Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    randomguy19's Avatar
    randomguy19 Posts: 81, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    May 6, 2007, 07:28 PM
    Friend makes fun of friend
    My friend is always asking why we never hang out anymore.. He tells people that I ignore him. Well is this a good reason? Every time I'm around him or I talk to him he always brings up one of my flaws. He always makes fun of me about it and jokes about it. All my life I was teased about this yet he still continues to talk about it. I know that he knows it bothers me but yet he still does it. When I'm around him he makes me out to be an idiot and slower then him. Is this a real reason to stop hanging around this friend? Other then this, he is a very great friend and fun to hang around. But this is really bothering me and makes me feel unattractive and like crap.
    Bluerose's Avatar
    Bluerose Posts: 1,521, Reputation: 310
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    May 6, 2007, 07:54 PM
    Yes that is a very good reason not to want to hang around someone. Especially since it has been pointed out just how much it annoys you. No one should be allowed to bring you down like that and undermine your confidence. Move on and seek out friends who are more positive and helpful.
    Thomas1970's Avatar
    Thomas1970 Posts: 856, Reputation: 131
    Senior Member
     
    #3

    May 6, 2007, 08:11 PM
    I had a friend like that for 18 years. I used to tell myself that all that time counted for something, that loyalty took some odd precedence over his often uncontrolled behavior. But in the end, I realize I really am better off without him, and that he was never really all that much of a true friend.
    Essentially your friend is very insecure within himself, and as long as you stick unconditionally by him through such times, he will never really learn to help himself. Perhaps you don't necessarily have to part from him immediately or completely if he seems willing to modify his behavior appreciably with some fairly substantial time apart -- but if he continues on in the way he has, it is not at all healthy for either of you. You can do far better.
    Have compassion for him, but don't ever let him bring you down. Everyone deserves a chance, but it seems you have given him a great deal of that already.
    Good luck. Take care.
    LuvMyMaltipoo's Avatar
    LuvMyMaltipoo Posts: 281, Reputation: 39
    Full Member
     
    #4

    May 6, 2007, 08:41 PM
    He doesn't sound like anyone I would call MY friend. Throughout your life you will call a lot of people your friends and eventually you will come across those people that don't deserve your time. You can still be nice to him, but just tell him that you don't think friends should treat each other that way. You will never have to question a good friend's actions.
    krystal1973's Avatar
    krystal1973 Posts: 100, Reputation: 22
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    May 6, 2007, 08:43 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by randomguy19
    My friend is always asking why we never hang out anymore.. He tells people that I ignore him. Well is this a good reason? Everytime I'm around him or I talk to him he always brings up one of my flaws. He always makes dun of me about it and jokes about it. All my life I was teased about this yet he still continues to talk about it. I know that he knows it bothers me but yet he still does it. When I'm around him he makes me out to be an idiot and slower then him. Is this a real reason to stop hanging around this friend? Other then this, he is a very great friend and fun to hang around. But this is really bothering me and makes me feel unattractive and like crap.
    Tell your friend how you feel, and ask him not to treat you that way. Tell him it hurts your feelings if it does. Do not retaliate and say mean things to him, it won't make you any better of a person. If it makes you feel better to ignore him for awhile, after you tell him at least he will know why you are doing it. Don't worry about what he is telling other people about the reasons you are hanging out with him.
    isabelle's Avatar
    isabelle Posts: 310, Reputation: 31
    Full Member
     
    #6

    May 7, 2007, 04:09 AM
    This sounds like a toxic person for you. I have always been advised to stay away from people who make me feel bad. I think this is good advice. I don't feel this is a friend, as friends make us feel good about ourselves.
    You sound like a very perceptive person and I feel you deserve much better friends.
    templelane's Avatar
    templelane Posts: 1,177, Reputation: 227
    Ultra Member
     
    #7

    May 7, 2007, 09:02 AM
    Think of this

    "your best friends are not always the people who are best for you, just the people you met first"

    Ditch him, you could do so much better. One thing I have learnt in life is never put up with people who make you feel bad. The others are right.
    Matt3046's Avatar
    Matt3046 Posts: 831, Reputation: 128
    Senior Member
     
    #8

    May 7, 2007, 09:12 AM
    Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.


