choice to move, that was your choice.

Next the lawyer is your best bet, since he was a few violations of probation, it is hard to say what the judge will or won't do.

Sorry to sound so mean, but you went to where you life would be easier, and made a choice, the crime was only effecting what was happening where you were at. You could have just as easier went back to him at any time also.

[excon]

I have made it clear to all involved that it is important my husband be here with our family, because I am raising our four sons alone. Our youngest who is 7 months old has never even met his father...... this has been emotional and mental torture on us and on my children who ask about their daddy every day.

Hello Pixie:

I hope it wasn't his PO that you made it clear to, because PO's don't like things to be made clear to them from convicts families. It tends to piss them off. If any telling is going on, they're going to be the ones doing it. So YOU might be responsible for some of his trouble.

I think you believe the priority should be on your family. I don't disagree with you. However, I must, in the strongest terms possible, tell you that the probation department DOESN'T AGREE WITH YOU. They think THEY have priority in your husband's life.

It doesn't matter what you or I think. They have the keys to the jail or your husband's future, so it's what THEY think that matters.

Given the above, it's good that you hired a lawyer. He should be able to handle the violation hearing AND get your husband released.

excon

[PixieMama]

No, you are apart because you MOVED, if you and him had found jobs, you could have stayed and been with him. You are blaming the crime, but it was not the crime that made the choice to move, that was your choice.

...

sorry to sound so mean, but you went to where you life would be easier, and made a choice, the crime was only effecting what was happening where you were at. You could have just as easier went back to him at any time also.

Actually, I fully blame my husband for being a dumbass for committing the crime and then for being dumb enough to smoke pot while on probation in the first place.

The reason why we moved was because after he stole and lost his job we could no longer afford our apartment. As far as why I couldn't get a job, my children are very young and we could not afford daycare. I even asked our medicaid case worker if the state had any assistence for daycare so I could get a job and was denied any help. I also had no friends or family that I could trust to watch my kids. My husband kept looking for new jobs but because of his new criminal record with a theft felony, he had a hard time finding one. He finally got a part time job at min.wage but it wasn't enough and we were facing eviction. My options at that point where to live on the streets, in a homeless shelter, move my family into my mother in laws basement which floods, or move to Florida where my family had a 3bdrm home for us to come to. As a mother who puts her children's needs first, I saw coming to Florida as the only option. The crime my husband committed effected EVERYTHING in our lives. It has effected my husband being able to find a decent job, and ultimtaley caused us to have to move. And no, I couldn't have gone back to Indiana at any time. It's not that easy when money is tight and you have four small children to tend to.

[PixieMama]

Hello Pixie:

I hope it wasn't his PO that you made it clear to, because PO’s don’t like things to be made clear to them from convicts families. It tends to piss them off. If any telling is going on, they’re gonna be the ones doing it. So YOU might be responsible for some of his trouble.

I think you believe the priority should be on your family. I don't disagree with you. However, I must, in the strongest terms possible, tell you that the probation department DOESN'T AGREE WITH YOU. They think THEY have priority in your husband’s life.

So, it doesn't matter what you or I think, they have the keys to the jail or your husband’s future, so it's what THEY think that matters.

Given the above, it's good that you hired a lawyer. He should be able to handle the violation hearing AND get your husband released.

excon

When I spoke to the PO at first she was very nice and I explained the situation. I was actually calling to ask if there was any way his probation could be transferred and what she told me was that wasn't nesicary because as soon as his classes were finished and everything was paid off (which there was only a small amount left to be paid off) that he was done and could be here. But that turned out to be a lie. She also told my husband that she was going to file papers to get the violation dismissed so he wouldn't have to go before the judge to dismiss it, and that was also a lie from her. I don't think it's right that law enforcement personel are able to lie to us like that. I was nothing but kind to her when I spoke with her and my husband has done everything that she asked of him and has been nothing but nice to her. And this whole thing should have been done and over with. But because this is my first (and hopefully LAST) experience with anything of this sort I'm not sure what all the rules are. My husbands public defenders told me that since he was violated that he was facing PRISON time and that scared the hell out of me. They said the only thing they would do for him is get the time cut in half but that no matter what he was going to prison. That is why I hired a lawyer. When we explained everything to our attorney he said that prison time is NOT likely and he can likely get this whole thing to disappear. So here's hoping!

I'm not exusing anything my husband has done. Granted, yes sometimes he's a dumbass. But he does not deserve prison time. Nothing he has ever done in his life has been THAT bad.

All we want is for this nightmare to be over and it just seems that it keeps getting dragged on.