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Emily94 · May 8, 2007, 03:50 PM

When my dad and mom broke up my mom took both are dogs and I stayed with my dad. I really wanted a dog so I called someone that had some and I made ALL the arrangements, pick-up, called the vets for her shots, and I feed her, give her water, walk her, everything, all my dad does is buy the food. Now I'm going to live with my mom and I want to take the dog yet my dad won't let me take her. Do you think that legally my mom could get custody of the dog even know we got her after my mom moved out, because my dad amitted he we won't take her for walks or anything except at hunting season she'll be used for hunting:( I really want her! Please Help

froggy7 · May 8, 2007, 04:28 PM

Unfortunately, no, your mom can't file for custody of the dog. In the eyes of the law, pets are property, with no more rights than a table or a car. About the best thing you can do is talk to both parents, and see if they can talk to each other about letting the dog go with you. Good luck!

RubyPitbull · May 8, 2007, 05:46 PM

Emily, is it possible to suggest to your Dad that he "borrow" the dog when he wants to go hunting? Since he admits that he won't really take care of the dog, that is not a good situation for your pet to be in. Since hunting season is limited and I am sure you Dad doesn't go every day, it would be a reasonable solution to the problem, don't you think?

Emily94 · May 8, 2007, 06:30 PM

Well my mom doesn't want to talk to my dad and my dog doesn't listen to a single thing may dad sais. It attacks him on site if I let her go near him, unless I call her of she'll keep gorwling and barking at him because he hit her a lot when he was training her. Yet after the 3 days he "trained" her, I went over it and taught her everything. He also said no because my mom had resently thought about putting her elderly dog down and my dad didn't think it was right and now thinks she will put her down as well.

RubyPitbull · May 8, 2007, 06:37 PM

Oh boy. Sounds like your parents have a lot of issues between them. I am so sorry you are caught in the middle. I know you don't want to upset anyone but if the dog doesn't like him, it sounds rather foolish for him to want the dog AND for him to think that putting down an elderly dog is wrong unless the dog is still healthy. Is the older dog sick?

labman · May 8, 2007, 06:42 PM

I am sure your mother had a lawyer for the divorce. Maybe she should check with him. This isn't a dog problem other than your fathers poor training technique of hitting the dog. I would see that as a good reason to take the dog away, but our laws are more tolerant of such abuse.

Fr_Chuck · May 8, 2007, 06:45 PM

I feel so sorry for you, I would say you can give both of this a copy of these posts maybe, they are hurting you and using you and the dogs to fight over their anger. They are both being childish and hateful and should be ashamed of thierself.

They need to think of what is right for you, and that this is your dog, and honestly when I left I would just take it, and tell him tuff. ( sorry one of the few times I would say to argure back somewhat, and most know I almost never say that) He is trying to hurt your mom with the dog, not thinking it is hurting you.

RubyPitbull · May 8, 2007, 06:45 PM

Yes, labman, I agree. I was about to sign off and was starting to write to suggest that her Mom speak to her lawyer. The other, less aggressive way to go about this that I was thinking of, would be to ask a grandparent/aunt/uncle, someone Emily's father may listen to, to speak with him about it. Maybe that person can convince him to do the right thing and give her the dog. At this point, hearing about the hitting, I wouldn't even let him borrow the dog.

labman · May 8, 2007, 06:47 PM

Another thought, whose dog is this? Aren't you getting to take your other personal things? You dad bought the dog food. He also paid the electric bill for your hair dryer. Shouldn't you take both?

Emily94 · May 8, 2007, 06:48 PM

Well my mom and dad were never married so they didn't have a lawyer when the broke up... and keep in mind the dog was bought AFTER the break up.

Emily94 · May 8, 2007, 06:54 PM

And also, it is my dog when: it is off her leash, when it needs food, when she needs to go for a walk, when she barks,when she needs more/ different training, when her dog house is broken... his dog when:he wants to go quading(friends take there dog he takes MINE), it does something good, more less it is his dog when it is a perfect dog!

Matt3046 · May 8, 2007, 07:55 PM

Nice photo. I know you love your dog , but come on give the guy a break all he has left is the dog. And to answer your question I don't think your mom can get "physical custody" but maybe you can see the dog like every other weekend.

froggy7 · May 8, 2007, 07:58 PM

It's a sticky situation legally, since I can see the argument that the dog is actually the father's, not Emily's, in the eyes of the law. The law doesn't expect minor children to be responsible for pets. If it wasn't being fed, and the SPCA was called, dad couldn't say "It's Emily's dog... not my problem if it doesn't get fed."

If the parents don't live close together, and mom agrees, I might just take the dog with me, and see if dad even bothered with trying to get her back. Out of sight, out of mind. But if you are just moving down the block, that might not work.

The other option, which may not be what you want to hear, is to consider rehoming the dog. If it turns out that there is no way of taking the dog with, it might be better to find it a new home rather than leave her with dad. And something which you probably know, but hasn't been clear from the posts so far... is your mom OK with you bringing the dog to her house? It is remotely possible that dad is refusing because mom doesn't want the dog there.

