[alizeblu]

I don't believe ex's are meant to get back with.

There was a reason for the split, and people don't just click back.

You know there has been a lot of questions on here but I've never heard of being happy again with an ex.

Any incite?

[diya]

Personally if two individuals are mature enough to sort the problems and have communication in the first place after a breakup, then of course the chances of gettitng back and staying in the relationship make sense, or else... the problems will never be resolved and there is a saying" once you have a knot in a rope, though it can untied, but weakens the rope.." and I truly believe that let bygones be bygones... learn and move to avoid more disappointments in life. It never is what it was... the feelings that caused the breakup, will always remain in the subconscious mind and will hinder new possibilities of growth within a relationship, however those who manage to overcome these hardships, they r the ones supposed to be carrying torch for others... very few that I can see these days... Hmmmm!!

[Fr_Chuck]

While of course a lot of us here generalise that most ex's getting back together does not work, that is just it, normally they don't, that does not mean it does not happen sometimes, I know couples that got back together and stayed married 50 years.

But often there was a reason and those reasons don't change.
But only you know your relastionship and if both sides are willing to work hard to make something happen

[Jiser]

I personally think it depends on the situation. What maturity levels are like etc and what reasons caused the break up.

[alizeblu]

So basically, either or, just depends on the situation and the 2 individuals right?

[diya]

Right... usually it's the 2 individuals involved who need to resolve what they were looking for in a relationship previously and how would they want to go about it the second time. But I feel, no matter how much we try, it's never the same the second time. That's speaking from personal experience. Don't know about others... there is no harm in trying though...

[Geoffersonairplane]

Never been there second time and I don't intend to. Speaking about what happened with me and my ex. If she would have wanted to stay with me, she would have worked on the issues like any mature adult. Then she was young anyway so that was the issue, the age gap of her being 6 years younger and wanting to be single again. There was nothing I could have done even though I tried. I learnt that I need to find a woman who is more within my maturity level, so perhaps not too young. Women in their 20's generally need time to do some soul searching, self discovery and time to figure out what it is they want.

I don't see much of this happening in every day life, ex's getting back together after a serious breakup. It happens but only in a minority of cases and as previously said, it depends on the individual situation and the circumstances.

Everything happens for a reason.

What will be will be.

Life is too short to hang on for a maybe.

[talaniman]

My experience is that if two people want to work together to solve their problems, then they will. Even after a break if they are willing, they can resolve their problems and grow together from it. It takes a lot of communication though.

[Jiser]

I decided to communicate my feelings to my ex last night over IM and so did she. I felt allot better. Its best not to hold feelings back your ex probably knows you well so communicate if need be, that is what mature adults do! Don't play games. Its not what I wanted to here when I spoke to her but hey :P Gives me better closure. As they patience is a virtue my ex is not ready, she has not lived her life where Ive had those extra few years of experience which makes all the difference at the younger age i.e. 17-21

Similar situation me and Geoff were in but my ex wants to stay in contact.

[SAB123]

Actually when I took ex back 2nd and 3rd time we were happy in the beginning but never worked on the issues at heart and back to her breaking up with me again.

[Sdjosh]

My experience is that if two people want to work together to solve their problems, then they will. Even after a break if they are willing, they can resolve their problems and grow together from it. It takes a lot of communication though.

+1 on that. Breakups give you time to learn and grow as a person. I took the time to look at why my relationship didn't work. It is a kick in the face sometimes because you look back at so many times that you messed up. My friend said to me one time that most reasons for problems in relationships come down to 2 things... PRIDE or SHAME. To stubborn to admit you are wrong... to really listen and understand what they were trying to say. To ashamed to admit you were wrong.

Communication has to be the biggest deal breaker of them all. If you can't communicate what you feeling... what you are thinking... in a rational way then you are going to have problems. But one thing most people forget is that you must first listen before you can truly understand.

All of this comes with experience... and time I suppose.

[talaniman]

But one thing most people forget is that you must first listen before you can truly understand.

Hard to learn with out being able to listen.

[diya]

One thing I have to add here is that though communication is important, more important is the style or way to communicate... more often in not.. if communication not done in the right way, it leads to misunderstandings for sure. It is important to communicate what's in your head but should be done in a way that it gets into the other person's head without disturbing the existing relations... and this I've learnt over a period... and stillearning!! I 've always been the kinds to just blurt what's there in my heart, but lot of people don't get it, that is where the art of communication play an important role in relationships...

[mckenzie134]

Its hard to workon problems with your ex when there were not really any problems. What do you work on when you did not have many arguments or disagreements.
There were no times when we would fight we did not do much to argue about. Maybe this was a problem. In the end I just lost out cause she didn't know what love was and wondered if she felt it enough for me after 3 years.

I think back now and wonder why we did not argue, and there were no reasons there was just no issues to argue about...

Dam Im always searching hoping to find a reason to tell myself well we argued too much about that or this but its =just not there.

Two individuals can sought out there relationship but I believe it is easier if there is not cheating, lying or resentment towards each other. But then again I had none of that and I can't get my ex back, So I believe they rarely come back and normally they only come back through missing you or jealousy and that soon wears off and they are gone again... They do not just click back together that is beacause a reltionship is built from the groun up and its hard to build once you have already built and been demolished, it is easier to start with someone new or not easier but more happier because it is more mysterious and you don't know what to expect which brings excitement to the relationship.

That's why experts on her say iof you get back take it slow therefore you don't seem to keen which brings uncertainty which brins many things to the relationship hoping it will last your ex may wonder.

[Bicho]

I see no reason why any couple shouldn't as long as they can do better this time.

[N0help4u]

It does happen there were a couple of posts within the past week of couples getting back together. A lot has to do with why did they split. Generally I would say no but there are those made for TV type love stories that do end up back together.