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    Kaykat16's Avatar
    Kaykat16 Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 5, 2015, 04:40 PM
    Do I have grounds to be emancipated?
    I can remember starting from when I was around three years old. My mom was 15 or 16 when she had me. Ive never known my real father. From before I was born till I was five years old my mom was in an abusive relationship with a guy who I knew as my father. I didn't know he wasn't until I was five when my mom left him and told me my real father was going into the army (I later found out that was not the truth) I witnessed the abuse and can remember a lot of the things that happened. I am also pretty sure that I was molested when I was younger. Because of some things that I remember. When I was three or four I remember one time waking up after having a nightmare and waking my mom up. She told me to go back to bed or she was going to go up on the train tracks to kill herself. Is that really something you should be saying to a three or four year old? Durning this time that my mom was in a abusive relationship my grandparents "kidnapped" me around three to five times keeping me for days without telling my mother where we were and we would stay in motels. But it was never reported. I remember my grandpa smoking pot when I was with them. I even told my mom but it was nothing new because she already knew. Once my mom left my now ex-step dad we went to stay with my grandparents. There was my grandparents, my mom, me, and my uncle living in a two bedroom trailer. Also at one point my aunt and her two children were living there as well on and off. When I was 6 my mom and moved into a trailer of our own. My mom worked most of the time so I had to stay with a neighbor lady who babysat me till my mom got off. During this time of my life my mom was dating or going out with three different guys. Keith, Bull, and Kevin. I wasn't allowed to tell any. Of them about the other guys. When I turned seven and just had finished first grade my mom decided to send me to live with my grandparents who had moved into a house in a different town out in the country. My mom went and lived with her boyfriend at the time, Bull. Bull was also abusive towards my mom. I barley seen my mom the year and a half I lived with my grandparents. During one time I seen her when I was eight I was with my mom and Bull. Bull had stopped at the gas station and my mom and I stayed in the car. It was at this time when my mom told me that if things didn't get better, she could no longer support me and would have to give me up for adoption. While staying at my grandparents my uncle moved in. The house my grandparents had at that time was a three bedroom so I had my own room still. Even though I was eight and he was 21 my uncle was verbally abusive. All he ever did was smoke weed. There would often be physical fights between my uncle and grandpa. There would be yelling and arguments nearly everyday. But they wouldn't kick him out so he continued to live there. When I was nine my mom left Bull and moved in with my grandparents as well. The fighting only became worse once my m

    Continued


    Om was there. I remember this one time when my mom and I had just finished eating dinner and I asked her something about the food and if it was healthy and all of a sudden my uncle comes storming into the kitchen looking for a fight yelling as loud as he can that we were talking about him ( don't forget my uncle was a big drug user which might explain his mental state) my grandma came running into the kitchen and me and my mom are still sitting there and she's yelling at him that we weren't and that he needs to get out of our face. The next thing I remember is my grandma holding back my uncle trying to get him to go but she couldn't hold him back and he threw a punch and just as he did I moved back in my chair and instead of hitting me (like he would have if I hadn't moved) he hit my mom. That day my mom and I moved into a shelter and I was switched schools again. That summer after I finished third grade my mom and my mom and I stayed at a motel for awhile and then eventually ended up going back to live with my grandparents in the same house. Living in the house was my grandparents, my uncle, my aunt and her boyfriend, my two cousins, and my mom and I. Everyone argued a lot. And when my mom and my aunt got into a really bad physical fight we once again left to stay in a motel for over a month. Before the summer was completely over we moved in with my great grandparents and this is where I started my fifth school. And I was in fifth grade. (I was homeschooled in fourth grade) And this is where I believe the emotional abuse started. I was around ten when my mom started saying things such as calling me a "" or saying I was "acting like a little " we lived with my great grandparents until I was 12 and in the 6th grade. They moved to Arizona the summer before I started 7th grade. I had talked my mom into staying in Missouri. I still hold anger towards my great grandparents because they had told me there would be my forever home and yet, they let me down. My mom and I moved into a trailer which was in the same school district so I didn't have to switch schools again. Seventh grade is considered the first year of middle school where I lived. That year was really hard on me. A new kid moved into the district and started going to school two weeks in. And that's when everything changed at school for me. I was bullied. To the point where I was depressed and death seemed like the only thing that would make everything better. I told my mom about it. She says she called the bully hotline but nothing was ever done. My mom set up a meeting with principle and this is when we all sat down for a conference. There was the principal, the vice principal, my mom, and myself. During this conference I was blamed for being bullied by the principle. She said that no one was bullying anyone and if anyone was, it was most likely me being the bully. Things were no better for me at home. My mom and I fought constantly and after the conference she found a way to hurt me. Whenever we would begin to argue she would say "and you wonder why you don't have friends." And "its your fault no one likes you." At one point in my seventh grade year I caught the bully in the act by using my iPod camera. Yet nothing was ever done and my mom still continued. That year I turned to cutting... It took my mind off things and when
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #2

    Oct 5, 2015, 04:45 PM
    SO, can you afford to pay a lawyer to file for it and fight it in court (very expensive).. as well as support yourself WITHOUT the assistance of others or living with others. And PROVE a stable source of income.

