[snowlady]

I have worked here for just over 1 year. From day one there was one individual who did not like me. Two months after I started there the boss called this individual and myself for a conference where the individual stated that he hated me from the day I started and always would. Things have digressed fron there.

The individual who was supposed to train me was bored with telling me things as she has been there over 10 years and everything is routine to her. Therefore I got half of the information I needed to perform a task and then was reprimanded if I did it incorrectly.

Lately, everything I've done has been scrutinized.

The boss told me several months ago that I just didn't fit. That I am too nice.

Everyone in the office is younger than I am. There is no professionalism. One of their predominate forms of fun is "potty talk" directed at each other, which I find juvenile and offensive.

I have been told, by the boss , that I have to change the way my personality reacts to clients. That my background is to diverse and I get too involved with the clients. That I am not to be friendly and pleasant, but rather "to the point" and basic. That even asking what to relay to another in the office, in the event of their absence is too involved. Name and phone number, period.

I sit three feet from my co-worker and she does not speak to me for the eight hours a day that we work together unless it is to upbraid me because I did not do something or to tell me "telephone" if I was on another line when the call came in for me.

The boss occasionally will engage in small talk with me, but the other seven people do not speak with me unless it is directly related to work.

I was shunned so badly in the lunch room the first 3 days I worked that I began to eat lunch at my desk.

Even in monthly staff meetings, if I comment on something being discussed, it is ignored, as if I am not in the room.

I dread going in to work everyday. I have had daily migraines for the last 3 months.

Would this qualify as a hostile work environment, and do I have any recourse? I live in a small rural area and there have been major unemployment situations in the last 2 years, so the job opportunities are very limited.

My husband was recently put on disability from his job, because of a major neurological surgery, and I desperately need a job.

I just don't know what to do. Can anyone give me some perspective?

Thank you.

[froggy7]

I'm not sure that I would say it's a hostile work environment. I'd say it was more of personality mismatch than anything else. It doesn't sound like they are doing things to you that they aren't to everyone else, it's just that you don't like the way that they do things. So, what can you do? There's only two things that I can think of. Either find another job, or acknowledge that the issue is with you. If you try and alter your behavior to fit in better with the established atmosphere, people might warm up to you. It's hard for them to be friendly to someone who finds their form of fun "juvenile and offensive". Or you might try convincing yourself that these people will never be your friends, and try to do things the way everyone else does. Personally, I'd be looking for another job that fit my personality and work ethics better as well.

[snowlady]

This is a reply to froggy. While I appreciate that you took the time to respond to my question,. I'm not sure that you fully understand ,or perhaps I didn't explain fully enough the situation I have endured.

First, I certainly have never said to my co-workers that I find their sense of humor juvenile and offensive.

Secondly, my stress levels are such that I am experiencing migraines on a daily basis and trouble sleeping at night.

Thirdly, I beg to differ that it is only MY personality. I failed to mention in my question that in the 12 years my co-worker has been at this job, there have been 23 people hired to fill the position I now hold. I am about to become number 24 who has left.

[froggy7]

The boss told me several months ago that I just didn't fit. That I am too nice.

Everyone in the office is younger than I am. There is no professionalism. One of their predominate forms of fun is "potty talk" directed at each other, which I find juvenile and offensive.

Ok, you may not have told them that you find them juvenile and offensive, but do you really think that they aren't picking up on this? You wrote it, not me. It doesn't sound like a place I would like to work, and it appears that many other people don't want to work there either. But that is not, in itself, enough to make it a hostile work environment, in my book. Unpleasant, unfriendly, sure. But apparently 7 other people have no issues with it, and may even like it that way.

In case your curious, here's the definition of harassing speech:
Speech can be punished as workplace harassment if it's
"severe or pervasive" enough to
Create a "hostile or abusive work environment"
Based on race, religion, sex, national origin, age, disability, veteran status, or, in some jurisdictions, sexual orientation, political affiliation, citizenship status, marital status, or personal appearance,
For the plaintiff and for a reasonable person.

So the first thing to settle is whether the environment is negative based on one of the listed categories, and the second is whether a reasonable person would agree with you.

And, let's assume for a minute that it is in fact a hostile work environment, and you decide to take them to court. What exactly do you want to get out of that? Money? The right to continue working with these people? Because even if the court finds in your favor, it's highly unlikely that 7 people who have apparently been acting this way for some time are going to change their behavior. And even if you win a monetary settlement, you are still going to have to collect it, and that may take years.

Sometimes that best thing to do is to cut your losses and chalk things up to a learning experience. But I am not a lawyer, and it may be that you have a case.