[crazie]

I don't know but this girl that was my friend, well we became closer together and now she doesn't call me or text me as often, last time I texted her something and she game a negative answer although I don't know if she was being sarcastic. Please I don't really know what to do this is killing me I have never been in love and she is just killing me I have never cried for something. She came back from a trip and I haven't seen her in a while. Please help!!

[JoeCanada76]

No, you do not desperately need anybody.

Your name crazie, is that because you think your crazy?

Please please settle down. You need to give this girl her space.

If you do not, and you do not leave her alone. You will not have anything

With this girl. No friendship, no nothing if you continue to be so needy.

Joe

[crazie]

You have no idea what I am talking about, I meet her over a year ago and of course I have given her space, is just that all of the sudden she is just so out of touch with me. She was my best friend and that prob was a big mistake because I ended up falling for her. I fell for her a while ago but I always respected that, now she got me all confused. There have been several occasions in which she has called me drunk telling me she loves me and that made me more attached to her. Now she is like not there and I don't know what to do

[aquarialight]

Best thing to do is to straight up confront her about it. I know you probably already have done that, but if you can get her one on one, face to face, I'd do that and just confront her about what you're feeling and ask her if she seriously feels the same way that you do. If she snubs you then it was probably not meant to be. I know it's hard but that's the truth. I hope this helped. Also what I do is I pray about what's bothering me before I go to sleep and then I sleep, sometimes our subconcious sorts the problems out for us...
Good Luck with this girl, I hope things turn out for the best.

[Clough]

When you ask a question on this site, it is best to be courteous to those who are answering your question or questions. People will answer your questions to the best of their ability based upon the information you have provided. Please think about the information that you have provided in a question before lashing out at someone for the way that they have answered your question.

People who answer the questions on this site come from a great and wide variety of backgrounds, experiences and ages. It is best to weigh the answers that you have been given based upon the information that you have provided. And, besides that, the answers and/or therapy is free!

This is not a private chat room or blog. Words that you type in on this site are easily seen by those who type them into searches on the Web as well as on this site. You can't do that concerning most chat rooms and blogs. So, it's best to be careful in what you type.

I happen to agree with the responses of Jesushelper76, Matt3046 and aquarialight. Your acting out of desperation is inappropriate. I don't know that you have confronted her concerning your issue. Do you think that a girl is going to want a man who is so needy? One of the qualities that a woman looks for in a man is self-sufficiency. Jesushelper76 is a Relationship Expert. He has already proven that. It doesn't mean that he will be perfect in his answers. But, he does know what he is talking about. Again, the answers and/or therapy is free!

Please just speak with the girl. No teskting or emails. Too impersonal. A girl will want a personal touch, such as your voice.

[crazie]

When you ask a question on this site, it is best to be courteous to those who are answering your question or questions. People will answer your questions to the best of their ability based upon the information you have provided. Please think about the information that you have provided in a question before lashing out at someone for the way that they have answered your question.

People who answer the questions on this site come from a great and wide variety of backgrounds, experiences and ages. It is best to weigh the answers that you have been given based upon the information that you have provided. And, besides that, the answers and/or therapy is free!

This is not a private chat room or blog. Words that you type in on this site are easily seen by those who type them into searches on the Web as well as on this site. You can't do that concerning most chat rooms and blogs. So, it's best to be careful in what you type.

I happen to agree with the responses of both Jesushelper76, Matt3046 and aquarialight. Your acting out of desperation is inappropriate. I don't know that you have confronted her concerning your issue. Do you think that a girl is going to want a man who is so needy? One of the qualities that women look for in a man is self-sufficiency. Jesushelper76 is a Relationship Expert. He has already proven that. It doesn't mean that he will be perfect in his answers. But, he does know what he is talking about. Again, the answers and/or therapy is free!

Please just speak with the girl. No teskting or emails. Too impersonal. A girl will want a personal touch, such as your voice.

You know what, I am going to have to agree with you with my lack of information and disrespect and for that I am sorry. On the other hand believe this is so far the craziest experience in my life and is just driving me crazy. It is just that there are many other things that I don't know about her and is partly her fault. I do not hold her responsible for my acting but sometimes you as a person have to understand that you can either exalt or hurt others and she certainly has confused me in many issues including whether she just wants to leave it as friends and regarding her own sexuality. Now what you said about voice, well she in a way is kind of strange. She doesn't want to see me for periods and then suddenly she rushes to me like she desperately needs me and sometimes makes me feel used. One of the reasons I decided to become her friend (I have very few friends, but I have always preferred quality over quantity) is that she seems to be such a good person; I certainly don't like disloyal, liars and pretty much people who just mess with others. But I have had very few experiences with relationships (I am 20 years old) and maybe I made a big mistake. Sometimes I think I should move on and I have tried too but my feelings are so strong for her despite that she has hurt me many times possibly without intention and that has left me very scarred. I personally don't know why I keep coming back and end up hurting my pride, dignity and above all my heart.

