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karma82 · Apr 19, 2007, 04:49 PM

I have been on and off with this girl for a couple months now. Before we met she broke up with a boyfriend and seems to still have some baggage from that. I have not been with her sexually in a couple of weeks because she made it clear that she wasn't ready to jump into a serious relationship yet and she knew that's where we were headed. I don't text her or call any more( trying to give her space) but we do run into each other quite often. We talk and are very friendly. She says things like, " your puppy is half mine" and "When you go on vacation I want to go to". She will sit down and eat my lunch and give me looks that make me think she wants me. We were in the middle of really getting serious till she put the brakes on. Do you guys think that she will come around? Right now I am just taking everything in and trying to get a read on her to see where she is at.

diya · Apr 19, 2007, 04:54 PM

Abide by what u're doing right now... don't rush into things or for that matter assuming could be harmful... the girl's been little apprehensive as she broke up recently... so be gentle, nice and courteious... she will come around and if she doesn't.. u will still have her as your friend till it all becomes clear from both ends... Give it time.. and patience is the key... Some girls like it little slow... they test waters before they plunge...

Marcusstorm · Apr 19, 2007, 05:06 PM

Well everyone always says that its hard to understand girls but that is a confusing situation for anyone. She may just be using her ex as an exuse because she is too scared to jump into any relationship, anytime. Maybe she's just not as ready as you are for that kind of commitment. Give her time, increase contact but don't pressure her into anything.. Goodluck

richcali · Apr 19, 2007, 05:13 PM

If it were me I think I would ask her if she just needs space yet wants to stay monogamous or does she want to see other people this should answer a lot for you. I would say that if she was in a bad relationship she may just need time to heal. She may want to be only with you but needs to not be locked down in a serious relationship until she heals.

HOWEVER

If she want to see other people then you may have a problem. There might be another that ranks high as you in her "guys I want to be with list" and wanting to go on your vacations and wanting half the pup may be signs you need to keep trying just don't smother her as she obviously needs some space. I would also say that if she is seeing some other then you need to be careful not to allow this to hurt you, stay strong and tell her that's fine you don't mind competition as you are sure she will make the right choice. Let her know you have confidence in her decision

If you are truly looking for a life partner taking time at this point will only make your relationship stronger and your choices more clear. Also keep in mind that a couple months is nothing compared to the rest of your life, take your time.

Hope it all turns out for you
richcali

talaniman · Apr 21, 2007, 08:20 AM

She is smart enough to not rush into something she is not ready for at this time, so back off and continue with a happy life without her. The last thing she needs is pressure from you, before she has dealt with her own baggage and issues. Will she come around to you? Even she can't call it yet, but its not worth waiting on a maybe. Live your own life without her as nothing more than friends for now. Pursue your own interests elsewhere.