[amanda1903]

My 4 month old son's father is not involved or interested in him. I have contacted him numerous times throughout my pregnancy and since my son's birth. He is not listed on the birth certificate. Can my father adopt him? My son is his namesake and he is a very involved part of our lives and I feel like it would be a positive emotional step to have him officially listed on the birth certificate for my son. I would not be giving up my rights, just adding my father.

Would the courts allow this? Would it automatically terminate his bio father's rights? I do not want to live in constant fear that he will show up in ten years and want to take my son--I want it to be on MY terms if he chooses to come back in the future, as he has been completely indifferent up until this point.

Thanks for any advice you can offer.

[LadyB]

It can't hurt to discuss the issue with an attorney, but do you want to give up your child's right to financial support (even if not emotional support) from his bio father?

[shygrneyzs]

Can your Father adopt your child? Do you realize this could mean you lose your parental rights? In order for your child's biological Father to terminate his rights, he is the one who makes the petition to have his rights terminated. Unless you can prove him an unfit Father. Then the courts may terminate his rights.

But please contact an attorney who has experience in Family Law about this. You may not be able to retain your rights if your Father adopts.

Please read the following thread.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...her-89239.html

[Squiffy]

Usually the bio father would have to be willing to allow someone else to adopt their child. I am not sure the courts would allow your father to adopt him as it would then make your son your legal brother and I am not sure how the law would view that. Its certainly worth seeing what a lawyer would say. Is it worth it though? Why not just pursue child support from the father and get a custody order? My kids have contact with their dad but I have 100% full legal custody of them, he will never be able to fight it through the courts, so all the access is on my terms. It can be done legally without having to resort ot adoption. Incidentally my ex has also been ordered to pay no child support either, so you can also terminate financial responsibility too, though only under certain conditions, and that depends where you live.

[s_cianci]

I'm not sure the courts would encourage your father adopting your son. A judge might be reluctant to forever shut the door on the bio father, even if he deserves it. You probably could have your father named a legal guardian. That would give your father certain parental rights and responsibilities but not make him the legal father.

[amanda1903]

It can't hurt to discuss the issue with an attorney, but do you want to give up your child's right to financial support (even if not emotional support) from his bio father?

I do not want financial support. I am terrified that if I pursue financial support, he will want visitation just to be mean to me and mistreat or kidnap my son.

[amanda1903]

Can your Father adopt your child? Do you realize this could mean you lose your parental rights? In order for your child's biological Father to terminate his rights, he is the one who makes the petition to have his rights terminated. Unless you can prove him an unfit Father. Then the courts may terminate his rights.

]

That was one of the questions I had. I could not find any info on grandparent adoption except when both parents are relinquishing rights.

[amanda1903]

Usually the bio father would have to be willing to allow someone else to adopt their child. I am not sure the courts would allow your father to adopt him as it would then make your son your legal brother and I am not sure how the law would view that. Its certainly worth seeing what a lawyer would say. Is it worth it though? Why not just pursue child support from the father and get a custody order? My kids have contact with their dad but I have 100% full legal custody of them, he will never be able to fight it through the courts, so all the access is on my terms. It can be done legally without having to resort ot adoption. Incidentally my ex has also been ordered to pay no child support either, so you can also terminate financial responsibility too, though only under certain conditions, and that depends where you live.

How did you get a custody order that he can't fight? I have already contacted a lawyer, but he said he couldn't guarantee full custody if FOB wanted to fight it. I know he doesn't want anything to do with my son right now, but he is very vindictive and I need peace of mind for both now and in the future.

[amanda1903]

I'm not sure the courts would encourage your father adopting your son. A judge might be reluctant to forever shut the door on the bio father, even if he deserves it. You probably could have your father named a legal guardian. That would give your father certain parental rights and responsibilities but not make him the legal father.

I guess that's what I'm having trouble understanding. First, how does someone who isn't even listed as the father have rights to be terminated? What if I just claimed to not know who the father was? (Hypothetical, I am not a dishonest person)

I can understand the legality and fairness issues in situations where a father might WANT to be involved and hasn't been informed, but I have documentation of my attempts to contact this man. I'm not trying to be malicious, I just want to protect my son. I thought this would be the best way.

Thanks for the tip about legal guardianship.

[LadyB]

Are you willing to lie under oath, and risk perjury charges, to state you don't know who the father is? It's really best that you get him named, get a legal child support and visitation agreement in place and go from there. Financial support isn't about you or what you want, it's about your child. PS: If he kidnaps the kid later, it would then be a Federal felony.

But, If you have documentation of trying to contact him, you may be able to get his rights terminated on grounds of abandonment.

Anyway, I think you should see about having your dad named as a co-guardian rather than the legal father via adoption as a previous poster suggested.

[babieface85]

I am not sure but I think you can change your son's last name with out having you father adopt him.

[GV70]

I am not sure but I think you can change your son's last name with out having you father adopt him.

No.It is impossible to be done without father's consent.

[babieface85]

[QUOTE=GV70]No.It is impossible to be done without father's consent.[/QUOTE
True
Still he does not have to adopt the child.

[amanda1903]

I am not sure but I think you can change your son's last name with out having you father adopt him.

He doesn't have his father's name--he refused to sign the birth certificate.