[doggod7756]

OK. So I liked this girl for a very long time and she kept going out with other guys. Finally a couple months ago I got a chance and she admitted she liked me. The problem was she had a boyfriend. She kind of cheated on him with me, but it wasn't completely serious at the time. We just kissed. She finally broke up with him for me and things were going great. The big problem was, she kept getting mad at me for no reason at all. Things like, I wanted to spend time with friends or I wanted to take a nap would set her off, because she thought I didn't want her anymore. Then, there was the whole thing that she was not totally over her last boyfriend and kept fighting with me because things weren't like they were exactly when she was with him. Also, one time I was really stupid and for some reason she asked me if I would marry her, and in the heat of the moment, I said yes. And there is no way I could marry someone who fights with me when I hang out with other people. The thing I need to know, is... is it worth her being mad at me all the time and staying with her even though I'm miserable a lot of the time because I can't stand to have her mad at me? Sounds self explanatory right? Well, another thing is, we're going to the same college soon and she told me when we almost broke up before that she didn't think she could be friends with me for a while because it would hurt too much. And I don't want to lose her as a friend because we'll be spending so much time together at college and we're carpooling up there. So, do I stay with her and be unhappy or break up with her and lose her as a friend? If your answer is the second one, does anyone have any ideas so that she won't hate me forever or maybe even make it so it looks like her idea? I sound like a complete jerk for wanting to lose her, but I don't want to hurt her and she's starting to bother me. Thanks for the help.

[citygirl07]

You need to break up with her. If she can't be friends with you after that, you both will just have to learn to live with it. Life is way to short to be unhappy in a relationship. If you got married, it'd likely be even worse.

[Emland]

She won't hate you forever. For a little while, maybe.

Most likely it will wear off when she meets someone new at college. No sense in staying with someone who makes you so unhappy. It won't get any better.

[steviebeezie]

She WILL get over it. I'll tell you this: no matter where this goes, you two are NOT ready to be married yet. If you stay together, here's some advice: make sure you give her lots of attention and make her think she's the greatest thing in the world. BUT--you need to be able to hang with your friends and she needs to accept that. Occasionally, you should make plans with your friends (and tell them you're going to break the plans) and then break the plans on the spur of the moment to spend a special night with her. Okay, it's a bit dishonest, but if it makes her realize that spending time with your friends isn't your way of blowing her off or cheating on her, well... why not? Make sure she understands that you care deeply for her but that she needs to give you at least part of your time to spend with your friends. On the other hand, you cannot blow her off all the time and hang out with your friends exclusively. It's a difficult balance, I know, but if she has trust issues, you need to reassure her without losing your autonomy. Good luck anyhow.

[pergammano]

There are "bells" going off all over, when I read this post. It seems to me that this relationship has nowhere to go. Serious thinking must be done here. It seems this relationship is based on all the wrong things; jealousy, dishonesty, bad commitments,etc.Some serious "down time" is needed, a step back to find out if you really want this relationship to go somewhere, and if so, set personal boundaries, respect and start by building a honest foundation.