[zooropa1985]

My girl broke up with me 8 days ago and its tearing me apart, ill start from the beginning.

Me and Jude had been going out for 10months, she was perfect for me. We quickly fell in love with each other after a few months, we are both young and so admitted that it was both of our first times being in love. For the first 2 or 3 months everything was perfect but then I did the stupid thing of asking about her ex's.

She told me she had only been with one other guy in a realationship, it lasted 6 months because he didn't treat her right, he would not show up and the thing that hurt the most was he didn't turn up for her 16th birthday party. She told me that this has left her insecure. They didn't hve sex but they did perform oral. I had no problem with this, he was after all, her byfriend at the time. Then came the shock.

She told me that 4 months before we met she had lost her virginity to a 28 year old man after a one night stand, she was only 16 at the time and so was a minor. This blew my mind, I'm the jealous type, I will admit to it, it bugged me for months but I kind of kept it in the back of my mind.

Everynow and then my girl would do little things that would annoy me, I never really argued over it, we never yelled or shouted at each other, I would only ever argue in a text when she wasn't near me, it was never heated only things like I don't want to see you tonight, silly things like that.

Anyhoo things happened and my jealousy would show more and more, this was my first relationship so these emotions where all new to me too. Her 18th birthday party was coming up and we had it all planned out to a T. I was so looking forward to it. Then she tells me 2 weeks before the party that she was having 2 different ones and that I wouldn't be invited to her night out with the girls. This made me jealous, I never let it show until we were both home and I texted her saying that I was a little annoyed. She didn't seem bothered so I texted her saying that I ju wouldn't show up to any of the parties. I later said I was sorry as I know that she was hurt before this way, I just wanted to get some kind of reaction from her, I was always planning on going.

I met with her that Wednesday and told her hw sorry I was, she seemed upset but fine at the end of the night. That Friday we went to the movies, I paid and she seemed a little distant, halfway through the movie she looked at me and grabed my hand, we both looked at each other for a secnd before kissing. I thought she was fine again, we went back to my car and made out for a while.

Saturday night came and we were going to a party, she seemed distant again, but I thought nothing of it. After a while she started saying she felt sick and I offered to drive her home early. I drove her home and she didn't speak, she got out of the car with a simple bye, that was the last time I would see her...

Sunday was the day it happened. I got a text saying that she couldn't handle the hurt and that she was ending it. I was shocked and confused. I phoned her and asked her why? She just told me over and over again that she had made her mind up. I started crying and begged her to change her mind, she was crying too but said it was too late, she hung up.

I tried to call her back many times that day but she wouldn't answer, it took her ages to finally text me back saying that she was sorry but it was over.

You have to understand that this was a girl who thought I was mr perfect, she loved me and wasn't afraid to show it, she asked me many times never to dump her (I wouldnt) and that I was the person she loved. She would text me and if I didn't answer within 30minutes she would text me back, text my sister and my mates to make sure I was OK.

Now I can't get her to text me back, when she does she says she wants to be friends, or that its over or she needs more time, I don't honestly know what she wants. I want her back so much but she doesn't seem bothered, I offer her to meet sh says no it will hurt her too much. I've said sorry and spent £50 on presents for her birthday which she refused to let me go too. She seems to have become a different person. She won't even talk on the phone because it hurts her too much.

She doesn't seem to care about my pain, she doesn't want to meet in the middle and its like I'm talking to someone else. Her friends and family don't want her to get back with me but I know deep down inside she wants it too work.

EDIT: I should point out that her reason for breaking up was because I reminded her of her ex boyfriend when I joked I wasn't going to her party, she says all the little tiffs we have had our coming back into her head all in one go and that she can't take the hurt. She says she loves me but she doesn't want to know about my pain or try and sort it out, she just says no.

What should I do? Im so scared that she may be gone for good. I know that if I give her time she will change her mind. I think it may come down to the stress of her A levels next month. Im so sorry for hurting her and I've told her so. What else can I do?

[stephmgr]

My girl broke up with me 8 days ago and its tearing me apart, ill start from the beggining.

