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jshrckstar · May 13, 2007, 04:56 PM

My girlfriend, of over a year, broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. We have talked several times, mainly to make arrangements for her to get things from the apartment. We have only had one serious conversation about what had happened, and this came a few nights ago. I explained to her that I had realized what had happened, and I apologized for any wrong doing on my part. As of right now, she says that we should just be friends, as everything is still on her mind. She says that she needs some space, and I have given it to her. As I stated above, we have only spoken to make the arrangements to get her things. I have mainly played it off that all is cool, and have not begged her to come back to me. She says that she loves me as a person, but because of the situation, she is not IN love with me. She also states that she does not know if this will change in the future, but time will tell. My question is, what do I do about all of this? I know I have to continue my life, as if she is not there. I know I have to treat this as a break up, not simply a break. But, I do know that she could not lose her feelings for me that fast. So, this raised a question in my mind, as it does with most guys. Is she seeing someone? Well, I talked to mutual friends, and they say that she is not. As I have stated, I am following the No Contact rule, especially in regards to anything that has to do with our relationship. What is my best option at this point? Wait for her to call me? Call her? I mean, I don't want to seem needy, or anything. Your help is much appreciated!

s_cianci · May 13, 2007, 04:58 PM

I think you've pretty much answered your own questions. You know what you need to do and seem to be doing it which is good. Don't worry about her, what she's doing, whether she's seeing someone or whatever. That is not you problem. Get on with your life and don't worry about hers.

AW805 · May 13, 2007, 05:32 PM

What happened to cause the break in the relationship? If she has trust issues with you... you could be waiting a long time.

jshrckstar · May 13, 2007, 06:06 PM

Originally Posted by AW805

What happened to cause the break in the relationship? If she has trust issues with you ... you could be waiting a long time.

No, It wasn't anything that had to do with any trust issues. I never cheated on her or anything. Mainly, I was just drinking too much, I had stopped drinking about 2 weeks prior to her leaving, and have not touched anything since. She did not like it, and so I stopped. But, I guess she said that this made her mad for a while prior to me stopping. She said that she was unsure if she could count on me, and that the future for us was not looking good for us. So, she felt as though she was putting more into the relationship, and not enough into herself. While I understand this, at the time I was drinking, I just do not understand why it is still there even though I have stopped?

AW805 · May 13, 2007, 06:13 PM

So you have been sober for a month. Drinking can put a huge strain on a relationship. Continue your sobriety - and if your seeking counseling or in AA continue getting the help and support you need. If you haven't and your doing it on your own, I would suggest getting involved in a support group. She will need time and you'll need to show her that your responsible.

jshrckstar · May 13, 2007, 06:27 PM

Originally Posted by AW805

So you have been sober for a month. Drinking can put a huge strain on a relationship. Continue your sobriety - and if your seeking counseling or in AA continue getting the help and support you need. If you haven't and your doing it on your own, I would suggest getting involved in a support group. She will need time and you'll need to show her that your responsible.

Yeah, It wasn't really that bad. I just chose to do it. I didn't feel like I had to because I was addicted or anything. I appreciate the suggestions though! But, yes, I have not been drinking for 1 month. But, how am I supposed to show her if we are in this "time", "space" thing?

AW805 · May 13, 2007, 06:40 PM

You said in a prior post that she was mad because you were drinking and it caused the break. You've quit drinking. Obviously that wasn't enough. Take it a step further, figure out why "you chose" to drink by getting help. Let her know that you're taking steps to ensure a healthier you and for a healthier relationship.

talaniman · May 13, 2007, 07:41 PM

Whatever you do do it for you and give her space, that means to leave her alone and get your own life together.