[princessandthepea]

Sorry, but here’s another married man question.

I met this man at a work function just over a year ago, we got along famously - and struck up a friendship – but the attraction was obvious. I asked him if he had a wife, and he answered that regretfully he did - but that he had been unhappy for a long time. I said that that was a shame because I was very attracted to him, but could not pursue the attraction whilst he was still married.

We’ve had only minimal contact over the last 12 months and I had pretty much given up hope of anything ever happening.

Then, two months ago, he left his wife of ten years, moved out and got a place of his own - he calls me now, a couple of times a week, we have met once, kissed and made out, but at his suggestion, we’ve agreed that it's too soon for anything more (ie sex and the like, but the chemistry is still very much there). I'm somewhat relieved because I don't want to jump straight into bed with him nor do I want to be the "rebound girl". He told me that he still feels the same way - that he cares very much for me.

I've given myself a time limit of six months from when he moved out, if we haven't been out on a date by then I'm going to let go. I guess, all I’ve really wanted is the chance to date him. Is this long enough? I think it's fair, as I can't be expected to wait for him to sort his stuff out forever, but I also don't want it to happen too soon.

He has no children, and there's an 18 year age gap between us (I'm 27 and he's just turned 46). I'm still crazy about him, and although I've been dating other guys in the past year, I haven't met one that I really like. I can't help but feel hopeful, but part of me kind of knows that the odds are stacked against us in many ways.

[talaniman]

He has to have plenty of time to be able to get over his marriage, and after 10 years, 6 months may not be enough. Be flexible with the time table, and give him plenty of space to heal. The last thing he needs is to be in a relationship right now, as you said the danger is being a rebound, or crutch for him to lean on so Go Very Slow. Don't put your life on hold waiting either, that's just as bad. Keep the life that you enjoy going, and have your fun with friends. He can be part of your life when he is ready, and if you both feel the same. 100 points for not helping him cheat.