[cuweind]

Hi everybody

I met this girl at grad school and we were together for 2years and she was everything to me back then and I never was able to get over her totally. We were a few months away to getting married when she wanted to break up. Back in days, we really liked each and drove 100miles one way just to see each other every single day. There were a few problems in the relationship. She told me that I was not listening to her and that we used to argue every now and then. I yelled at her a few times in those arguments. She left me and then came back to me 3 or 4 times but the 5th time she left me, it was forever. Moreover initially when we broke I returned all her gifts, letters and cards listening to some friends who said that returning those things might make her think. I was angry initially at her just seeing how she was scolding me and hurting me when I tried to contact her talking things she should not have. A few hurtful words slipped from my mouth too. Slowly in time after thinking what went wrong, I realized that it was me and went to talk to her at her house and class a few times but everything was in vein.
After the most depressing and hard times, I was able to learn from mistakes. After the most painful time in my life, since last year things caught up to the brighter side once I became mature and saw things the way I should have long time ago. I made progress. I graduated with my Master's, worked on my issues, found a job, earn well these days and also hang out with friends and colleagues all the time. My friends and colleagues like me and I feel happy these days but inside me, I always think about the past. My heart never allowed me to date any other girl. I became content and happy with god gave me in the after math. In the time after she left me, she dated 2guys who were s and broke her heart really bad by cheating on her. I felt bad and knowing that always sent encouraging emails to her telling her how wonderful a person she was and that she deserves to be happy and whatever happened has happened for her own good. I saw her recently accidentally at a restaurant and it all came back to me and I started thinking about her all the time and Miss her. I started writing to her again asking her to only talk to me and be at least my friend. She never replied. I wrote an email saying that I will wait for her call and then gave up writing to her again last week. Despite knowing the odds, I like her still and wish that she would come back. Friends, I know many of you might have been in a situation like this. I would like all your suggestions/advices on this matter. I always pray that no other person would fall into a situation like me.

Thank you
PK

[Bluerose]

Sorry to say this but it sounds like too much too late. You need to relax, do some dating, chill out! And then if you really like her try an actual invite to dinner, whatever. She might just need some time to come around, time to forgive you. You made a fool of her, that doesn't just get forgotten. Just be there, arrange to bump into her, be nice, be relaxed, don't push. Trust is an awful hard thing to get back. And love is no good without it.

[AW805]

I'm sorry but I found this all to be very disturbing. Not only do you need to back off but you really need to get some serious counseling. With all that you've done, I'm surprised she hasn't obtained a restraining order against you.

[chuff]

You sound like your actions have chased her off. It would have been one thing to send an encouraging email but you kept pushing it and I'm sure that scared her away as opposed to make her think about getting back with you.

[talaniman]

Get over this grief, you've carried it for far to long, and its time to let go and find happiness without her. Your absolutely right when you say we have all been there and done that, so I suggest you leave her alone, and get you a life. You have a lot going for you, so stop wasting time mopping about past mistakes and failures.