[Clough]

Dear crazie,

I appreciate your response. I know that you are still searching for an answer. I would like to respond to what you have said. However, in order for me to respond intelligently, I need to get to bed and maybe respond to you at another time.

Are you staying up too late mulling things over? I did that countless times when I was in love with someone and trying to figure things out. Didn't get very far with that other than writing down my thoughts and mulling it over.

I don't know where you live. But, for me it is way past the time that I should have gone to bed!

There will be others who will notice this post and respond to your question. You will have the answers to your question. Just please keep in mind the information that you are giving them and weighing their responses based upon all of the information that you have provided.

[talaniman]

There have been several occasions in which she has called me drunk telling me she loves me and that made me more attached to her. Now she is like not there and I don't know what to do

I think this says a lot about your willingness to accept any type of behaviour as attractive. That and being so desperate to latch on to someone that quirky and tell us how good of a person she is, has me wondering more about you than her. I honestly think you should back up, and look at this again with a calmer eye. You are way to emotionally involved to see this dynamic between you is not stable or healthy for either of you. Just because you want something, doesn't mean its good for you. Maybe you can't help who you fall for, but you can control what you do about it.

[alizeblu]

Look guy, I'm 21. Don't do it to yourself, really, its not worth it.

Love messes with your head too much. All of the good that comes out of it is false.

It turns you away from you friends, makes you think irrational, you know what you're doing but you can't rectify your behavior because why?

Yea, so if I was you, I wouldn't let 1 girl get to your head like that, forget her, you do 10 times better on your own. Plus there's tuns of women in this world, there's your upside.

But here's you downside...

Loves an illusion, you THINK you've met the girl of your dreams, want to be with her forever and all, then reality comes back and drags you back down from heaven. Letting us all know that there was nothing there to begin with. You know this, but refuse to recify your behavior, why? Cause we're human. We want to believe that there's a "happiliy ever after out there for all of us, but in reality, there's not.

The only people on this earth that you can truly love is your family. And god. That's it.

All that other stuff is bull. Fantasy, fairy tale.

Your so called true love is a con, to keep people searching for something that was never there to begin with.

In this world everything comes down to either sex, or money, das it.

Its our society, it's the way it works, might as well get used to it.

Don't believe me? Find it out for yourself, garauntee you that it always comes down to those 2 things.

[crazie]

talaniman, thank you for your response. Sadly as you said we apparently cannot control who we fall for but that's the main problem. You see, I never saw myself as a caring person, I mean she totally changed and that's was good, I pretty much was a total cold a$$hole towards most people except here and a few others. As is just this is too strong, is like the biggest, most addictive drug.

look guy, im 21. dont do it to yourself, really, its not worth it.

love messes with your head too much. all of the good that comes outta it is false.

it turns you away from you friends, makes you think irrational, you know what youre doing but you can't rectify your behavior because why?

yea, so if i was you, i wouldnt let 1 girl get to your head like that, forget her, you do 10 times better on your own. plus theres tuns of women in this world, theres your upside.

but heres you downside.....

loves an illusion, you THINK youve met the girl of your dreams, wanna be with her forever and all, then reality comes back and drags you back down from heaven. letting us all know that there was nothing there to begin with. you know this, but refuse to recify your behavior, why? cause we're human. we wanna believe that theres a "happiliy ever after out there for all of us, but in reality, theres not.

the only people on this earth that you can truly love is your family. and god. thats it.

all that other stuff is bull. fantasy, fairy tale.

your so called true love is a con, to keep people searching for somthing that was never there to begin with.

in this world everything comes down to either sex, or money, das it.

its our society, its the way it works, might as well get used to it.

dont believe me? find it out for yourself, garauntee you that it always comes down to those 2 things.

I refuse to believe that. I know I might sound pretty stupid and I know changes are very against me but I my grandparents have been marry since their early twenties and that gives me hope. By the way I am not trowing away your advice and your point is actually stronger than mine but I really want to meet someone. I guess I have to be even more careful and hang out with better people.

[sypher373]

in this world everything comes down to either sex, or money, das it.

its our society, its the way it works, might as well get used to it.

dont believe me? find it out for yourself, garauntee you that it always comes down to those 2 things.

