[pugster01]

I have been dating my girlfriend for a year and half now and it was going pretty good for awhile. There was a point when we were on shaky grounds but we got through all that. Lately it just seems like I am getting so bored being with her. She works late nights a restaurant and I have a day job. Granted she doesn't work every night but about 4 times a week. I have never cheated on anyone let alone her, I think even if I had a chance to I wouldn't. I am crazy sexual person just towards one person, I guess you can say I am little old fashioned. I am not bored with our life in bed but with the mental relationship we are having. I enjoy more then anything going out with her, her and my friends together, or just us. Whenever we go out we always have a really good time. It could just be sitting on the beach laughing for hours. Lately especially for the past 3 months she has been spending so much time everyday working, double shifts included. I just feel so left out, we don't have the adventures we have anymore. Just getting in the car and driving not knowing where we'll end up. We aren't teenagers but I am not ready for the marriage lifestyle of all work and then just coming home. I have always been an adventurous person, playing sports or do something challenging. Just not rotting away in front of the TV after hours of work. I don't want to lose her and I really do care for her, I try to tell her and all she can say is sry. What can I do to get some life and adventure back into the relationship? I don't want to end up that person sitting on the couch just waiting for the other person that just isn't me.

[ForeverZero]

First thing's first. You need to evaluate weather or not you're upset with her, or the situation. IE if you spent the ideal amount of time a day with her, would you still be bored? If so, you're upset with her, and my only advice is that you should re-evaluate your relationship.

It sounds to me more like you're upset with the situation, at which point you need to assess your goals in life, and hers. Personally, I've always been more relationship oriented, so I'd take a crappy job that allows me to be with the people I love, but that's just me. You should talk with her about this and see if she's willing to change jobs/shifts/whatever, or see if you're willing to accommodate her time schedule to make things work.

Before you tell me you can't and she can't, keep one thing in mind. Relationships aren't easy, they're a lot of work, if they weren't, everybody would have one.

[ceriphante]

Actually another angle on this is..
Why is it she's doing so many double shifts? Is the reason she's working so hard so that you can go places in life together perhaps ?

I don't pretend to know the exact situation but perhaps you could take on a bigger workload yourself so that she can cut hers back a bit and that way you've created more time to spend together?

[talaniman]

I think you are bored because you don't do anything to enjoy yourself. I don't think you should be sitting on the couch waiting for some one to do something with. Why not do things for yourself, like a hobby, or working out. Don't you have a life with out her? Another way to look at it is, you have too much time on your hands if your bored, so find some way to put the time to good productive use.