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achingheart · Apr 23, 2007, 12:55 PM

I was with the man of my dreams for 2 years, he was my best friend and the man I new instantly I would marry one day. Our relationship was like a fairy tale. He absolutely worshiped the ground I walked on and everyone that knew us knew we were completely intertwined with each other. He got addicted to cocaine so we took some time apart (6 months) he got involved with another woman which he made clear that he was and always would be in love with me and she would never meet up to my standards. He called me at least twice a month to try to work it out but I didn't think he was ready or serious, when I finally decided to allow us to get back together we got engaged immediately. My wedding gown will be here in 2 weeks and we were on top of the world. The girl he was seeing has tried to break us up and now she claims she is pregnant with his baby. I can't have children and he excepted that but knew both of us wanted children badly. He has gone back to her because he says "it is the right thing to do" and I feel like he has taken my heart that I gave him and completely shoved it down my throat. I am still so much in love with him but I will not call him, I feel like he must be happy where he is and he left because he wanted to, now he is having all of his dreams come true with another woman and I am completely heart broken. Why would he leave the woman he supposibly loved, cherished and adored for a woman that brings him down with drugs and constantly fights with him because she is having his child? Why would he really hurt someone he loves for someone he "supposibly" doesn't, this makes me think that he must truly love her.

grammadidi · Apr 23, 2007, 04:10 PM

Originally Posted by achingheart - (my emphasis)

Why would he leave the woman he supposibly loved, cherished and adored for a woman that brings him down with drugs and constantly fights with him because she is having his child? Why would he really hurt someone he loves for someone he "supposibly" doesn't, this makes me think that he must truly love her.

He doesn't love her, and even if he did, it sure isn't because of the baby! He is with her because of his addiction. You are doing a wise thing by not contacting him. I know you are hurting, but you will hurt a lot less by realizing this and letting go now, than you would if you actually got married and then he left you. You can do a LOT better. I can tell by the way you decided to leave him be because you want him to be happy. You are a good woman.

I hope this helps, but I suspect only time will.

Hugs, Didi

kazzz · Apr 24, 2007, 09:39 AM

I was with the man of my dreams for two years,like a fairy tale,same as u.any one would who knew us would say we were perfect for each other and he worshiped the ground I walked on. Was engaged,had house,car every think we ever wanted. And same he became addicted to cocaine,we went our separate ways in January.tried to help him.didnt work.we haven't had contact for over two weeks now.
grammadidi is right, its his addiction. I have had to come to realise this,it hurts every day but as the days go on there are good positvie days where I think I don't need that in my life and better of without him,and other days where I just want him so bad.
All he wants is the cocaine,right now cociane is the love of his life.
Yeah it hurts,hurts like hell, don't know what to do with yourself, don't really ave much advice but know your not alone really your not. I ave posts in addiction (my boyfriend),might help you to read the advice that was given to me.

sinead · Apr 26, 2007, 03:26 AM

He doesn't love her. It's a baby every baby needs a daddy and he was probably broght up bo believe this. This won't last long with her she might not even be pregnant or even with his child. But he left you and if he truly loved you he would have missed you so much the last time he wouldn't have left again. Si I'm sorry but I think you should try get over him it will take ages but you can do it. Do you want to marry a man that has left you for another womwn just before your wedding what will it be like when ye are married. And I'm sorry to hear you can't have kids but there and thousands of ways of becoming pregnant and you can always adopt. Beat of luck and take care

kazzz · Apr 26, 2007, 08:38 AM

sinead. He isn't with her just because of the baby, he is with her because she makes it OK for him to do cociane because she probably does it.
I don't think it has anythink at all to do with the baby.like you said she might not even be pregnant.
He didn't leave her for another women he left her for the coke and this new woman just fits it nicely with his coke taking.
He probably resents achinheart for not fitting in with his coke habbit.
Achinheart that does mean that you should start doing that,look at how descructive he has been, you don't need to do that to your family.I thought about it,but really its not worth it.