[kepi]

About 6 weeks ago, I started going to a support group for LGBTQIQ youth, and there, I met this guy, Junior. Junior and I started talking outside of the group and we quickly became friends. But on my side, I kept liking him more and more and more, until I got as close to loving him as I would allow myself to get. He told me he liked me as more than friends and he intived me to his house. We were watching a movie (Brokeback Mountain) and we were just laying there, watching the movie, and everything was okay, until he decided to kiss me. One peck turned into full-on making out, and the next thing I knew, he was performing oral sex on me (protection was used). I allowed him to get only that far, as I had only known him for three weeks, and although I liked him a lot, I am not one to move SO quickly. But in doing so, he realized his feelings for me were mostly physical and he told me we could be nothing more than friends. It broke my heart, and I have been struggling to move on, something I have yet to achieve. Well, since I knew things with Junior were not going to not going to work out, I decided to pay attention to the other guy that had been talking to me about being more than friends. Well, he asked me out on a date, and we had a near-perfect night. Nice dinner at a french restaurant, followed by a stroll through the park. We then drove to his house, talking about Photography and literature. This took place a week after the Junior ordeal. Well, one thing led to another, and he ended up pleasuring me orally. After having done so, we just cuddled all night in each other's arms talking and it was great. I get home and there's a message on my phone from Junior, and he asks that I call him as soon as possible, he has some exciting news. I called him and he told me he was dating someone. He was dating the guy I had just spent the night with. I didn't tell Junior then. I decided to wait a little bit- gain some strength before opening Pandora's Box. Well, that afternoon, Junior went to a party and cheated on Steven (the guy I spent the night with that Junior was dating), and in an argument, Steven told Junior what had happened between us. They broke up but Junior still talks to me, and every time he needs to talk to someone, he knows he can call me and I'll listen. But the thing is, he is never there for me when I need him, and it breaks my heart that he doesn't get that I need some space. I have moved on for the most part, but when he hugs me, I get a strong dose of those feelings I have been working hard to eliminate. And now, Steven wants a committed relationship with me. I told him no, but he doesn't care and won't stop sending me stuff and calling and stuff, and I just need to know how I can:
a) Let Junior know that I need some time and space without hurting him.
b) How to get Steven to lay off without hurting him too much.

Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

[GlindaofOz]

As for Junior I would tell him that much - let him know that you value his friendship but this is a confusing situation and you need some time to yourself right now to sort through all of these things. As for Steven I would gently let him know that he hurt you and that you could not see a relationship with him after what he did.

good luck - relationships are such a touchy situation!

[Kitschxbang]

I would agree with Glinda, the best thing you can do is tell each how you feel gently, but at the same time, don't let them bulldoze you (don't be a pushover). Be strong when you tell them how you feel, this is a very confusing situation and perhaps the best thing for you is to spend time alone, sort out how you feel.

Good luck hun :)

[statictable]

About 6 weeks ago, I started going to a support group for LGBTQIQ youth, and there, I met this guy, Junior. Junior and I started talking outside of the group and we quickly became friends. But on my side, I kept liking him more and more and more, until I got as close to loving him as I would allow myself to get. He told me he liked me as more than friends and he intived me to his house. We were watching a movie (Brokeback Mountain) and we were just laying there, watching the movie, and everything was okay, until he decided to kiss me. One peck turned into full-on making out, and the next thing I knew, he was performing oral sex on me (protection was used). I allowed him to get only that far, as I had only known him for three weeks, and although I liked him a lot, I am not one to move SO quickly. But in doing so, he realized his feelings for me were mostly physical and he told me we could be nothing more than friends. It broke my heart, and I have been struggling to move on, something I have yet to achieve. Well, since I knew things with Junior were not going to not going to work out, I decided to pay attention to the other guy that had been talking to me about being more than friends. Well, he asked me out on a date, and we had a near-perfect night. Nice dinner at a french restaurant, followed by a stroll through the park. We then drove to his house, talking about Photography and literature. This took place a week after the Junior ordeal. Well, one thing led to another, and he ended up pleasuring me orally. After having done so, we just cuddled all night in each other's arms talking and it was great. I get home and there's a message on my phone from Junior, and he asks that I call him as soon as possible, he has some exciting news. I called him and he told me he was dating someone. He was dating the guy I had just spent the night with. I didn't tell Junior then. I decided to wait a little bit- gain some strenght before opening Pandora's Box. Well, that afternoon, Junior went to a party and cheated on Steven (the guy I spent the night with that Junior was dating), and in an arguement, Steven told Junior what had happened between us. They broke up but Junior still talks to me, and every time he needs to talk to someone, he knows he can call me and I'll listen. But the thing is, he is never there for me when I need him, and it breaks my heart that he doesn't get that I need some space. I have moved on for the most part, but when he hugs me, I get a strong dose of those feelings I have been working hard to eliminate. And now, Steven wants a committed relationship with me. I told him no, but he doesn't care and won't stop sending me stuff and calling and stuff, and I just need to know how I can:
a) Let Junior know that I need some time and space without hurting him.
b) How to get Steven to lay off without hurting him too much.

Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

It's your choice. You be the "flake" or let them.

[Donnica]

Honesly there are a lot more men out there for you. You don't have to worry so much. You are young live life to the fullest. Have good times because many bad will come. You just have to walk out of situations that may hurt