[tesianicole]

I love my mom and I have been so mean to her lately. She has a serious illness and is undergoing chemo and trying to work and she is tired a lot. I am a senior in high school and I also work so I feel I need time for my friends and she wants me to help around the house. It I s more complicated... my grandmother who I was very close to died three years ago on my birthday and I have not been the same... I don't show much emotion about too much. Last year I finally got together with someone I had loved a long time. We had a wonderful summer together and then he killed a little boy in a car accident and left for college shortly afterwards. He broke up with me last November and I guess my anger and distrust of everyone is affecting me... I have been to a counselor and ,my mom wants me to go back. She feels that my lack of emotion is a problem and I don't see it that way... help.

[Clough]

You do need some help. Don't try to face the things that you are feeling, alone. You have had some pretty big "heavies" laid on you in recent times. You need to be speaking with someone who is a professional on an ongoing basis. It will be okay. Your mom is correct in wanting you to go back to a counselor. In addition to trying to deal with her own, personal situation, she is also trying to be a mother. She also has a heavy burden to bear.

You have your things to deal with in terms of trying to do your best at school in addition to trying to deal with your mom's situation as well as the feelings that you have about the things that have happened in your life. Wow! You have a really full plate!

If you want to vent, you can vent on this site. We will be glad to help you as much as we can. But, there is nothing like the one-on-one helpful relationship that you can develop with a professional counselor face-to-face.

If I were you, I would cherish the times with your mother right now. The fact that she is on chemo treatments tells me that she is facing something that is life threatening.

Spend the time with your mom and get the help that you need for yourself.

Life is short. You will not have these opportunities again. Grab them while you can.

[bushg]

Hi I'm am sorry that you have had to go through these terrible events at such a young age. Don't feel so guilty, about the way that you feel. It sounds as though your mom understands. You are probably being mean to her, as a way to keep yourself distant, emotionally. Honey, you are only try to protect yourself in case something else tragic happens. She is right though you need to continue with theraphy, also if you are in a city that has group meetings that deals specifically with greiving, that may be helpful, some of them even have children groups. Just try to make it a point that at least once a day, early in the morning or late at night give your mom a hug and tell her you love her. I have a 17 year old son that does this and it really makes a difference to us crabby moms. Good luck