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    Pauline Dawson's Avatar
    Pauline Dawson Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Mar 4, 2019, 11:16 AM
    He direct messages girls on social media telling them they're gorgeous, etc.
    Hi there,

    so I met this guy a year ago and we talked for about 10 months before we really went out together and eventually started dating. We're not teens by any means, just as a disclaimer from the title, as I'm 30 and he is 27. I found out that at some point in the time we had talked that he had a girlfriend, which he never told me about. By the time I'd found out, they had broken up and he was pursuing me. I let this go but kept it in the back of my mind.

    Fast forward to this past weekend, we've only been together for two months.. he had been on his phone while I studied and when I took a break I pressed the button to make the time appear because I only take them for ten minute intervals. Anyway, texts and snapchats appeared from this girl. I said nothing, continued on with my day. That night her name appears again while we're out for my girlfriend's birthday dinner. I later confronted him about it, asking who she was. Long story short, while he was with his last girlfriend he was talking to this other girl and I. He texted her things about how beautiful she was, just days in to our relationship, how sorry he was about her dog passing, asking her how her day was, all of this. Apparently he had feelings for her before as well but chose me. They also sent each other the most snapchats, according to the app. Anyway, I told him we were done, to get out of my house, etc. He cried, told me they were just friends, says he realizes what he said was flirty and so on. Deleted over 1000 accounts of skanky women or random girls he followed on instagram, deleted snapchat, both of which I never asked him to do. Bought me flowers and basically begged me to give him a second chance.

    Do I leave him? He was unbelievable and how in to me he was was very clear from the start. I don't know what to do.. thoughts? I understand people have friends of the opposite sex, I really do but telling them they're hot/gorgeous/ have amazing eyes, they're so cute etc that is not OK. Thanks for any insight!
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7692

    Mar 4, 2019, 03:26 PM
    He had a girlfriend when he meet you.
    You are now they girlfriend and he is looking for the next girlfriend.

    So you can enjoy it, till you are the next ex
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,250, Reputation: 10853

    Mar 4, 2019, 04:02 PM
    Obviously you aren't the first female to fall for his rap, and I doubt you will be the last. Time will tell, won't it. Obviously also, he isn't ready to leave and worse you aren't ready to let go, though you're probably angry and hurt with his lying by omission, and cheating.

    Let me ask if you know why he broke up with the previous girl, if you know, probably not the truth but maybe she found out about YOU, and dumped him. OR even more likely, he was ready to go, because he had someplace to go.

    Either way it ain't that great so dump him. Who needs that and let's face it... the trust has been broken and you will always be suspicious. Did he delete his account? Simple enough to start a new one. Very simple insight here, if he cheated WITH you, he will probably cheat ON you and leave when he finds a new girl who falls for his rap.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
    Ultra Member

    Mar 5, 2019, 04:49 PM
    These behaviors do not improve as time goes on. Escape now while you have little invested. Realize that you and most people deserve better than this. Don't settle for the cream in the middle. Move on.
    waltero's Avatar
    waltero Posts: 73, Reputation: 5
    Junior Member

    Mar 5, 2019, 07:32 PM
    Do you really need to ask?

    Looks as if you are just prolonging the inevitable.
    It might be best to end it before it blows up in your face.
    Ending a relationship is difficult, but the painful feelings are not permanent.

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