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    Nothingless's Avatar
    Nothingless Posts: 51, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Apr 25, 2017, 11:48 AM
    Parents want my password for face book
    My mum is demanding that I give her my password to my face book account. I haven't given it to her because I feel that I shouldn't have to. I don't have anything to hide but there are conversations in my messages I don't want her to read. She's not very happy with me, I've been grounded until I give it to her. Should I just give it to her? I don't really want to but I'm not to sure how to talk to her to change her mind any suggestions?
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #2

    Apr 25, 2017, 12:04 PM
    Here's the deal: children have to do whatever their parents say, unless it involves physical abuse or some sort of deprivation, such as starving. Given that I doubt you pay for your monthly internet bill, nor the computer or phone you use, all they have to do is take all that away from you.

    You aren't being fair to US. You were in terrible distress and crying about your fears of having to be around your uncle, and we all urged you to TELL your mother.
    Now, without a peep about what happened, you are here on a different topic.
    So please, help us out here.
    Nothingless's Avatar
    Nothingless Posts: 51, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    Apr 25, 2017, 12:24 PM
    Ok I just thought maybe I could change her mind. I haven't said anything to her yet or wrote her a letter I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I'm just trying to work things out with my mum so she can stop stressing out. I don't want to hide my Facebook from her I don't really care it's just my messages I don't want her to read.

    I'm sorry if you feel I'm being unfair, I just haven't decided what I'm going to do and I don't have to go there now mum is staying home so I feel releived and not so stressed about it. I just need to get my mum to stop what ever she is doing .
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,829, Reputation: 5427
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    #4

    Apr 25, 2017, 12:44 PM
    Maybe print out the thread about your upset and your uncle? And members' advice? Give all that to her to read.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #5

    Apr 25, 2017, 01:06 PM
    OK, we can handle it, we are a whole bunch of random people. What about what your mother is going through? She is probably very worried, knowing something, afraid to let it show too much, but really needing to know because she sort of 'knows' but isn't sure what!

    Doesn't it make sense to tell her BEFORE you get into what she has a right to your password? You say you 'just need to get my mum to stop' but really, she is showing remarkable restraint. She could just take your computer to a store and have them get into all of it. She's only doing this because she doesn't KNOW what's going on!
    Nothingless's Avatar
    Nothingless Posts: 51, Reputation: 2
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    #6

    Apr 25, 2017, 01:22 PM
    I understand how she's feeling maybe what's she's thinking. I get it and I feel for her I don't want her to stress out and I'm not doing anything for her to. Her getting my password will only stress her out more if she reads my messages and I'm not ready for her to know anything.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,829, Reputation: 5427
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    #7

    Apr 25, 2017, 01:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Nothingless View Post
    I understand how she's feeling maybe what's she's thinking. I get it and I feel for her I don't want her to stress out and I'm not doing anything for her to. Her getting my password will only stress her out more if she reads my messages and I'm not ready for her to know anything.
    Is the uncle stuff in your Fb messages? Or something else?
    Nothingless's Avatar
    Nothingless Posts: 51, Reputation: 2
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    #8

    Apr 25, 2017, 01:39 PM
    Yes he sent me some disgusting messages and I don't know how to delet them and I don't want my mum yo see them
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #9

    Apr 25, 2017, 02:27 PM
    Oh... I see now. Sorry. This just keeps revealing itself to be tougher and tougher on you and your parents.
    But I still think that telling her is best, all of it, even the messages.

    Otherwise this creep is controlling both of you from the past. It will be painful, but it should be done. Get it over with.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #10

    Apr 25, 2017, 02:29 PM
    Do not delete them. They are evidence.

    Show them to your mother or let her find them. It would be one way to bring up the topic.

    Frankly, I understand that you are concerned about what she will say. That is a normal fear. It is also normal to fear the unknown. You can get rid of the fear by confronting it. Turn the unknown into a known. Tell your mother and end the fear.

    I am afraid that you will stay silent. Your mother will stay home for a month or two. Then something will come up and your mother will go with your father and send you to your uncle's house. Your uncle will be worse because he has been denied his games for longer than usual and won't know when he will get another chance.

    Please, tell her or another adult you trust who can be there for you when you tell her. Please protect yourself from the known predator.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,829, Reputation: 5427
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    #11

    Apr 25, 2017, 02:41 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Nothingless View Post
    Yes he sent me some disgusting messages and I don't know how to delet them and I don't want my mum yo see them
    Like Cat1864 said above, this is evidence, and exactly what your mother needs to see, especially to realize you are not a liar.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,051, Reputation: 10852
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    #12

    Apr 25, 2017, 03:10 PM
    I'm sorry but you are jut delaying the inevitable and all your delays are making things much worse for you and your family and you can start putting an end to this just by getting some courage and being HONEST.

    You just don't realize how important that is.
    Nothingless's Avatar
    Nothingless Posts: 51, Reputation: 2
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    #13

    Apr 25, 2017, 05:15 PM
    She's not going to know who sent them to me it's a fake profile. I know who it is because of the things he's said in the messages and the photos. If she reads them I don't know what she will think but it wouldn't be good, about me I mean.

    I just thought maybe there was something I could say to convince her to change her mind. I don't understand why all of a sudden everything has changed I'm relieved I don't have to go to his house for now. I don't understand why my parents are being so full on. I don't want to even think about it I cant deal with this anymore
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7691
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    #14

    Apr 25, 2017, 05:17 PM
    With my children it was easy, give me the password or your computer is gone, you have no Facebook account.

    Why your mom has not banned you, for not obeying her is beyond me.

    You give it to her, and be glad you are allowed to have it
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,829, Reputation: 5427
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    #15

    Apr 25, 2017, 05:21 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Nothingless View Post
    She's not going to know who sent them to me it's a fake profile
    When she asks who sent those messages, tell her who it really is. Or, are your messages to him also what you don't want her to read?
    Nothingless's Avatar
    Nothingless Posts: 51, Reputation: 2
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    #16

    Apr 25, 2017, 05:32 PM
    No I don't have a problem with my messages except that I use some words that she wouldn't like. It doesn't matter anymore maybe I should just give it to her I don't really care
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,829, Reputation: 5427
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    #17

    Apr 25, 2017, 05:37 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Nothingless View Post
    No I don't have a problem with my messages except that I use some words that she wouldn't like. It doesn't matter anymore maybe I should just give it to her I don't really care
    I vote for giving her the password.
    teacherjenn4's Avatar
    teacherjenn4 Posts: 3,998, Reputation: 468
    Education Expert
     
    #18

    Apr 25, 2017, 05:58 PM
    When my kids were teens, I monitored their computer use. They didn't have Facebook because I didn't want them to have it. If you don't give her your password, she could make you delete your account, or limit your internet use.
    Nothingless's Avatar
    Nothingless Posts: 51, Reputation: 2
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    #19

    Apr 25, 2017, 06:16 PM
    You can delete your face book? How do you do that I've had a look but don't know where toblook?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,829, Reputation: 5427
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    #20

    Apr 25, 2017, 06:21 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Nothingless View Post
    You can delete your face book? How do you do that I've had a look but don't know where to look?
    Even if your account is deleted (you can't do it yourself), someone (e.g., your uncle) will still have messages from you. That information remains.

    And like someone here has said, there's a good chance you'll be sent to your uncle's again. Then what?

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