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Cherlem · Apr 29, 2007, 08:30 PM

I was trying no contact! I apparently suck at it!

It's a little more difficult today. Today is his birthday. So, I did text him "Regardless of what has happened, I hope you have a very nice birthday". And, no answer.

I then decide to call. No answer.

Then, another text and so on and so on.

Why do I do this? I know it's making things worse!

(see prior posts for backstory). I just never got to say my peace. The only explaining I got to do was at 4 am when I had been drinking. Who knows what I said?

Does this really mean he just doesn't care about me? He doesn't even respect me or the relationship to hear me out?

Ugh. Someone give me strength. Here I go trying the no contact again...

mckenzie134 · Apr 29, 2007, 08:42 PM

No Contact!! Is so hard but there's no doubt calling or texting will do you know good. Walk away and put it down as a loss this is not your fault it is hid let him see what he is missing when you are not around!! If he does miss you then he will be wanting you back and if he doesn't well then it was probably never going to really work anyway, he was probably just usingyou until something better came along...

missk · Apr 29, 2007, 09:01 PM

Girlfriend-listen to me-I have been there done that. I have done the psycho texting and calling and it gets you... NOWHERE!! If anything, you are only pushing him away. It is soooo unhealthy for you to do this-how do you feel after you call or text and he doesn't answer or call you back? Horrible I'm sure. You can't change the way he feels so stop worrying about whether he cares or respects you or not. Sounds to me like he tried to find an easy way out. He is making you feel bad about yourself to make himself feel better. Do you really want to be with him anyway? Seriously-get a piece of paper and write PROS on one side and CONS on the other-from reading your posts you can probably come up with more CONS than PROS and even if you can't one CON can outweigh two PROS. HE has you right where he wants you-seems to me he likes the chase and you are giving it to him. Is that what you want? Does that make you feel good? NO!! Be strong and stop letting yourself down. You have to talk to yourself each time you get that urge to pick up the phone or whatever. Keep that list around and read it outloud and if you really care about YOURSELF-you won't make that call. You have to really want to help yourself. Don't let yourself down. Since you aren't getting a response from him anyway-each time you feel like texting or calling-write it down on paper-if you keep doing this it will make you feel better and eventually you will realize he truly isn't worth it anyway-OR he will come around and then you will have to make a decision as to what to do-but if you don't leave him alone then you will never have that chance.

diya · Apr 30, 2007, 02:00 AM

Well, the more you show to him you want him, the more he's going to think he has that power on you. The more you text him, call him and he doesn't answer, the more he's going to love it and manipulate you even if you manage to get him back. Do you really want that Self Respect to be taken away by someone who doesn't care a damn about you anymore? I've been through this and finally realized that the moment I stopped it... he would text me back wondering what has gone wrong or where I am... Try it... and to be able to try it... u first need to be strong and have the feeling of dignity...

talaniman · Apr 30, 2007, 05:48 AM

I've been reading your whole story here, https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=1296652
And truthfully, I'm shocked beyond words, that you would even consider him relationship material. Leave him alone, and get your own life, without all this drama, that YOU have created. You do yourself a lot of harm trying to hold onto... NOTHING at all.