[margarita_momma]

Well I took a lot of the advice I got on here and got rid of the boyfriend. That turned out to be a great decision all around because now I feel better about myself, I get to see my son more and things between me and my ex have calmed down a lot. My ex and I have been talking a lot and spend a lot of time together because of our two year old son. He still has a restraining order against me that states that I can not take my son anywhere alone so he has had to tag along on a lot of trips that me and my son make. Sigh... the only thing that is bothering me is it seems like he is trying to weasle his way back into my life and its really irritating me. He thinks since we are spending so much time around each other that we are going to get back together eventually. I have told him I don't want to get back together but I would like to stay civil and be friends with him if possible. I am just wondering if there is anything I can do that won't jeopordize the time I am getting to spend with my son but will make my ex-husband back off but not completely blow things out of proportion. We are nearing the end of our divorce and I don't want to have everything worked out with him and then him get mad at me and run out and change stuff because I don't want him back. Any advice would help at this point. :confused:

[NowWhat]

I think I would first get the restraining order lifted. Did your ex have it put in place?

I would try to just enjoy the time that you are getting to spend with your family. Use this time to build a friendship. You will be in each other's lives for a long time. I know that you could hinder the relationship by looking into things deeper - like with everything he does is a sign that he wants to get back together. And with that always on your mind and then trying to make sure he knows how you feel - you are wasting time worrying.

If a conversation comes up - be honest on how you feel. Let him know that you really want to build a friendship.

[vlee]

Why did he get a restraining order against you?

[margarita_momma]

He got the first restraining order put in place when we filed for divorce. He was afraid of me getting custody of my son so he made up stuff saying I was a prescription drug addict, that I didn't feed my son, and I never spent any time with him. The first restraining order couldn't hold up in court because it wasn't true and he knew it so he got another one put into play before that one was to go to court. The second one, which is the one that is in play now, questions the character of my friend I was living with when I first moved out. He made her out to be reckless party animals that didn't have any self control and didn't think a 2 year old should be around them. (The woman I was living with has a 3 year old daughter of her own and is a home body.) My friend would have had to go to court, take drug tests if one was asked for one, and had to defend the way she lives. I thought that was complete bull**** and I didn't want to put her through that so I had to move out of her house and into an apartment by myself. The restraining order will stay in order until I take him to court for it or our divorce is finalized. :mad:

[vlee]

Ok, well now is the time to go to court and have the restraining order lifted. Ask him to do it. If he refuses, take him to court. Be clear that you do not want to rekindle your relationship and the only reason you are currently spending time with him is to see your son. Then seek an attorney and get custody settled once and for all. The longer he is the primary care giver to your son, the harder it will be for you to resume that role.