    -Murphy
    randomguy19's Avatar
    randomguy19 Posts: 81, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #9

    May 7, 2007, 12:37 PM
    Thanks guys... I felt like maybe it was just me and maybe I should laugh with him about it, even though it really makes me feel bad. He wasn't like this when we first met, then eventually this became a habit. I don't have that many friends either.
    Matt3046's Avatar
    Matt3046 Posts: 831, Reputation: 128
    Senior Member
     
    #10

    May 7, 2007, 02:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by randomguy19
    Thanks guys... I felt like maybe it was just me and maybe I should laugh with him about it, even though it really makes me feel bad. He wasn't like this when we first met, then eventually this became a habit. I don't have that many friends either.

    You will
    Josh777's Avatar
    Josh777 Posts: 22, Reputation: 3
    New Member
     
    #11

    May 25, 2007, 03:38 AM
    Have you told him that this is bothering you. Not 3 words you are anoyying. No a real conversation?
    breyegrl's Avatar
    breyegrl Posts: 14, Reputation: 3
    New Member
     
    #12

    Oct 10, 2007, 07:32 AM
    Once you start to put yourself out there to meet new people you will find more friends. Your situation reminds me of a saying that mom used to tell me when a "friendship" went sour: With friends like that who needs enemies
    70ssue's Avatar
    70ssue Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #13

    Nov 19, 2007, 06:52 AM
    I use to have a so called friend like yours. She use to run me down all the time, mainly because I was shy, until one day I couldn't take anymore and told her what I think of her. She never picked on me after that. I lost her friendship, but I know that she wasn't a real friend.
    You're better off without him.
    holyangel17's Avatar
    holyangel17 Posts: 34, Reputation: 0
    Junior Member
     
    #14

    Sep 29, 2009, 09:17 PM

    It is OK to have few friends who are good friends than many friends who are not good to you! Even I have only 3 or 4 friends that I consider friends; sometimes, it is hard to let people in your inner circle especially if you got hurt before... Anyway, you will be fine without him. If he is hurting you, it is better to not be friends with him. However, you should directly let him know why you are not going to be friends with him anymore rather than avoiding him. That way, he will realize his mistake and will see you are a strong person who could stand up for yourself and you will be better without him :)

    Hope this helps!
    rnrg's Avatar
    rnrg Posts: 48, Reputation: 20
    Junior Member
     
    #15

    Sep 30, 2009, 01:17 PM

    A TRUE friend will always have your best interest at heart. He will not berate you, belittle you, or intimidate you. A TRUE friend will champion you, instead of attack. He will defend your honor before others, instead of tear you down in front of them.

    It has been said that those that make fun of others and say hurtful things, do so because they think it makes them look better in the sight of those listening. This is so attention can be drawn away from their own faults and pointed to someone else.

    You have been a true friend by sticking with this person. Now be a better friend by "having a talk" with this fellow, in a way that he can understand. Be firm and stand strong and let him know where you stand. If he can't change his ways, move on without him. Let this be a lesson is growing up and look to the next friend that will come in your path. Choose them wisely. Real friends can stick closer than brothers or sisters. And, you can enjoy them for a lifetime.
    mystiqu's Avatar
    mystiqu Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #16

    Dec 30, 2009, 08:53 PM

    Obviously he's not a good friend

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

How can I help a friend? [ 2 Answers ]

I have a friend that is 16 years old. She has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Used to be on drugs and has been to a lot of help programs. She is now getting better and is perfectly fine except occasionally has a smoke. She told met she up with her ex boyfriend and is thinking...

My Best Friend [ 5 Answers ]

I don't know where to start. I'm 16 and I met probably the most influential person in my life named Jamie. I met her at work and we started hanging out and all that. Things were going real well until last Saturday. I just want to get this out there before someone thinks of this in a different...

Friend poached another friend! Advice? [ 11 Answers ]

I had never had this feeling before, but last summer I felt like one of my friends was poaching another, as in they were going to be friends with each other INSTEAD of me, not in addition to me. A series of events happened in a few days (friend #1 supposed to come early to help with my...

Does my best friend want more from me? [ 3 Answers ]

I have this friend that I have known since my junior year of high school and we weren't close at all I would see him in school and say wassup to him. But then one day he asks for my number and I was like that's cool. So I give him my number we talked sometimes but not that much. I always called...


View more questions Search