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MsPurrr · Apr 27, 2007, 06:13 PM

Hi Guys!

Well I have been seeing my boyfriend for almost 10 months now of which many have been turbulent. When we first got together it was great (as they always are). We had a lot in common, made each other laugh and so on. Anyway, I'm the kind of girlfriend who believes the man should not always be expected to do things, so I surprised him with a weekend at a hotel, fancy restaurants, fun days out... He loved it saying that no other girl has ever done tings like this for him and he really appreciates it. He would turn up at my house everyday without telling me he was coming so it became a habit for me to expect to come. He would drop to and from work on weekends and cook for me if I asked for food. I have been accepted into the family by all the members and even babysit his nieces when asked. Now he moans whenever I ask him to do anything for me which I think is selfish and here is why.

I am a full time student in my 3rd year doing a degree.. he crashed his first car and so he could get another I gave him £650. Then he crashed this one and he had no money to repair it and he did not want anyone to know what he did so once again I paid for the repairs costing over a grand (my student loan was used to pay for this). Then he quit his job (he now has another one) and I was supporting him on what little money I do earn a weektime so that's petrol money, food etc. When I didn't have enough money to do these things for him I would return my belongings to work in order to raise the money. I'm not silly for doing these things for him, I just that kind of person... If I can help you then I will! Anyhow, he is insensitive to my emotional needs, for example, I was stressed about an assignment and began crying in his bed one night and I was told to shut up and stop crying because he can't sleep. Other times if he doesn't get his own way he will lock me out of his house or get up and walk out on me where ever we are. Things must ALWAYS be his way regardless of the situation. His behaviour is childish at times and he is very selfish. After paying for the repairs I asked if he could take me to ikea for a new bed as I suffer with back problems and my old bed was making it worse. An argument broke out because he didn't want to go and made a fuss. When the bed came I made up most of it myself but needed help to screw the small screws (didnt have an electric screwdriver). I waited 4 hours for him to come by which time it was 11pm. Then he walked out saying that he would come back when he was ready because he didn't need me shouting in his head (for the recored I weren't shouting, there was no furniture in my room so everything echoed and after waiting for 4 hours for him to do the screws I was too patient). He has even refused to give me food when at his house because I 'don't deserve it'. Story behind that... he didn't answer his phone for 2days and nobody knew of his wareabouts. So on the second day I went round to his house (he was there in bed) to make sure he was OK. As it turned out he just wanted time alone. If he had said then cool. Anyway, he said he had not been answering his phone to ANYONE yet while I was there his phone rang and he almost broke his neck getting to it to answer it. Funny how he willing to do that considering he said he wasn't answering his phone (his mom can confirm he was not answering his phone as he didn't answer her calls either). I asked him how come he answered that call but not mine, his respone was that was the first call he had answered. I didn't believe him and an argument started. He cooked food and ate it all by the way without offering me any. I have never had food and not given him anything while knowing he was hungry so for him to do that to me was hurtful.

This entire post may seem one sided but I assure you, when we have disagreements or when he behaves in such ways I have not done anything to encourage it or winde him up. In past relationships there was never an issue of money (I feel disrepected when he upsets me as I have done so much for him) and I'm wondering if this is the issue or if other factors play a part.

Can any men out there tell me why he acts this way and what is the best way to deal with it. Am I too sensitive, should I distance myself from him or call it a day? I am quite surprised that I am actually dealing with his rubbish, as are all my friends, because I would not be classified by anyone who knows me to be weak or deal with anyone's rubbish. Some guideance would be great from you all!

Scleros · Apr 28, 2007, 10:39 PM

I haven't had many serious relationships (certainly none like this), but I'm going to respond to this because I'm amazed at all the fricking nonsense I read on this site, and with luck I'll be your reality check.