[evilloveone]

Me and my boyfriend been dating for a soon 5 years I'm 21 and he will be soon 21 and all and we are about to get married and all but one thing I don't like about him the most is we use to be very active in the sex field and know he's not that active the only thing he would want is blow jobs he don't like to go down on me and we have sex lest then once a week because I get him to do it or ill go crazy frustrated so how do I get him to get more wanting to eat me out to have sex with me and all that I don't mind giving him head because I like to do that type of thing but he just don't like giving the favor back either way so I do I get him to want to have sex with me he loves me I know that he's always showing me that he cares and loves me but just not in the sexual field so anyone can help me? I really love someone else ideas what can I do to get him to love me that way

[kp2171]

I know I've gotten "lazy" to some degree in most relationships sexually over time. Doesn't mean I don't want it... but its easy to let lifes distractions drown out the desires that you were so focused on in the beginning.

You are young enough that you shouldn't be this frustrated. A lover who isn't giving may only get worse in time, and sexual compatibility is something that should be considered more than it is.

I know it seems callous to say he's great to you but if he isn't interested in satisfying you sexually maybe its worth a second thought... but maybe it is. At least its worth a damn serious discussion.

I know, with my parter of 9 years, that if I didn't give oral and that we didn't at least try to have sex with me interested that itd be an issue. Would she leave me? no. would it be a real source of frustration? Yes. She wants a lover, not just a roommate.

In time, as we get older, things might change. But you are 21. You have a lot of sexual life in front of you. If you can say you'd be OK with things as they are or worse (as they'll likely become) then all is fine enough. If you could not imagine being satisfied with things as they are... then its time for a heart to heart.

My partner and I hit a rough spot sexually some years back. We were just both distracted at the wrong times and it seemed like we couldn't connect. We talked it out, made some efforts on both sides, and got to a better place again. Not overnight, but in a reasonable time.

So... you need to be honest with him. You need to ask for what you want. Make him tell you no. you need to try to be open to talking without being accusing at first... if he gets defensive it'll just be a fight.

All you can do is all you can do. At some point you'll see eye to eye and things will be better, or you'll realize this just isn't enough and you need more.

[smoothy]

Like was mentioned... keep this in mind before you tie the knot. Its not likely to get any better, only worse over time. It take two people to keep things exciting. You can't do it on your own.