[Kiki7]

I'm beginning to resent the man I have been dating - for four years, living with for 2) not only because he hasn't made any definitive moves to resolve his financially depleting, dysfunctional relationship with his ex wife, but also because he seems very ungenerous (cheap) often allowing others to pick up the proverbial "tab" when etiquette would ask he contribute.

While he comes off as Mr. Nice Guy, I couldn't help but notice that when he took me to meet a dozen of his oldest and best friends, for tapas and drinks in the city, he slipped out of contributing anything to the tab.

Fast forward a year - he's relocated to live with me. My birthday rolled around, and we went out to dinner with my friends. Much to my chagrin he allowed THEM to pay for everything!

Wait there's more; when I got my masters degree last summer, I picked up the tab for my own graduation party - he said he wanted to "pay me back" which only made it more cringe worthy, and worse, he never did.

Most recently, I suffered a serious injury and had to seek out a specialist, across the country. I left at the beginning of the summer and would be gone for two months while receiving an expensive over - 10,000 - surgery. During that time he would have our apartment to himself along with flying his sons and their friends over to stay, while I was gone.
I paid several thousand dollars in rent on our apartment that I would not be staying in - while also paying for airline tickets, hotels and medical bills. He used the apartment to house himself, his kids and their friends for the summer. My boyfriend did not even think to offer me help which could have been partial coverage of the rent I paid, for our apartment in my absence.

This just doesn't sit right with me - in fact I'm furious.

On top of it, as mentioned in the title, my partner is still married to a woman he refers to as "psycho from hell" for whom he rents a house - in his defense, he does also pay an exorbitant amount of child support.

Call me a princess, but I'm sick of this and expect and deserve more.

[Wondergirl]

I'm sick of this and expect and deserve more.

I agree with you -- I'd be sick of this. I know what I would do about it. What are you going to do about it?

[smoothy]

Four Year Live In Boyfriend Still Married to and Supporting his Estranged Ex.

Hate to break this to you.. but if he's still married to her, she's not his ex yet.

Going to be a bit blunt here because this big point has appeared to not have been stressed enough.

You knew he was married the last 4 years... you knew he was married before you moved in together. What did you actually think was going to happen? One does not simply cease to be married overnight even if steps were taken.

Honestly, this whole mess is as much your fault as it is his. Plenty of blame to go around here.

[talaniman]

You shouldn't be mad at him without being even madder at yourself for wasting 4 years on a married freeloader. Bet he isn't mad AT ALL! So now what? He could do this forever sugar mama babe, and why change when he has a good thing going?

[joypulv]

Ditto, ditto, and ditto! You don't even ask us a question.
You are sick of it.
You expect more.
You deserve more.
SO????
You might have to formally evict, so get started. And mean it.

[ma0641]

1. This just doesn't sit right with me - in fact I'm furious. AND????

I'd be next in line if I wasn't married, sounds like a very sweet deal. You knew he was married yet allowed yourself to be USED. OUR apartment? Sounds like YOUR apartment if you are paying all the bills. You are his Sugar Momma!! Get rid of him! Don't waste any more time on him.

[tickle]

Ditto. What is your question ? How to get out of it probably?

You are actually a sitting duck until you walk out.

[Fr_Chuck]

Leave him, he is still with the other women except in bed.