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    superstar18's Avatar
    superstar18 Posts: 380, Reputation: 5
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    #1

    Apr 15, 2017, 09:49 PM
    BF questions about dates
    All right guys so my friends and I were talking the other day about if your BF says he's taking you out should you have to contribute some money or should he pay for all of it? My friends and I agree that we shouldn't have to pay for it because he says he's taking you out but if he's just like let's go get food or something then that's different and should help pay. But our bfs don't agree with us at all. What do you guys think about this?
    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
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    #2

    Apr 16, 2017, 12:37 AM
    If he invites you on a date, he pays. If you are in an ongoingbrelstionship.though, you shouox discuss expectations around money. Most young guys today csnnot afford.to always pay.

    Yoy may want to come up with an agreement about this to prevent.future arguments such as that you will presume you are splitting the bill unlrzs the person asking says "my treat" as part of the invitation.

    At the same time, it is OK if you wan a boyfriend.to.pay for dates.like traditional relationships. Ic you are lookibg for a.partner.who.will.work and supportyou so youcan stay home.rSi g your eventual.kids, that is perfectly honorable. A date who pays regularly demonstrates a willingness and desire to be the provider

    But if.someone doesn't want to treat; they do not owe you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,273, Reputation: 10853
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    #3

    Apr 16, 2017, 04:24 AM
    If he is your boyfriend then you work together to define the relationship and how things are done. Talk about it and see what you can come up with that you both feel is fair and works so you both can have fun and feel good about your decisions and actions.

    A couple make their own rules about how things will go. Casual dating is a bit different but it's understood that the asker pays but the askee can contribute whatever they deem fair. Again you talk and workout the details.

    If a couple or two people cannot meet agreement there isn't much point in going any further is there?
    superstar18's Avatar
    superstar18 Posts: 380, Reputation: 5
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    #4

    Apr 16, 2017, 07:42 AM
    That's true! It just didn't make any sense to me because he said I'm taking you out and then later he changed his mind saying that he just wanted to get food and I'm like well you should have said it that way instead of I'm taking you out. So I was confused. He should have worded it better in my understanding. I was trying to explain to him that taking me out is like a date you pay for it and he's just like I don't know where you heard that from. He just got my hopes up a little because we haven't been out for awhile and thought it was nice that he was going to treat me. But we did discuss what are the right words to say when it comes to that.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,792, Reputation: 2604
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    #5

    Apr 16, 2017, 09:53 AM
    If a guy ask you out or says he's taking you out, he usually pays. If you guys are just going out and you have been dating a while, you should either split the bill or take turns paying.
    superstar18's Avatar
    superstar18 Posts: 380, Reputation: 5
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    #6

    Apr 16, 2017, 02:09 PM
    Yeah that's what I thought as well. Like I don't have a problem with paying at all it's just that if you offer to take someone out that means they should pay for it. He should have said like we will split the bill or we will pay for our own food instead of saying I'm taking you out.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,273, Reputation: 10853
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    #7

    Apr 17, 2017, 09:24 PM
    Yes he should have. That would have been honest. Most misunderstandings and conflicts start when people are less than honest.

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