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nyrfan94 · May 13, 2007, 02:51 PM

Im a 21 year old male and I have been sexual with women my whole life. However recently it seems all of a sudden I have confused feelings even though I would absolutely hate to be gay could that be possible of a sudden. Ive had major relationships in the past and feel I connect with women. I thought a guy was good looking one day and it freaked me out and I don't want to have these feelings, These different feeling have been going on for the past month. I also recently got over a girl who I thought was perfect so that was really hard haven't 100% gotten over that, don't know if that relates but What could this be?

kepi · May 13, 2007, 04:29 PM

Thinking is a guy good-looking does not make you gay. Everyone can think someone of the same sex is attractive and not necessarily want a relation. However, if you find yourself fantisizing about men and during sex with women you think about men, then I guess you should ask yourself if bisexuality is what you're feeling.

Xrayman · May 14, 2007, 11:15 PM

You seem to describe normal sexual behaviour. I'd suggest that it's highly unlikely you are gay.

Men and women can be sexually desirable to men, just as for women. Perhaps emotionally you are in an unusual place for the moment-due to the break-up between you and your girlfriend.

You seem quite normal human sexuality is not black and white there are different grades grey areas if you prefer the term.

Cheers

smoothy · May 15, 2007, 08:19 AM

Also at your young age you still are maturing and coming to terms with life in general.

Unless you really have an overwhelming urge to bang guys (trying to keep it clean and not explicit) exclusively or are suddenly no longer attracted to women you aren't gay, Gay guys feel the same about other men that we feel towards women. Now as to being bi? I can't answer that, I think its most likely the first issue I mentioned. Unless you have a strong urge to bang both men and women equally ( as well as the intimate attraction thing like with women) you aren't that either.

kepi · May 15, 2007, 09:05 AM

The thing is, smoothy, that bisexuality is not just about the physical atttraction- it's about the desire to be EMOTIONALLY involved with either gender.

smoothy · May 15, 2007, 09:13 AM

Originally Posted by kepi

The thing is, smoothy, that bisexuality is not just about the physical atttraction- it's about the desire to be EMOTIONALLY involved with either gender.

I addressed that in the last sentence as well, I just used different words.

kepi · May 15, 2007, 10:46 AM

Yeah, but in my opinion, it was rather... ambiguous. Anyway... let us know what happens, nyrfan94:D

smoothy · May 15, 2007, 12:45 PM

Originally Posted by kepi

Yeah, but in my opinion, it was rather....ambiguous. ANYWAYS....let us know what happens, nyrfan94:D

True... I can be that way sometimes. But not by intent. :D

oh octopi · May 16, 2007, 01:46 PM

I highly doubt you a gay, but as you aren't with your girlfriend anymore, and you have options, your eyes might be opening to the fact that you maybe DO like guys a little, but that doesn't nessercairily mean you're bi either. Most people have a phase where they want to know what it's like to be with the same-sex, and everyone at some point thinks someone is hot. So don't fret. You're all right [:

Regno · May 17, 2007, 10:04 AM

As has been said. Sexuality isn't just black and white. There's also a lot of grey in the middle.
Follow your heart and your desire. Do only what you believe is right.
See where this leads you.
Life is short, live it respecting yourself and others, don't waste too must time on thought and analysis!

Capuchin · May 17, 2007, 10:07 AM

Let me explain thusly:

I am male.
I am totally straight.
However. David Tennant is hot.

nyrfan94 · May 21, 2007, 11:13 AM

Thanks for all the input, its like I have thoughts of males a lot of the time but don't want to engage sexually but still think about it several times a day, I have always been attracted to females There are days when I tell myself Am I gay? And days when I say I can't be.

smoothy · May 21, 2007, 01:13 PM

Probably just horny... if those feelings go away after you get off... odds are you are straight.

nyrfan94 · May 21, 2007, 07:31 PM

Odd thing is I generally think about it at random parts of the day not when I get off. Just very confusing because confused thoughts and feelings all started from when I thought one guy was cute and I never ever had any thought what so ever of myself being gay. I'm still not sure if I'm gay or bi or its just thoughts. All of a sudden about a month ago I thought this one guy was good looking and all these thoughts and feelings entered my head and I have thoughts I don't want to have almost every day, I don't want to be gay I could never live that lifestyle and feel OK with it.

Xrayman · May 21, 2007, 08:18 PM

Why not just keep it to yourself as your little secret? So you get off thinking about guys? No big deal. It's just fun-it doesn't mean you are going to start having sex with them. There are many arousing things/thoughts that people have-it does not mean they are going to do them does it?

Is it just one guy or is it constant about all guys?-if not and women turn you on still-where's the problem for you?

nyrfan94 · May 21, 2007, 08:23 PM

Its constant but its just a quick sexual thought then I catch myself thinking and try to stop and do, its just on my mind most of the day so I feel like it's a problem and since its on my mind so much I'm not sure if I'm attracted to women as strongly as I used to be. The last time I had sex was last summer could it be sexual frustration?

Xrayman · May 21, 2007, 08:30 PM

What do you do when you masturbate? Think of sex with guys? Or girls? What type of sex? Anal, vaginal?

If you think you have sexual frustration, do you masturbate? Usually that helps?

nyrfan94 · May 21, 2007, 08:32 PM

Mostly women while watching porn and both anal and vaginal.

Xrayman · May 21, 2007, 08:36 PM

Forget worrying-like I said before, fantasise and keep it that way. You sound closer to Hetro than gay.

Cheers

smoothy · May 22, 2007, 04:58 AM

Originally Posted by nyrfan94

Odd thing is i generally think about it at random parts of the day not when i get off. Just very confusing because confused thoughts and feelings all started from when i thought one guy was cute and I never ever had any thought what so ever of myself being gay. I'm still not sure if im gay or bi or its just thoughts. All of a sudden about a month ago I thought this one guy was good looking and all these thoughts and feelings entered my head and I have thoughts i dont want to have almost every day, I don't want to be gay I could never live that lifestyle and feel ok with it.

what I meant was do those feelings go away for a while after busting a nut? Or do you still have them shortly afterwards. That might separate horny thoughts from bi or gay thoughts...