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    Hunnybee_420's Avatar
    Hunnybee_420 Posts: 43, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 22, 2016, 07:12 AM
    Husband to blow our savings. Desperate
    So my husband I have been together for over ten years now and things have gotten quite rocky. I still want to work it out but he seems unwillingly. However he plans to leave in a week for three and spend half of our savings on some desolate property his mom unloaded on him against my wishes (and better judgement) and pretty sure he's going to want a divorce when he gets back. How can he get away with blowing half our money and then throwing me on the street? He's going to fight for everything we have (house.. cars etc) Again I'm still hoping we can work it out but what's going to happen and what should I do to protect myself and not get stuck with half of half? It doesn't seem legal and it's definitely not right.. please help asap.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #2

    Jun 22, 2016, 09:06 AM
    He can't 'throw you on the street' and take the house.
    How the cash and cars are divided will depend.
    Talk to 2 or 3 divorce lawyers on the phone to ask what they charge and to outline the story.

    If the savings are in his name, you could be out of luck without an immediate visit with a lawyer.
    You can go to the bank and open a new account in your name and put half there, assuming the savings are in both your names.
    Gather all papers re the house, cars, and bank accounts.
    The more organized you are, the less it should cost.
    If you want, tell us whose name(s) each is in.
    Hunnybee_420's Avatar
    Hunnybee_420 Posts: 43, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jun 22, 2016, 11:04 AM
    Everything is in both our names. Thanks for your reply.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,318, Reputation: 10854
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    #4

    Jun 22, 2016, 12:33 PM
    It's really simple while you hope for the best and reconcile, you must plan for the worst and protect yourself by having a very excellent legal expert at your beck and call that will work for YOUR interests on YOUR behalf.

    Not only can they make you aware of YOUR legal rights, but guide you to the best ways to Cover Your Own Arse against a spouse who doesn't seem to get your concerns.

    So start talking to a (Divorce) lawyer. The sooner the better. Why would you let him do things entirely his way?
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #5

    Jun 22, 2016, 01:36 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Hunnybee_420 View Post
    It doesn't seem legal and it's definitely not right.. please help asap.
    Actually its quite legal. In a normal bank account, jointly owned, each owner has the right to access the funds without the other's consent. However, dependent on the investment vehicle your savings are in, it might require both owner's signatures to withdraw or liquidate the account.

    As the others have noted. You have to take a positive action to protect your interests. It is possible that you can register your opposition to using your half of the money so that, the use of the money comes from his share of the property not both of you. But you do need legal advice to know how to protect yourself. Laws vary and we don't know whether you are in a Community Property state or not. If you are, moving the money doesn't protect it from him, it just protects it from his using it without your permission.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #6

    Jun 22, 2016, 02:39 PM
    I'm not a legal expert, but here's how I see it.

    You're still married, you haven't legally separated or filed for divorce according to what you wrote. The assets, bank accounts, etc. are in both of your names, that means that you both can access whatever you need without the permission of the other spouse. In other words, if he wants to drain your savings, he can. So can you. Unless you have an account where both of you need to sign to take out a large sum of money, it's accessible to both of you any time you want to spend it.

    My Uncle went through something like this. After years of working while his wife sat at home doing nothing, he accumulated over $100,000 in savings. One day he took a few of his fellow co-workers to lunch, went to pay the bill and was told there were insufficient funds from his savings account.

    Turns out that his wife had a gambling issue and spent all of their savings playing Bingo and losing. She had been doing it for years and he never knew. That lunch date was the first time he had ever tried to pay via his savings, or even checked his savings, in over 5 years. He never did because he figured it was where he put it.

    They separated for a while and then reconciled. But had they divorced, he would have had no legal claim to the money she gambled away, because the account was in both their names.

