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Ladybuglady · Apr 8, 2018, 08:11 AM

On videos where a guy defends sister, wife etc. the "rules of combat" seem to go out the window, such as hitting someone when they're down. Is it true the rules go out the window or do I not know what the unwritten rules of guys fighting?

talaniman · Apr 8, 2018, 08:37 AM

There are no rules, and who would enforce them? Why are you even watching such videos?

Ladybuglady · Apr 8, 2018, 12:45 PM

I don't mean there's an literal rule book of fights in the same way there are rules in sports which are naturally enforceable via referees. I just mean just as you don't hit someone below the belt I assumed one doesn't hit someone when their down. Not being I guy I didn't know.

You know how YouTube switches from one thing to another when you're watching it.

OH. MY. God! Recognize me? Ladybuglady from Easter? The ? @ guys defending sisters? I thought wouldn't it be funny if the same guy happened to answer this question!

talaniman · Apr 8, 2018, 01:10 PM

Of course I remember you, I'm not THAT old and senile... YET! 8D That's why I asked why you were watching such videos about brothers defending sisters. No my dear everybody makes up their own rules when fighting. If they indeed choose to fight physically. You think a smaller guy would think twice about hitting below the belt, or grabbing a bat against a bigger, more aggressive guy? Or crack him with a board from behind? In a minute.

Ladybuglady · Apr 8, 2018, 02:36 PM

HA! I figured with as many posts you have it would be hard to remember any one person.

Well, I watched them because I wanted to see instances of brothers defending sisters, you can literally find anything on YouTube.

talaniman · Apr 8, 2018, 04:46 PM

Just a shot in the dark here, but did you just break up with a boyfriend or something? Just trying to figure out why you are so stuck on the idea of being physically defended. What's the basis of all this fear about physical harm?

Are you going to share an experiencing, or do I have to be like a dentist pulling teeth?

Alty · Apr 8, 2018, 05:11 PM

There are no rules when you're fighting. Think of it this way, fighting is assault, you can go to jail for that, so if you're mad enough to actually start a fight, risk being charged with assault, then you're obviously not clear headed enough to follow any rules, even if there were any. People who strike another human being don't usually have enough morals to follow rules anyway. If you're the one being struck by another person, and are fighting merely to defend yourself, then again no rules apply, it's do anything in order to stay alive or to avoid being seriously injured.

Ladybuglady · Apr 8, 2018, 06:47 PM

No, believe it or not I'm very independent, on my own 23 years. It's about the fact I've suppressed my feelings for the "death" of the relationship for so long, it's exploded like a volcano out of all proportion. Why, well you'd have to ask a professional on that one.

As much as I hate to admit it, maybe there's some truth in women wanting to be a damsel in distress wanting to be rescued. I've haven't been in a relationship for a long time, I know that would typically fall to the boyfriend or husband.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 8, 2018, 07:38 PM

In a real fight, (not boxing or MMA) there are no rules, You are trying to hurt or not get hurt and hair, groin, eyes, and more are the obvious areas to start with. Video and movies are just that, even TV shows like "COPS" are not real life, the bad guys and cops do not talk nice to each other.

Guns, knives and hitting them with bats, chairs are most common.

talaniman · Apr 9, 2018, 08:18 AM

Originally Posted by Ladybuglady

No, believe it or not I'm very independent, on my own 23 years. It's about the fact I've suppressed my feelings for the "death" of the relationship for so long, it's exploded like a volcano out of all proportion. Why, well you'd have to ask a professional on that one.

As much as I hate to admit it, maybe there's some truth in women wanting to be a damsel in distress wanting to be rescued. I've haven't been in a relationship for a long time, I know that would typically fall to the boyfriend or husband.

I will be blunt. What was the nature of this death of the relationship and WHEN did it happen?

Ladybuglady · Apr 9, 2018, 10:16 AM

Blunt is fine, works well for me. The relationship died once he finished college and got married, now I know marriage/wife/kids/career come first, but my impression is that it isn't supposed to mean that you completely ignore your original family to the point where multiple people in the original family (meaning it's not just my thought/feeling/impression) wonder if he would be there or care in some capacity if it came to it. After everything was over with. I recently went into the hospital and wondered if I should let him know, as he's a paramedic, and the person I was asking said no in about .00007 seconds as there were other similar incidents to where when informed him about them he had absolutely no response.Now for me to be blunt, I had told him via fb private messaging that I had both relapsed on alcohol, I'm in AA, and another time overdosed on some prescribed meds.Sorry to write a book!

talaniman · Apr 9, 2018, 11:42 AM

That's not very fair of you to put such a burden on your brother since he sees his family regularly even if it's not enough in your mind. It's his call to make so everyone has to adjust to that reality. Hard I know to accept the actions of another, or even understand when your needs are so great. Don't you have a non family confidant in your life, a sponsor, or FRIEND, you share social experiences with? I really don't think watching brothers defending sisters on YouTube is a particularly healthy way to feed an already bruised confidence crisis. That's the worst thing you could do.

Did you get back to the tables after your relapse? Are you there presently?

Ladybuglady · Apr 9, 2018, 12:35 PM

I must've not been clear as he doesn't see us regularly, 4 or so times a year for about 30 minutes.

I guess it just comes down to I miss him and he just doesn't doesn't have the energy in him to communicate with us.

Yes I have confidants and have been sharing the situation with people. Confidants/YouTube videos/ and conversations like this have helped, even talking with my therapist, whom I was already seeing before all this, this being the very accurate bruised confidence crisis.

That's probably true about watching YouTube videos!

I'm "back on the wagon".

talaniman · Apr 9, 2018, 09:34 PM

I must've not been clear as he doesn't see us regularly, 4 or so times a year for about 30 minutes.

That is regular for him even if it's not enough for you, OR your family members.

I guess it just comes down to I miss him and he just doesn't doesn't have the energy in him to communicate with us.

Or is willing to. Hard to accept from a loved one, but unhealthy to dwell on HIS choices.

Yes I have confidants and have been sharing the situation with people. Confidants/YouTube videos/ and conversations like this have helped, even talking with my therapist, whom I was already seeing before all this, this being the very accurate bruised confidence crisis.

I sympathize greatly, but what's your plan to get ANY employment to pay your bills?

That's probably true about watching YouTube video

PROBABLY? What useful purpose can the way you are using them serve?

I'm "back on the wagon".

Now that's great news but the question was are you attending the meetings and advantaging a sponsor and the help and support of your fellow alcoholics and addicts who are clean and sober?