    If the answer is no to any of those questions... you don't stand a chance.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #3

    Oct 5, 2015, 04:51 PM
    No, you don't have grounds. PHYSICAL ABUSE or NEGLECT might get you foster care. Emancipation requires financial independence. There's almost no way you can do that on your own.

    I don't know why some responses are so indirect and condemning.

    Please give this young woman some credit.
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    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #4

    Oct 5, 2015, 04:55 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    No, you don't have grounds. PHYSICAL ABUSE or NEGLECT might get you foster care. Emancipation requires financial independence. There's almost no way you can do that on your own.

    I don't know why some responses are so indirect and condemning.

    Please give this young woman some credit.
    Since I am the only one who has answered so far, Exactly how is that condemning or indirect? Its straight and to the point. And ARE the key points required for emancipation. Which is what she asked. Without meeting those... nothing else matters.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #5

    Oct 5, 2015, 05:07 PM
    We do need a lot of info to answer questions, but none of the info your provided is really helpful when it comes to answering your question.

    How old are you now? Do you have a full time job? Have you looked at apartments, written out a budget on how much money you'll need every month to have a roof over your head, food, clothing, transportation, health care, etc. etc.

    As Joy said, abuse would get you into foster care, but emancipation requires more. It means that you have to prove (by working, and going to school) that you can take care of yourself without any help from anyone else. You have to make enough money to get your own place, put food on the table, clothes on your back, pay to get to and from work and school, pay to go to the doctor and medication if needed, and everything else that goes along with living on your own, while also attending school.

    Do you have a job? Do you have money saved? How are your grades?

    Based on what you wrote, it doesn't look like emancipation would be an option for you at this time.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,302, Reputation: 7692
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    #6

    Oct 5, 2015, 08:22 PM
    You may have a case for children and family services to investigate and set up a parenting plan with your mom, and/or a foster home.

    No, you have no case for emancipation. Even not knowing what jurisdiction you may consider filing in.
    1. You would need to prove you have income to pay for your own apartment, utilities, and other costs of living. (not living with anyone else)
    2. You would have to show you have the money to afford to make that move, including rental deposits
    3. You would have to prove you have a job, that earns that money and that job is steady.

    After that, you will need the money for an attorney and file suit in family court.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #7

    Oct 6, 2015, 06:32 AM
    Sorry, but I didn't read through all that stuff. But I was looking for and didn't see to VERY important facts that we need to advise. The first is your age, the second is your general locale. Laws vary by area.

    The grounds for emancipation are not as important as your ability to support yourself. I think you could make a sufficient case, that your relationship with your family is toxic and represents a danger to you. But that's not what the courts want to hear when it comes to emancipation. The court will want to know if they emancipate you, whether you can support yourself. Whether you can earn money to provide yourself with food and shelter. Those are the important grounds for a court to approve emancipation. And there is nothing of that in your note.
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    tickle Posts: 23,801, Reputation: 2674
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    #8

    Oct 6, 2015, 08:47 AM
    Very good memory and reporting from the age of three and in such detail from then on. How old are you now ?

    Who home schooled you, your mom ?
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #9

    Oct 6, 2015, 09:40 AM
    She will be 17 in January. It helps to read older posts.
    smoothy, I happen to think she has very good reason to want to be emancipated. I also don't agree with you that she needs a lawyer, or that it will be expensive.
    It isn't in my rich state of CT, and I doubt that it is in the poor state of MO.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #10

    Oct 6, 2015, 10:24 AM
    According to another (closed) thread, she is 16 (17 in January) and lives in Missouri.

    The following quote is representative of the sources I have found so far.

    Missouri Legal Ages Laws - FindLaw
    Summary of Missouri Legal Age Laws

    Missouri statute does not specify age limits below the age of majority (18), but it does offer some limited exceptions for minors. For instance, a minor may consent to medical treatment if married or if the treatment is for pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, or substance abuse. Additionally, a married minor (if the spouse is 18 or older) may be included in the joint ownership of real estate.

    The state does not have a formal procedure for the emancipation of minors, in which a minor is declared an "adult" in the eyes of the law (and thus eligible for all of the privileges and responsibilities of adulthood). But Missouri does allow for the emancipation of minors by court order in some limited circumstances, which include:
    • Express parental consent (waiving parental rights)
    • Implied parental consent (minor is already living apart from parents and supporting him or herself)
    • Significant change in status (this may include military enlistment or marriage)
    From what you have written, you would not be able to be emancipated. It appears you already have to be taking on the responsibilities of an adult to be declared an adult by the courts.

    Are you currently paying your own living expenses-food, drink, shelter, toiletries, etc.?
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #11

    Oct 6, 2015, 12:47 PM
    OK, so you probably don't qualify under the second two circumstances. (already supporting yourself or military/marriage). Which means you need to get your mother to agree and that doesn't appear possible.

    So my recommendation at this point would be to contact a local Family Law attorney and see if there is any possibility of the courts granting you emancipation. And if so, what you need to do.

    My guess is that you will have to endure for another 15 months while you prepare by saving money getting a job, etc. So that as soon as you turn 18 you can move out.

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