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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #1

    May 14, 2007, 04:22 AM
    Grandparent Humor
    My young grandson called the other day to wish me
    Happy Birthday.
    He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62"
    He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you
    Start at 1?"

    ************************************************** *******************

    After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother
    Changed into old
    Slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her
    Hair. As she heard the
    Children getting more and more rambunctious, her
    Patience grew thin. At last
    She threw a towel around her head and stormed into
    Their room,
    Putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she
    Left the room, she
    Heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
    "Who was THAT?"

    ************************************************** *****************

    A grandfather was telling his little grandson what his
    Own childhood was
    Like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a
    Swing made from a tire;
    It hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode
    Our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
    The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last
    She said, "I sure
    Wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

    ************************************************** ***********

    My grandson was visiting one day when he asked,
    "Grandpa, do you know how
    You and God are alike?"
    I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how
    Are we alike?"
    "You're both old," he replied.

    ************************************************** ***********

    A little girl was diligently pounding away on her
    Grandfather's' word
    Processor. She told him she was writing a story.
    "What's it about?" he asked.
    "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

    ************************************************** ***********

    I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her
    Colors yet, so I decided
    To test her. I would point out something and ask what
    Color it was. She
    Would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was
    Fun for me, so I
    Continued.
    At last she headed for the door, saying sagely,
    "Grandma, I think you should
    Try to figure out some of these yourself!"

    ************************************************** ***********

    When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation
    Cabin, we kept the lights
    Off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky
    Insects.
    Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them
    Before I did, Billy
    Whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are
    Coming after us with
    Flashlights."

    ************************************************** ***********

    When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly
    Replied, "I'm not
    Sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised.
    "Mine says I'm four to
    Six."

    ************************************************** **********

    A second grader came home from school and said to her
    Grandmother, "Grandma,
    Guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
    The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried
    To keep her cool.
    "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make
    Babies?"
    "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y'
    To 'I and add "es'"

    ************************************************** ***********

    Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public
    Servant," said a
    Teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down
    The ladder pregnant."
    The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't
    You know what pregnant
    Means?" she asked.
    "Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means
    Carrying a child."

    ************************************************** ***********

    A nursery school teacher was delivering a station
    Wagon full of kids home
    One day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the
    Front seat of the fire
    Truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started
    Discussing the dog's duties.
    "They use him to keep crowds back," said one
    Youngster.
    "No", said another, "he's just for good luck"
    A third child brought the argument to a close. "They
    Use the dogs", she said
    Firmly, "to find the fire hydrant." :D
    Rockabilly1955mama's Avatar
    Rockabilly1955mama Posts: 662, Reputation: 85
    Senior Member
     
    #2

    May 14, 2007, 11:20 AM
    Haha, that made my day!
    :D
    Thanks for that talaniman!

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