[sypher373]

Hey all,

I have looked around on the internet and not found much on this topic. It seems to be a problem that quite a few people here have. It almost seems to be linked with intelligence - as in the people who are the 'thinkers' may think too much for their own good in a situation like a breakup.

I know I have, and I find myself many times worrying so much about being upset over something that "might" happen, I upset myself at the present. Almost as if I'm forcing myself to get upset to prove that I was right.

I was just wodnering if anyone had any thoughts on this, and possibly any ideas on how one can stop overanalyzing everything that happens. Somedays I wish I could just take evertying that has happened to me at its face value, not always think something has hidden meaning. Analysis is good, but sometimes enough is enough.

[Geoffersonairplane]

Somedays I wish i could just take evertying that has happened to me at its face value, not always think something has hidden meaning.

In time, I think you will.

[tawnynkids]

I think everyone needs to feel some sense of closure to any given situation, and feel they will get it if they can only "figure it all out". Maybe you can start with trying to let go everything that can happen and deal with only the things that you have had control over. Truth is that is all you can control anyway. Nobody makes you do anything and you can't make anyone else do anything. We are all an influence but ultimately we are only in control of our own thoughts, feelings and actions. Analyze yours only. Maybe if you can feel "in the clear", for lack of better terms, by apologizing for the things you may need to to make it right, forgive yourself and others, and deal with what is in front of you and not ahead of you, then you can stop over analyzing and worrying about things so much. Don't know, just my thoughts...

[lmnotok]

Yeah, I agree, enough is enough

[sypher373]

Im sure I'm not the only one that thinks its frustrating to be told "stop thinking about it so much"... Too bad there's no switch :)

As far as I can tell, keeping busy is the best thing, though there is no way to keep busy 100% of the time. I suppose time helps as well. Perhaps "letting things go" and accepting "just beucase" is a skill that we learn with experience.

[startover22]

I have a husband that can keep a subject going on until I fall asleep in his sweet arms. I on the other hand I am more of a black and white type of person. I think about many things, but I can stop on a dime in most cases. Sometimes I wish I could analize just a little more so I don't stick my foot in my mouth. My husband analizes too much, maybe we can meet in the iddle and become one perfect person! Haha. Anyway, how ever you are is how you are supposed to be, learning how to control that is the hardest part! Oh and by over analizing, you never know, you might come up with one clever answer, maybe a little better than someone who doesn't analize at all. Good luck!

[Geoffersonairplane]

Thinkers are interesting people but one must learn when to close the book and when to open the book, that is where the wise thinker succeeds.

[Geoffersonairplane]

Sypher...

It does get easier to do as to speak...

I know what you are saying but trust me, closing the book becomes easier when you learn when to expess yourself and open yourself. Analysing everything is an expression in itself of who you are and what you are...

To deny that is to deny yourself...

Never do that..

Be true to yourself and others is what I say and firmly believe in...

However... I feel I am drifting from the point you make about over analysing which from what I gather about you relates fundamentally to your current situation i.e your breakup. I don't doubt you are a deep thinker for the most part anyway. Your problem possibly comes from yourself and you should take some time out to work on yourself and really dig deep within yourself, a kind of self introspection.

Life has many challenges and is a steep learning curve but is all the more rewarding because of this. Seek comfort in knowing that this is true..

[sypher373]

That was perfect Geoff,
I am in the process of finding faults within myself and fixing them, and this is one that I have identified. I guess I wasn't sure whether it is technically a fault that I have, or just something I must keep in check. As time passes, I become better able to analyze what, and when, I want to.

[Geoffersonairplane]

Now this is getting quite deep now, but also remember that you should never take time to analyse yourself and then analyse what people see about you and who your are and then mould yourself around what they expect you to be.

Live unto yourself and not unto others...

Did that make sense??

I'm not sure... LOL :rolleyes:

[sypher373]

I think I got what your saying Geoff...

