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tiarae44 · May 22, 2007, 12:04 AM

:confused: I'm 18 and my boyfriend has recently told me that he doesn't like sex, I have a very high sex drive and he also says that it hurts his feelings when I use toys, but I don't know what he expects me to do, it's not something I can just will away, and he won't help me out any. And I've told him if he doesn't like having sex then it's his choice and even if I could force him into it I wouldn't but it hurts me that he doesn't want to do anything with me and he won't even give me a reason, is there anything I could try to make him like sex more? Or want to do it at all? Or what's wrong with him? He's a teenage boy and he doesn't have a problem with pre ejaculation or anything like that, I don't get it...

kepi · May 22, 2007, 12:13 AM

It could be stress, but it could be something else. You should talk about what's going on in his life- is he worried about something? Does he NOT like where your relationship is going?

tiarae44 · May 22, 2007, 12:19 AM

I have talked to him, he just doesn't like sex, he doesn't know why, he says to him love is more important than sex and he wants to marry me, but I can't go my whole life without sex, its not natural and I don't WANT to, I like sex, and I don't think it's fair that he wants me to basically give it up

Beachgrl · May 22, 2007, 12:34 AM

It might be that he's self-concious about sex and his performance and therefore doesn't want to do it. He might think that he's bad at it and I'm guessing the use of your toys aren't helping. By you using toys it might make him feel like he is not adequate enough for you or that he can't satisfy you so you have to bring in some help. I would say don't pressure him about sex, don't even mention it for awhile - let him come to you. Though it may take some time the tables will turn and you should see him become more sexual towards you. On the other hand maybe he just has homosexual tendencies and is struggling with them or likes really freaky things and is embarrassed, but either way good luck

squackmaster · May 22, 2007, 01:09 AM

I think you shouldn't waste any more time with this guy, you're young and you could find somebody you're more compatible with. You shouldn't have these type of problems at such a young age. This guy sounds like he's going to be a handful later on down the road.

kepi · May 22, 2007, 01:24 AM

Yeah, I would suggest you find someone who fulfills all your needs, not just those he chooses to.

smoothy · May 22, 2007, 09:40 AM

Save yourself. Find another young man, and let this one pretend to be a Monk and be celibate all by himself.

There are plenty of people out there, don't waste time on those who are not compatible in such an obvious and major way.

HatingToSleepInAColdBed · May 22, 2007, 09:57 AM

I would be curious to find out if he was sexually abused, or molested, as a child. This can often lead to a person "not like" sex or sexual activities.

smoothy · May 22, 2007, 10:30 AM

Originally Posted by HatingToSleepInAColdBed

I would be curious to find out if he was sexually abused, or molested, as a child. This can often lead to a person "not like" sex or sexual activities.

Its always possible... but its also a crutch used by many people these days to blame their own conscience actions on when they were never abused. (I.E. its NEVER my fault, its because of X... or X , something they never have to identify, prove or deal with), not meant to belittle those who actually did suffer this indignity, as I do know women who suffered some very bad stuff as kids. And would make some Clive Barker stuff look tame ( and that stuff is pure fiction)

In any case... look at it this way. He's unlikely to change. And its clear you are unhappy about this. Would it be harder to deal with it now or after you invest a few more years of your life in this going nowhere relationship?

Rockabilly1955mama · May 22, 2007, 10:59 AM

Originally Posted by HatingToSleepInAColdBed

I would be curious to find out if he was sexually abused, or molested, as a child. This can often lead to a person "not like" sex or sexual activities.

Yes, this will normally effect this type of behavior. He may be stressed at the moment at well.

tiarae44 · May 23, 2007, 02:49 AM

It's a hormone imbalance thing in his case I think. Thanks to everyone for their opinions, we're going to the doctor to get hormone supplements.

ordinaryguy · May 23, 2007, 04:53 AM

Or maybe he's gay and hasn't come to terms with it himself?

smoothy · May 23, 2007, 10:07 AM

Definitely see a doctor, and if they find nothing wrong, then a psychologist so you can find out what is the root of this problem.

tiarae44 · May 23, 2007, 08:01 PM

Yeah. He has a hormone imbalance and it's affecting his sex drive... I won't go into it because I think he'd be mortified if he ever found out but it's a normal thing with the thing he has... I feel a lot better now...