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    Nancy Drew 197's Avatar
    Nancy Drew 197 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Dec 3, 2016, 09:57 PM
    Extremely URGENT please help!
    It all started when my boyfriend asked me for an objectionable picture of mine to send him. I didn't answer him of that as he stopped chatting with me earlier

    After sending my objectionable photo (I sent him with lesser clothes as he asked) he started to increase his requirements of my picture (Like half nude photo). I refused him instantly. Then after few days He sent his raw photo and stopped chatting even replying me. Though he knew I only sent the picture to make him happy.

    After one and half months he started chatting again. And after a very long time I for some reason wanted to end the so called affair and blocked him in a social media. He instantly noticed that and in another social media (what's app) he sent his full raw photograph and asked for mine. I said OK I will if I only get assurance he won't do the heinous behaviour as he did before (I mentioned here). He answered not to look back and said calmly "I won't do it". He also added he never wanted to stop chatting earlier, but he was very busy with some of his office works.

    He even didn't ask me for the reason of blocking him as if he knew this was going to happened one day. Instead of asking he just sent his nude picture as if all he wanted me to see his raw photo.

    I became overwhelmed to see his raw photograph and wanted him to chat with me. But there was only one thing to make him chat with me that is to give him the hope that I would send him my objectionable photo.

    So the very next day when he asked me to send my photo I replied in affirmative. Then by himself he said that he would send his raw video if I send my photo and made a deal with me, but later that day I confessed him that I am not interested to obey him based on his previous behavior. (I mentioned here) Then he said "bye I am busy now"
    At least he could have told sorry and give a full assurance not to do it any further.

    Anyway our chat ended for that day (I thought) cause everybody knows that who would want to chat with him after that (after asking about his fault and he ending chat without being sorry), though he showed everything between us was mostly physical but still I felt hurt upon his behaviour. At my utter astonishment that night he sent his raw video without any prior conversation! And after few minutes he asked me to watch it late at night!

    I thought that he knows my last word about my photograph. He sent the video on his own. I didn't ask him to send. So I watched the video on the very next day. He was very eager and exited to hear my comments after watching. And later on that day he chatted with me about his video and didn't ask about my photo, but something told me that he would ask very soon. And After few days he started chatting like.. I am impossible for not sending him my picture etc.etc.

    Then I replied in affirmative that I will try to send. And we both ended chat as we were in our respective workplace that time. (He in office and me in university) Later that day he told me about his upcoming birthday which was only few days later. I replied him (cause I always love to chat with him) after few conversations he was being impatient for my photo. Then I didn't replied him. After few minutes again he asked that politely as always. Then I told him with courage if "I can't get assurance I won't send it"

    Hearing this he pretended not getting the meaning of assurance about which thing. And told I cheated him again as I did last time. But last time I didn't cheat him. Not even this time because everyone knows nobody wants to have that heinous behaviour, feeling and mental state which he gave me in the past. Besides if he would give assurance I would have sent the picture.

    Then he said in exact words " you have crossed the line this time n u have to pay for it". He further added he sent his video as per deal, I disappointed him a lot . Then I reminded him about the past behaviour of his. He said "OK thanks
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 38,230, Reputation: 5430
    Jobs & Parenting Expert

    Dec 3, 2016, 10:08 PM
    What's your question?
    Nancy Drew 197's Avatar
    Nancy Drew 197 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Dec 3, 2016, 10:45 PM
    So now can you guys please Help me to get out of this (I want to end this forever and also forget it) and can you please say that what he meant by "You will have to pay for this" . Did he just say this in anger or he is really going to do some harm to me.

    For some reason this part didn't appear .

    Then he said in exact words " you have crossed the line this time n u have to pay for it"
    He further added he sent his video as per deal , I disappointed him a lot . Then I reminded him about the past behaviour of his. He said "OK thanks

    he said " you win I loose cheers " and went offline
    Still asked him to speak clearly if he can give assurance or not . But he was not online still he can check my chats I know he could have answered me . (cause that's what happened in what's app that we were using) but didn't come online. Then after few minutes I blocked him for not answering me and for not being online.
    So that's the saddest happening happened with me. I always loved to chat with him (I don't know about him ). He sure said he likes me but I didn't confess this and he didn't even ask me for that.
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
    Uber Member

    Dec 4, 2016, 06:28 AM
    I didn't read your entire post at first, as once I got to the parts of him pressuring you to send objectionable (your word) pictures, it would be time to drop this guy.

    If you say no, and he continues to pressure you for something that you are not comfortable with, he is not someone who respects you. Why would you want a boyfriend like that?

    He thinks more of what he wants, even when you have made it abundantly clear how uncomfortable you are with this situation.

    He was right about one thing, end all future contact with him, and you do win! Then you will be free to meet someone who actually does care about you and your feelings.

    If you're looking for advice, I'd say don't try to contact him again, do not respond to any of his attempts to contact you; let it end. Most of all, learn some lessons from this situation to avoid repeating similar situations in the future.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,801, Reputation: 2674

    Dec 4, 2016, 06:45 AM
    You must be desperate for a boyfriend if you went through this with someone on line ! You should never ever put yourself in a position to have to deny and deny showing any part of your body, partially clothed or not.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,318, Reputation: 10854

    Dec 4, 2016, 07:27 AM
    I find it insane that you keep going through this because you like to chat with this dude! You must love dumb drama because most would have blocked and rejected this fool totally and moved on too much better things.