Don't change who you are for anyone else, or just to fit it. If your changing yourself, change only for yourself. Do what makes you happy :)

Makes perfect sense

[Geoffersonairplane]

I think I got what your saying Geoff...

Don't change who you are for anyone else, or just to fit it. If your changing yourself, change only for yourself. Do what makes you happy :)

Makes perfect sense

You got it buddy, this is what I mean. As we grow, we learn this... At least the wise ones do or at least the ones who want to be open to change.

[1badchoice]

There's a lot of sound advice given so far. But nothing on how to stop analyzing all the time. I find that analyzing has become second nature and often I have to stop and feel. In other words, I can get stuck with thinking so much I don't feel what I should... Sometimes I think it's a learned response to not wanting to feel negative things. Other times I think it's just how my brain works. The thing is... my brain needs a break. Maybe do something that doesn't allow for a lot of thinking. Watch movie, read a book (not thought provoking), play... laugh. I hope I'm not way out in left field here but this is my two cents... for what it's worth. :O)

[sypher373]

There's alot of sound advice given so far. But nothing on how to stop analyzing all the time. I find that analyzing has become second nature and often I have to stop and feel. In other words, I can get stuck with thinking so much I don't feel what I should...... Sometimes I think it's a learned response to not wanting to feel negative things. Other times I think it's just how my brain works. The thing is.......my brain needs a break. Maybe do something that doesn't allow for alot of thinking. Watch movie, read a book (not thought provoking), play.......laugh. I hope I'm not way out in left field here but this is my two cents........for what it's worth. :O)

I agree 100%. This is actually the original intent of my posting. I was wondering what other peoples suggestions were on how they stop overanalyzing/obsessing about something. Good suggestions. Staying busy works for me... most of the time :)

[1badchoice]

Sypher,
Just glad I wasn't way out there on my take of things. LOL
Cathy

[Geoffersonairplane]

Sypher, I may have drifted from the point in my last responses so apologies for that. Some food for thought though.

To answer your question specifically in this thread without drifting (sorry that is a habit of mine... LOL) the way to stop obsessing/over analysing something is to try and give your mind a break like 1badchoice says and do something you enjoy. Exercise, go on a day trip somewhere, watch a movie, go to the cinema, go bowling, go out with friends for a few drinks and shoot some pool, whatever it is you enjoy doing that takes your mind off whatever it is you are analysing or obsessing about. To over analyse everything is very tiring for yourself but at times I believe is necessary to an extent but it is a case of knowing when to close the book as I referred to earlier. Thinking is appropriate at times but you must also give your mind some breathing space. In my opinion, obsessing about something can be quite unhealthy but we can all go through phases like that.

[Jiser]

The best thing to stop over analysing is to simply keep yourself busy. Ive been non stop this weekend no time for myself at all. It does get a bit exuahsting after a while having fun :) Dam more fun than ever, coor its tooooo much!

After a while it will become second nature - keeping busy, going to the gym, having hobbies, friends, partying, going to gigs, doing random things and you will findyourself thinking less and less of your ex and more about your fun... In time someone else will come in and your heart will be taken once more.

[AW805]

I call it "my little hamster wheel". My braining is always going and sometimes I have a hard time falling asleep. My husband doesn't have the same thing, he can just shut things down at any given moment. The one good thing is that, I'm always ready with a list of things in my head that need to be done.

For instance, we recently went on a trip where I got everything ready and packed even got the electric light timers set throughout the house, cleaned out the fridge, charged the batteries for camera, cellphone and chargers, reset the thermostat, scheduled the kennel for the dog, made sure the dogs shots were current, called the police station to do drive bys on our house, scheduled hotels, stopped the newspaper and mail delivery... etc. However, my husband only remembered to get the oil change on our car. Go figure!

I do though, have a "hamster wheel" friend. I can call her and bounce things off her so that I'm not overthinking things. It really does help a lot!

[talaniman]

Balance your life with doing, as well as thinking, have fun as well as work hard, smile sometimes and cry if you have to. Balance is the key to good health.