I'm not sure I agree with that either. It sounds as though you're a bit bitter over something that happened and are taking it out on the world as a whole. I am certain that there is more to life than sex and money. My relationship fell apart recently as well, though I hold no bitter feelings and I have no questions about the true love that was between my ex and I. I respect what we had, and I also understand that at our age people change and there's not much you can do about change. By no means does that mean what we had for three years was all about sex and/or money.

[alizeblu]

I'm not sure I agree with that either. It sounds as though your a bit bitter over something that happened and are taking it out on the world as a whole. I am certain that there is more to life than sex and money. My relationship fell apart recently as well, though I hold no bitter feelings and I have no questions about the true love that was between my ex and I. I respect what we had, and I also understand that at our age people change and theres not much you can do about change. By no means does that mean what we had for three years was all about sex and/or money.

So basically you never had sex with her or bought her anything right?

You're missing what I'm saying,I'm speaking in business terms. Ultimatley it DOES come down to those 2.

Everything else is an illusion, stuff you can't see, only thought of.

This comes straight from my college professor Dr. pierog, "i dont care what anyone tells you, everything in this world ultimatley comes down to 2 things, money and sex."

Don't believe me? Do the research, you'll see.

[sypher373]

Okay,
I don't want to hijack this thread and turn it into an argument, but are you saying that beucase something is not tangible (sex, gifts, money) then it doesn't exist? Are you saying that emotions are just 'inventions of the mind' and they have no bearing on how your life and relationships will play out?

There is a big difference between us having sex and buying gifts for each other, and basing the entire relationship on those actions.

[love stinks]

I don't know but this girl that was my friend, well we became closer together and now she doesn't call me or text me as often, last time i texted her something and she game a negative answer although i don't know if she was being sarcastic. Please i don't really know what to do this is killing me i have never been in love and she is just killing me i have never cried for something. She came back from a trip and i havent seen her in a while. Please help!!!!

I know how u feel.
Ask if she likes you and if she says yes then that is grate but if she says no then ask if you both can be mates

[diya]

Your desperation to get someone may only make the person run away from you because when you're desperate... unknowingly... u do things which are absurd and crazy and may give the other person some wrong notions and ideas about you. I suggest do a breathing technique on yourself. Take a deep breath 3 times... and sit quiet for just 10 min... try not to think anything during that period... hopefully you will know what you want then...

[crazie]

ur desperation to get someone may only make the person run away from you because when you're desperate..... unknowingly....... u do things which are absurd and crazy and may give the other person some wrong notions and ideas about you. I suggest do a breathing technique on yourself. Take a deep breath 3 times....and sit quiet for just 10 min...try not to think anything during that period of time...hopefully you will know what you want then.....

Thank you all for your advice and hopefully it will help me go through this(not to exaggerate or be corny but it feels like this is like the greatest crisis in my life). Now what I mostly need is some advice of how to just let her go away from my heart and this is not easy. I usually do an hour of exercise but she quickly gets into my mind. Every time I see someone walking in the street that person either reminds me of her or even think is her. Every way I turn there is a little piece of history related to her or something that reminds me of her. I been going out with my friends more often to try to expel her from my mind but as I said she keeps coming back to my mind because there is always something that reminds me of her.(actually no one knows about what I am going through but I don't know if I should tell anyone about it) My only hope is that this somehow will just fade away, I want to meet more people and hopefully someone that I like(I am not looking to get into a relationship thought, just new friends with a relationship potential in a DISTANT future; I am way too hurt).
So please any ideas of what to do now?
Thank you in advance

[talaniman]

Keep doing what your doing it will get better.

[Jiser]

Time! Give it time. Keep busy, enjoy life, before you know it shell be out of your mind.

[Clough]

It might help you to check out the following post. I hope that it is helpful to you.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ind-81768.html

[alizeblu]

Okay,
I dont want to hijack this thread and turn it into an argument, but are you saying that beucase something is not tangible (sex, gifts, money) then it doesnt exist? Are you saying that emotions are just 'inventions of the mind' and they have no bearing on how your life and relationships will play out?

There is a big difference between us having sex and buying gifts for each other, and basing the entire relationship on those actions.

Look alls I'm saying is that he really shouldn't let one girl get him all messed up in the head, there's so much more he can be doing.

And yes your emotions are just inventions of the mind, but we are capable of keeping them in check, until pushed to a certain point.

He's letting his emotions get the better of him, what I suggest is do something to take his mind off her.

Honestly, we have so little time on this earth, don't think about her, go out, have some fun, there's tons of other women out there, she's not perfect trust me no girl is. Its not worth spending all your time on one person.

Turn your pain into motivation to get a better quality of living.

Basically, forget her, get money and go enjoy your life.