[Slazeus]

So I've recently been back in contact with a friend from school (a girl) whom I've liked since then, we had a small catch up over text. A week later I got a call from her late at night, she'd had a few drinks and had gotten lost in Aberdeen (where she lives, she got back ok), but the point here is I was very surprised she called me in this situation, we'd only spoken briefly over text a week before, before that it had been several months since id spoken to her, and a year before that maybe.

Around a week after that we were saddened by the loss of two friends also from school, so we met up before the funeral and had a catch up in person. The next day at the funeral I was standing listening to some speeches and she came over and took my arm, again I was surprised she chose me in this situation, we were friends but she had many that were a lot closer than I had ever been.

Two weeks later after the wake of the second funeral we went back with a group of friends to their house, which was cramped and she came right across the room and sat with me on the arm of my chair, again to my surprise. After a while though all of her friends left and it was just her and a few of my friends she didn't know so well left, very soon after this she said she wanted to go for a walk and only asked me if I wanted to go, I agreed and when we were outside she took my arm again as we walked and as It was raining a little she took an umbrella out and asked if I wanted under it (it was a very small umbrella), anyway we walked closely, more closely than she's walked with me ever in the past, under the umbrella for a while. We came to an old santa claus land building in the centre of the village (very remote for its location) she offered me a mint as we started looking around a little and after a couple minutes when we were standing in front of the building she snuggled up to me. I mean like arm tightly around my back, head resting on my chest and her other hand on my chest as well, this went on for what felt like an hour, occasionly she'd sqeeze really tight or move her hand up and down my chest a bit and at one point near the end she leaned up and gently kissed my cheek.

After some time she straightened the hug and squeezed hard again, pressing more than anyone ever has with me in a hug before, after that she moved out of the hug and she had a sort of beady look in her eye that I've never seen before. I really felt like she wanted me to kiss her at this moment, and I wanted to more than anything in the world, but I'm a coward and I left her gaze and turned my head a bit. After this she sighed and held her hand out, I took her hand and we continued walking,

she still had the look in her eye though and she seemed happy and a little giggly (even when I said pretty stupid stuff) we eventually got to the train station and when we sat down she again leaned into me resting her head on my shoulder and said I didn't have to wait with her, but I said I would.

When the train came she hugged me one last time and whispered thank you in my ear before turning away and boarding. The next day I messaged her to see if she was free the coming week and she said she was on holiday but would be back the week after, we chatted on for a while talking about where she was going etc. until she said goodnight eventually.

I continued to message her the next day which was good she was relpying fairly prompt and putting into the conversations. A couple days later though she said in one of her messages she had sunburn on half of her face (I guessed she maybe felt insecure about it) so said I'm sure your still just as pretty in response, she sent back aww thanks its pretty touch and go,

After this though she seemed to relpy with much shorter messages and took much longer to respond than before. Until a couple days ago it would take a full day to get a few words in reply, and not continuing conversation whatsoever, I gave it a day or so and on Sunday I sent her a message asking when she was back this week, she said she was back today so yesterday I sent her a message asking if she was free on Wednesday and said that we needed another adventure. After some time I got a mere "No sorry I'm working".

I'll admit I was pretty hurt to read it, I mean she lives 90 miles away in aderdeen and was only home for two, three weeks so id be very surprised if she was working, so I took her first answer "No Sorry". And simply replied no worries. That was the last interaction yesterday, I've not heard from her today and I don't think I will. But what have I done wrong? Was I reading things wrong? I really thought she liked me... Do I even still have a chance? Or did I ever even have one to begin with? I don't know what to do...

Really sorry about the length of my post but I'm hurt and confused and needed to tell things from the start...

[tickle]

Ok but can u break it down into paragraphs to make it more intelligible

[Slazeus]

Ok but can u break it down into paragraphs to make it more intelligible

OK sorry, I've done that now

[smoothy]

Simple... she didn't want to get involved into something with someone who wasn't going to be local. I think you were expecting there to be more than she was willing to give. And she saw it and took steps to keep it from going there.

Few people really want to get into a long distance relationship when there are so many people local to them.

[talaniman]

No reason to be hurt or confused, but obviously she can't take a 90 mile trip to see a guy who is rather wishy washy, and is happy for her to do ALL the work. That's no way to impress a lady, or keep her interests piquéd.

Texting got old rather fast didn't it? I don't think you really did anything wrong though, whatever started this, it just fizzled and that happens more than you know so get over the hurt and confusion. Just chalk it up to....DARN IT!!

[Slazeus]

The distance had crossed my mind... but she knew that, why would she get so close if she had no interest? The texting didn't get old so to speak, she just distanced herself after I dropped the compliment..

Also I've not said I'm happy for her to do all the work, Id be more than happy to travel but she was home anyway. In fact I would have happily left everything behind and gone where-ever I needed to be, though I didn't even get a chance to tell her that.

And what it sounds like you guys are saying is its over (if it had even begun) and there's nothing more I can do? And if that's true can I even salvage our friendship?

[talaniman]

My suggestion is to backup a bit, and not be so emotionally invested into making something happen, because you just don't know enough about her, or what's going on in her head, or her life for that matter. Neither of you can read minds either, but she did get your attention didn't she?

Explore with caution and low expectations until you know a lot more. But then I put little real value in texting as a form of communications, especially if she doesn't meet your expectations of how she answers, or reacts. That's so common now a days, and it's so easy to misunderstand when your waiting impatiently for responses. Why get hyped up at all and force things when they will develop (Or not) on there own, be it dating, romance, friendship, or just nothing.

I think I would have found out about her sudden interest out of the blue while you had the chance in person, and maybe you still can, but please, NOT through texting!! Call her. Talk to her. Then at least you can have facts instead of hurt and confused feelings.