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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #1

    Apr 13, 2007, 04:16 AM
    Told you its Friday!
    I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
    Reasons:

    1-------- I do physical labor.

    2.------- I work at great depths.

    3.------- I plunge head first into everything I do.

    4.------- I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

    5.--------I work in a damp environment.

    6. -------I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.

    7.------- I work in high temperatures.

    8. -------My work exposes me to diseases.

    Reply:


    Dear Penis,

    After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
    Raised,
    The management denies your request for the following reasons:

    1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
    2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after EACH brief work
    Period.
    3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
    4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen visiting
    Other locations.
    5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated
    In order to start working.
    6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
    7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
    Wearing the correct protective clothing.
    8. You will retire LONG before you are 65.
    9. You are unable to work double shifts.
    10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
    Completed the assigned task.
    11. And if that were not all, you have constantly been seen entering and
    Exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.



    Sincerely, The Management



    Five reasons not to be a penis..

    1. You're bald your whole life.
    2. You have a hole in your head.
    3. Your neighbors are nuts.
    4. The guy behind you is an hole and...
    5. Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint
    alkalineangel's Avatar
    alkalineangel Posts: 2,391, Reputation: 323
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Apr 13, 2007, 05:38 AM
    Hahah... awesome!
    BlakeCory's Avatar
    BlakeCory Posts: 236, Reputation: 21
    Full Member
     
    #3

    Apr 13, 2007, 03:14 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman
    9. You are unable to work double shifts.
    Are you sure about that? I've had to work a double shift every week this year.
    magprob's Avatar
    magprob Posts: 1,877, Reputation: 300
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Apr 13, 2007, 08:14 PM
    I would never treat my little bald headed buddy that way... even though he hasn't had a raise in quite a while. When some one gives you years of good service, you don't just abandon them when they can no longer perform. It's a hard world. I guess I'm just and old softie. Oh, Willie is on the radio, got to go!
    Matt3046's Avatar
    Matt3046 Posts: 831, Reputation: 128
    Senior Member
     
    #5

    Apr 13, 2007, 08:38 PM
    Five reasons not to be a penis..

    1. You're bald your whole life.
    2. You have a hole in your head.
    3. Your neighbors are nuts.
    4. The guy behind you is an hole and...
    5. Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint[/quote]

    6.your best friend is a p***y
    7. your owner will beat you (repeatedly)
    robertsqueen's Avatar
    robertsqueen Posts: 376, Reputation: 43
    Full Member
     
    #6

    Apr 13, 2007, 09:19 PM
    Lol Thanks guys I needed a good laugh lol

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