    It sounds like divorce is imminent. You need to talk to a lawyer and find out what rights, if any, you have to stop him from spending your combined life savings before the divorce.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #7

    Jun 22, 2016, 02:52 PM
    Location: ND.
    Not a community property state.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #8

    Jun 22, 2016, 02:57 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Hunnybee_420 View Post
    Everything is in both our names. Thanks for your reply.
    Even cars? Be very sure you make copies of everything. Not a copy of a title to a car in your name. IRAs, life insurance, pension plans, anything.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7692
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    #9

    Jun 23, 2016, 03:53 AM
    You can of course, just go there, take all the money out, and hold on to it.
    AK lawyer's Avatar
    AK lawyer Posts: 12,592, Reputation: 977
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    #10

    Jun 23, 2016, 03:37 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    You can of course, just go there, take all the money out, and hold on to it.
    That's what I was going to suggest. Transfer all jointly-owned property to your name before he has a chance to take it. This would include not only bank accounts but automobiles, etc. as well.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #11

    Jun 23, 2016, 04:10 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by AK lawyer View Post
    That's what I was going to suggest. Transfer all jointly-owned property to your name before he has a chance to take it. This would include not only bank accounts but automobiles, etc. as well.
    I learn more and more each day. My husband and I have been married 21 years. All our assets are jointly owned. The house, our cars, the trailer, bank accounts, you name it.

    So I have to ask, if an account is jointly owned, meaning both of you have to sign off on it, how do you transfer all of it and put it in your name in a legal way, especially with actual property like a home or vehicles?

    I can see taking money out of a joint account, but transferring the home and vehicles to only your name, without his consent? How?
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,701, Reputation: 1438
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    #12

    Jun 24, 2016, 01:45 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    I learn more and more each day. My husband and I have been married 21 years. All our assets are jointly owned. The house, our cars, the trailer, bank accounts, you name it.

    So I have to ask, if an account is jointly owned, meaning both of you have to sign off on it, how do you transfer all of it and put it in your name in a legal way, especially with actual property like a home or vehicles?

    I can see taking money out of a joint account, but transferring the home and vehicles to only your name, without his consent? How?

    Mostly it is about wording. Example if something states "or" for the parties involved then anyone can do it from one side as it only takes one to do it. What most people consider as joint has a very specific meaning attached to it.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #13

    Jun 25, 2016, 02:53 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by cdad View Post
    Mostly it is about wording. Example if something states "or" for the parties involved then anyone can do it from one side as it only takes one to do it. What most people consider as joint has a very specific meaning attached to it.
    So having everything jointly owned doesn't protect you at all?

    Thankfully I'm not worried about that, but for those that are married and considering divorce, they're not protected if they jointly own all their assets? It would be simple to just steal everything from the other and leave one person with nothing?

    Why even both owning things jointly then?
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #14

    Jun 26, 2016, 05:55 AM
    It's not that simple. There is a paper trail of the assets so one spouse can't make the assets completely disappear. So in the divorce settlement those assets have to be considered.

    Owning jointly helps with estate planning. It's a lot easier to transfer assets in case of death.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,701, Reputation: 1438
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    #15

    Jun 26, 2016, 06:00 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    So having everything jointly owned doesn't protect you at all?

    Thankfully I'm not worried about that, but for those that are married and considering divorce, they're not protected if they jointly own all their assets? It would be simple to just steal everything from the other and leave one person with nothing?

    Why even both owning things jointly then?
    Like I had said. It is about wording. Using or as an example then both parties can act independent. Using and as an example then both parties would have to agree and be present in the transaction. When it comes to bank accounts most fall under the or example. Housing and other properties like cars can fall under a different category. Also the law provides for some protections and it varies by location. Just because someone is not in the workforce doesn't mean they aren't entitled to the proceeds from the one working in a state of marriage. Assets are another highly variable part of things. In some places when someone marries another then the assets have no distinction and are granted 1/2 to both parties. In other places preexisting assets can be held separate. Local law will determine what applies to the specific situation.

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