    Cut him from your life and ask yourself why you are doing this to YOURSELF?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 38,230, Reputation: 5430
    Jobs & Parenting Expert

    Dec 4, 2016, 09:47 AM
    I agree with the others who answered you. AND do NOT apologize to him, do NOT try to explain to him, do NOT try to slide out of this online "relationship" by worrying about his feelings. Do NOT be a pleaser!! Never contact him, never speak to him again, BLOCK him.

    And be very careful in the future!
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
    Uber Member

    Dec 4, 2016, 01:46 PM
    Ahhh, didn't even see it was an online thing. Please realize that it is almost guaranteed that he is having this same sort of relationship with other girls. There are guys, of various ages, that spend much of their time chatting up girls, and women, just to gain some semblance of trust then collecting pictures and videos that these girls and women either willingly send or send after being persuaded to do so.

    The old lines of trying to make you feel guilty, or that you might lose the guy, are so commonly used.

    Count yourself lucky for not falling for anything more. It can be a hard lesson to learn, because he's played on your emotions, and it will take a little time to fully realize the methods he used to persuade you.

    The last thing I'll suggest , think about what you would say to your sister or best friend if she were in a similar situation? Then follow your own advice, and that of everyone else who responded.

    I wish you well.....
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert

    Dec 4, 2016, 03:16 PM
    I would bet that there are many other girls that are sending him pictures, and who he's sending his video to. He likes porn, and wants you to provide him with some. I would bet that he shows his friends the pictures and videos he gets from the girls stupid enough to send them to him.

    You don't like this behavior, but even though he's behaved this way time and time and time and time again, you keep going back expecting him to change his behavior, then you're shocked when he acts the way he's always acted.

    It's like petting a bear over and over and every time you pet him, he bites you, but you keep petting him hoping that this time he won't bite you, even though he's shown you over and over again that that's what he's going to do.

    At this point it is your fault for allowing him to treat you like this. He won't change, but you can, and the first thing you have to do is block him, and mean it. No more contact, ever! Let him find another girl that will give him the porn he wants.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7692

    Dec 4, 2016, 03:48 PM
    Is this just purely online ? If so, expect those naked photos to be shared with other web sites and for sure his friends.

    Get a real boyfriend, that is in person.
    Next why would anyone lower theirself to the level of having to show naked photos to keep a "boyfriend". That is not far from selling it, but you are just being paid their attention.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member

    Dec 4, 2016, 05:28 PM
    Unless you like the drama, simply ignore and block him... refuse to communicate with him further.

    Once you send ANY reveling photos to someone you no longer have ANY control where they end up.
    Nancy Drew 197's Avatar
    Nancy Drew 197 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Dec 4, 2016, 06:25 PM
    Thank you guys for your answers.

    Actually what I wrote here is long story shortest version. Only mentioned here the most and only most important things.But it should be also added that its not only and merely online thing.That guy happens to be my cousin ! {in Islam (our) religion cousins are allowed for marriage}

    He became my boyfriend by collecting my mobile phone number and he was the first between us to start chat and take the first step towards this relation and to get me trapped in this.

    He is extremely handsome. Any one may fall for him.Even his voice is extraordinary.
    Thus I couldn't resist myself to be his girlfriend.and its also included that our respective families don't have any idea about this.
    So its not merely online thing.

    I can only block him on social medias (that's the most I can do) but ultimately have to meet him.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert

    Dec 4, 2016, 06:39 PM
    Your post was exhausting. You will send, you won't send, you agree, you don't, you block, you unblock.
    You 'have to meet him' - why? Because he's your cousin and someday your families will get together for an event?

    Many Muslim women come to this site and cry bitter tears about being suddenly dumped by men, who use the reasoning that the woman is worthless after HE sweet talked her into getting intimate!
    Maybe that won't happen with your cousin, but beware anyway.
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
    Uber Member

    Dec 6, 2016, 05:05 PM
    You can't trust him, he doesn't respect you, he's not worth being your boyfriend. Being your cousin is irrelevant . Tell him that you are no longer interested. Ignore him at family gatherings. If anyone asks why, simply say that he was disrespectful to you. No further explanation is needed.

    You already know what he is like, so don't allow any opportunity for further drama. If you can't seem to let him go, then you can expect more of the same treatment. It really is up to you whether it continues.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member

    Dec 6, 2016, 05:19 PM
    I have some VERY good Muslim friends (Afghan specifically in this case)... even though they have an arranged marriage... they get to make comments and tell their parents about problems BEFORE they get married. Just because someone looks nice is the worst reason to get married there is. Beauty is skin deep... (and it fades) but ugly goes right to the bone.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,318, Reputation: 10854

    Dec 6, 2016, 05:33 PM
    It doesn't matter what he does, or who he is, or whether he is marriage material or not. All that matters is you safe guard your own dignity and self respect.

    No excuses!
    abbyoscar77's Avatar
    abbyoscar77 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Dec 6, 2016, 08:38 PM
    If you don't want to do something, don't! Block him immediately and just forget about it. If he gets a new number and calls you or texts you simply block it again. Ugly goes to the bone but beauty doesn't. Remember that!

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