Me and Jude had been goin out for 10months, she was perfect for me. We quickly fell in love with each other after a few months, we are both young and so admited that it was both of our first times being in love. For the first 2 or 3 months everything was perfect but then i did the stupid thing of asking bout her ex's.

She told me she had only been with one other guy in a realationship, it lasted 6 months because he didnt treat her right, he would not show up and the thing that hurt the most was he didnt turn up for her 16th birthday party. She told me that this has left her insecure. They didnt hve sex but they did perform oral. I had no problem with this, he was after all, her byfriend at the time. Then came the shock.

She told me that 4 months before we met she had lost her virginity to a 28 year old man after a one night stand, she was only 16 at the time and so was a minor. This blew my mind, im the jealous type, i will admit to it, it bugged me for months but i kinda kept it in the back of my mind.

Everynow and then my girl would do little things that would annoy me, i never really argued over it, we never yelled or shouted at each other, i would only ever argue in a text when she wasnt near me, it was never heated only things like i dont want to see you tonight, silly things like that.

Anyhoo things happened and my jealousy would show more and more, this was my first realtionship so these emotions where all new to me too. Her 18th birthday party was coming up and we had it all planned out to a T. I was so looking forward to it. Then she tells me 2 weeks before the party that she was having 2 different ones and that i wouldnt be invited to her nite out with the girls. This made me jealous, i never let it show until we were both home and i texted her saying that i was a little annoyed. She didnt seem bothered so i texted her saying that i ju wouldnt show up to any of the parties. I later said i was sorry as i know that she was hurt before this way, i just wanted to get some kind of reaction from her, i was always planning on going.

I met with her that wednesday and told her hw sorry i was, she seemed upset but fine at the end of the night. That friday we went to the movies, i paid and she seemed a little distant, halfway through the movie she looked at me and grabed my hand, we both looked at each other for a secnd before kissing. I thought she was fine again, we went back to my car and made out for a while.

Saturday night came and we were goin to a party, she seemed distant again, but i thought nothing of it. After a while she started saying she felt sick and i offered to drive her home early. i drove her home and she didnt speak, she got out of the car with a simple bye, that was the last time i would see her...

sunday was the day it happened. I got a text saying that she couldnt handle the hurt and that she was ending it. I was shocked and confused. I phoned her and asked her why? she just told me over and over again that she had made her mind up. I started crying and begged her to change her mind, she was crying too but said it was too late, she hung up.

I tried to call her back many times that day but she wouldnt answer, it took her ages to finally text me back saying that she was sorry but it was over.

You have to understand that this was a girl who thought i was mr perfect, she loved me and wasnt afraid to show it, she asked me many times never to dump her (i wouldnt) and that i was the person she loved. She would text me and if i didnt answer within 30minutes she would text me back, text my sister and my mates to make sure i was ok.

Now i can't get her to text me back, when she does she says she wants to be friends, or that its over or she needs more time, i dont honestly know what she wants. i want her back so much but she doesnt seem bothered, i offer her to meet sh says no it will hurt her too much. ive said sorry and spent £50 on presents for her birthday which she refused to let me go too. She seems to have become a different person. She wont even talk on the phone because it hurts her too much.

She doesnt seem to care about my pain, she doesnt want to meet in the middle and its like im talking to someone else. Her friends and family dont want her to get back with me but i know deep down inside she wants it too work.

EDIT: i should point out that her reason for breakin up was because i reminded her of her ex boyfriend when i joked i wasnt goin to her party, she says all the little tiffs we have had our coming back into her head all in one go and that she can't take the hurt. She says she loves me but she doesnt want to know bout my pain or try and sort it out, she just says no.

What should i do? Im so scared that she may be gone for good. i know that if i give her time she will change her mind. I think it may come down to the stress of her A levels next month. Im so sorry for hurting her and ive told her so. What else can i do?

As a woman who has been through the same as you... I would move on. Something better is always waiting on the other side. Be single for awhile. Check out what you have been missing. Someone will come along one day and you'll fall in love again. I know that it is easier said than done but you have to move on.