[cal823]

I used to be depressed, I was depressed for about a year, until in church while worshipping, I smiled again... and suddenly my happiness was returned to me.
But now, its feels like it was all for nothing, its enclosing in on me again, the feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness and self loathing are coming back, and I cannot tell my parents, because last time a "friend" thought it was in my best interest to betray me to my parents, and their interference prolonged my depression for months, because my parents are of very limited understanding in these matters, they fail to understand anything I say, and they are very arrogant. I don't know how to fight this... the bad feelings are coming back seemingly out of nowhere for no reason... I think I'm suffering from major depression, or possibly some form of reactive... even this amazing song we sing in church called "everlasting" doesn't make me smile anymore... I think I'm going to stop going to church altogether, partly because this chick I really adore goes there, and I just can't take the awkward lack of conversation and the suffering friendship between me and her, and it just makes me feel much, much worse... I think I'm at risk of self harming again, and I haven't been sleeping... all this, on top of me struggling with TEE subjects in school, and exams approaching... I don't think I can survive, anyone have any advice to help me through this? Any way for me to handle all this? Anything?

[Bluerose]

Anyone can give you advice on coping with depression. The important thing is will you take it and use it?

I suffered from terrible depression. It can still rear it’s ugly head from time to time. I got so sick of it, I stamped my foot and screamed, “Enough is enough!”

Some people actually enjoy being depressed, you know, the dark clothes, the makeup and the sad music. If you are one of them then no one can help you until you get bloody well fed up with it all. Then you are ready to let someone help you.

I’m going to add something that helped me. All I ask is that you read it. And be honest with yourself. Ask yourself, “Am I sick and tired of being sad all the time?”


The Awakening

A time comes in your life when you finally get it - when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

THIS IS YOUR AWAKENING.

You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change... or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.

You come to terms with the fact that neither of you is Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter), and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you. In the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's okay. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself. In the process, a sense of new found self confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you), and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, and not everyone will always be there for you and it's not always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself. In the process, a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and overlook their shortcomings and human frailties. In the process, a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all of the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should have never bought into to begin with. In the process, you learn to go with and trust your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. There is power and glory in creating and contributing, and you stop manoeuvring through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and you can't teach a pig to sing.

You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be; to stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes; and that 'alone' does not mean lonely.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly okay, and it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want... and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less.

You learn that your body really is your temple, and you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty. So, you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn, for the most part in life, you get what you believe you deserve, and much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance.

You also learn that no one can do it all alone... and it's okay to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is, the greatest robber baron of all, FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because, you know that whatever happens, you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful, to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people on the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally take a deep breath and begin to create the life you want for yourself.

[Illusion]

I would suggest that you start by being aware of what you are thinking. Our thoughts create our feelings. Are you aware of how events in your life have affected you? Has something happened which hurt your feelings? Made you angry? Recognize what happened and how you felt. You may be dealing with feelings that are connected to something that happened in the past. Know that few things cannot be changed. Make a choice to be affirmative in your life - rather than negative. Know that the universe holds nothing against us ever and you are supported in everything you do. I would suggest that you purchase a small book called "This thing called you" by Ernest Holmes. You can buy it on amazon.com or look for it at a bookstore. It will show you how to begin to think of yourself in a more positive and loving way.

Our parents did the best they could and they did not always know the answer as to how life works. If our parents are negative then we learn those beliefs. Some people have been blessed because their parents were successful at life and so they learned to be successful. Learn about yourself, how you think, your feelings and your life. Know that your thoughts can be changed. I work at staying positive every day - because it makes me feel better and has helped my life. Then I can turn around and help others. In some situations, I move to help those that feel they have nothing left to live for.

It is vital for you to know that your spirit is alive and well - that no matter what you have been through it can never be changed. Never. It is perfect and complete, right here and right now. You and I, and everyone, is a living, breathing part of this universe. The universe holds nothing against us, ever.

Affirm today, "Today I let go of all feelings of sadness and pain. I release the past. I know that there is a part of me that has never been hurt, never been damaged. I am whole and complete, today and forever. I am goodness, truth and I am divinely guided in all that I do. I affirm happiness and success in all I do. I am safe."

Bless you.

[ramelyrybe]

Depression is definitely something you should not mess around with. I know because I have been there. The reality is that it's not your fault... or at least not all your fault. It's true that we can bring bad circumstances our way by making poor decisions, but it may be that you suffer from a chemical imbalance that makes it impossible for your body to respond to life in a healthy way. I'm sorry that your parents have not been supportive. That is so common with parents of teens. I used to be a youth pastor, and I can tell you some horror stories about how disfunctional families can be.
As Christians we face the same daily challenges that non-believers do, but in addition to that, we have this faith that can seem useless at times. Yes, even long time, strong Christians have doubts about who God is and His place in our lives. I have struggled with the very thing that you are going through. It can be a horrible place to be in, to need God so badly but find Him not reachable. I had to realize that it was me who had distanced myself from Him, not Him from me. The Word says that He will never leave you nor forsake you. If you once found joy in worshipping Him, then you can hear what He has to say to you.
I hope that you have someone whom you can trust to ask for help. I don't think you should let this go to chance. God is a miracle worker, but he uses people to help his children. Don't be afraid to cry out to your God, even if it sounds pathetic and silly. He is listening no matter what you feel or think. I won't tell you that you should make yourself go to that church because maybe it's not the place for you. The fact is that you ARE the church and going to a place every week doesn't make you closer to God. Your relationship to Him is inside of you... He is in you. You have the power to overcome this, and I believe that you will. Please, just reach out to someone who is near you. The internet is great, but you need a live person by your side.

[Gem07]

Write out a list of things you love to do (or used to love to do). Force yourself to do some of those things every day.

Also, force yourself to do basic things every single day like: take a shower, brush your teeth, wear clean clothes.

Ask your parents if you can see a psychologist because you really need help. If they refuse, go to your school counselor and share your sadness.

Make some goals for yourself for the future. Have something to look forward to when the gloom lifts and you make it through.

Best of luck.