RubyPitbull · May 9, 2007, 04:27 PM

Emily honey, I am moving your Private Message to me here, back to your original question. I hope you don't mind but the owners of this site expect us to attempt to help people on their original posts and not privately. This way, the others who have responded are also given an opportunity to assist you as well.

You wrote:
labrador
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
you resently posted an anserew to my question about me fighting for my dog. If it gets to the point were when i move and she loses weight(due to no food) and i contact animal control, is it possible i can get her if the police think my dad isnt capable of taking care of her?

I really would hate to think of your dog having to be in crisis before you can do anything about the situation. Isn't there anyone you can ask to speak with your Dad who he might be willing to listen to? What would happen if you took Fr Chuck's and froggy's advice and just took the dog with you? He did agree at the beginning that this was your dog, didn't he? Can't you put your foot down and tell him that he is punishing you by taking your dog away from you? Tell him he is taking out his frustration with your mother on you and that it isn't fair to you. If reasoning with him doesn't work, start crying outside of where you live so it will embarrass him. I hate suggesting this but I don't know what else to say. He is wrong to be doing this to you and you need to find a way to make him understand that. Have you spoken with your Mother to see if she might have some ideas? They don't have to involve her but she knows him well enough to have an idea as to what or who, might get him change his mind

If you simply cannot get through to him by reasoning with him, yes you can file a complaint with your local Humane Society, ASPCA, animal control, or animal rescue group. They will do an inspection and give him a warning. They will then follow up. Depedending on the group, it might take a couple of warnings before they will be allowed to take the dog. But, there are problem with this scenario. Until they do take her, your dog will be suffering. It also doesn't guarantee that you will get her. Your father can very easily sign away the dog to them. That is how they usually work. Even though they want her to be taken care of, as long as you are not an adult, they won't just give her back to you. They might ask him if they can give him to your mother, if she is willing to take responsibility for the dog. Doing it this way, could get awfully complicated for you and might result in your losing your dog forever. I don't know if you want to take the chance doing something like that. I would rather see you find someone who is willing to get your father to understand that what he is doing is wrong and hurtful to you.

labman, it appears from Emily's message to me that she has a labrador. Is there anything else you can think of that might be of help to her?

Emily94 · May 9, 2007, 05:06 PM

Yah my mom said I can bring my dog to her house, she is also willing to get her male dalmatian fixed so there is no puppies! But her dalmatian doesn't even equal to my dog, mine is obdient and she listens to only me making me feel like I'm the one in charge were mym oms dog is just an idiot! But it can learn fast I trained it heel in less than 10min.

labman · May 9, 2007, 06:20 PM

I have made a rare exception by answering the PM Emily sent me. I brought out a couple of important points. The dog is going to be spayed. The father has a girl friend that would like to see the dog go.

As I said, this isn't a dog problem, and I know of nothing typical of Labs that would make much difference. I told her I have never worked much with animal control, and others may have a better idea what they would do.

RubyPitbull · May 10, 2007, 05:37 AM

labman, I was thinking of maybe suggesting she contact a Lab Rescue near where Emily lives.

Emily, I think if you can speak with everyone around you to help you, you will succeed in convincing your dad. Sounds like you have been doing just that. His girlfriend will definitely be a BIG help if you take the time to speak with her and get her to see your side. Since she doesn't want the dog around, you have a good ally in her.

It sounds like you have become very good at training dogs. I think getting your dog spayed and your mom's dalmatian neutered, is a very smart move here. I am sure you if you take the time, you can work with the dalmatian and get him to behave, as you have done with your own dog.

Please let us know how you are doing with all of this by posting back here. :)

Emily94 · May 10, 2007, 05:54 AM

Well I asked if my dad could just take the dog at hunting season and he said no because he's not aloud at my moms, and I suggested to my dad that my grnadpa pick the dog up and he said that the dog isn't leaving and that's final:(

RubyPitbull · May 10, 2007, 06:03 AM

As some of us suggested, you really need to speak to his girlfriend, your grandfather, ANYONE, that might be able to get your Dad to see that what he is doing is hurtful to you because the dog is yours, and will be hurtful to the dog. It sounds like your Dad might be upset that you are now going to be living with your Mother and he is punishing you. An adult needs to get him to understand that he is not being a reasonable and loving father. Is he at all religious? Is there someone in his Church that may be willing to speak with him, that he might listen to? You need to think hard Emily, and figure out who your father respects, admires, loves,. who he will be willing to listen to about this situation. Then you need to speak with all those people, everyone and anyone. The more adults who speak to him about this, the more he might be willing to listen to reason. You need to start building a "network of help" around you.

labman · May 10, 2007, 08:52 AM

I love having Ruby here to help me with dog questions. She is better than I am at people problems. It will have to get pretty bad for animal control to take the dog away and you still might not get her. I think your best chance is just as Ruby says, seek out other adults he will listen to. If Grandpa is his father, he could be a highly effective help.