[kevin2006]

I have a problem that I've had for awhile but I only noticed it when people started bringing it up. My brothers used to make fun of me because they say I can easily get persuaded by sales people and that I would believe anything, but they make it seem lke a joke. When I am with my friends, they notice it to and are honest with me. They say I'm gullible for everything. An example of this happened a couple weeks ago. I was on the phone with my girlfriend and I was near the men's bathroom, which I usually use. A girl I know walked by and said watch out you're near the girls bathroom and pointed to the mens bathroom. When she told me this, I got surprised and was like what the hell and when I looked I felt so dumb. I felt like everyone can trick me. I also feel like I am easily brainwashed. When I decide about something, someone can easily come and tell me a lot of things and I would probably change my decision. I don't know if its because I'm too nice, which some people say, but it really bothers me and its something I really want to work at and resolve, but I don't know how. If someone can relate or give me some tips I would really appreciate it.

Thanks

[SpecialEd]

Your biggest problem seems to be a lack of character in your friends and family. Set a rule to never make a large purchase within 24 hours. Integrity, responsibility, and making good decisions are never accidental. Plan to be wise.

[kevin2006]

But how can I plan what situation I'm going to be in or what someone will say to me?

[shygrneyzs]

Make a rule for yourself to always question whatever someone tells you. AS you apparently cannot trust what your family and friends say to you. For example, when you stand by a men's bathroom, know that it is a men's bathroom and stand up for yourself once. When you let yourself be taken in like this, you are a fool for the pickings, as the saying goes.

So if you develop some self questioning skills, in order to defend your own actions - you have to be able to stand on your own. A person who allows the wind to change his own direction is going to blow away.

I agree with Special Ed - you need to develop some self monitoring skills - the example of not making a major purchase right away. Stop and think about it. And DO NOT listen to your wise cracking family and friends. They would probably tell you it is an elephant and you would believe them. Even if it was only a television.

Find some new companions. People who do not get their jollies by messing with someone's head. Once bitten, twice shy - you are going to wise up sooner or later - but in your case, later I am afraid. One day your lack of self protection will really hurt you. You are someone who could be easily duped by a scam.

[AKaeTrue]

Well, you can't help what people will say to you, but you can help yourself to become more familiar with whether it's a joke or not.
One way to do this is to be attentive... A lot of times I've noticed that the most gullible people do not pay attention to details in their life, self, or surroundings...
Give it a try:D

Kae

[kevin2006]

Sometimes I feel like I'm thinking so much in my own world, that I don't notice obvious stuff around me and I get lost.. how can I solve that?

[shygrneyzs]

If that is the case, you get so absent minded that you lose focus on reality. I cannot remember the technical term for that. Do you feel separated from reality so often that you cannot focus? It sounds like it. You could have an emotional or mental disorder. I am not kidding here or trying to make fun of what you are experiencing. Because it is very real. Have you ever explained this to your doctor/ Asked for a psychological evaluation or testing? There could be some underlying condition that is hindering your mental processes. I hope you get that checked out - if for no other reason, so that you can have some answers. Good luck to you.

[LuvMyMaltipoo]

It's good that you are aware of the situation. Most people don't even realize it! You're being taken advantage of in most of these situations. If someone tells you something that surprises you, always question it. Don't be afraid to ask WHY?

[SpecialEd]

Sometimes I feel like I'm thinking so much in my own world, that I don't notice obvious stuff around me and I get lost.. how can I solve that?

Try becoming a little less self involved. Find someone who cannot repay you in kind, and help them. You may find that when you focus on someone else's problems, your own problems will tend to sort themselves out.

[AKaeTrue]

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (AD/HD)

There are three subtypes of AD/HD (inattentive, hyperactive-impulsive, and combined).

Does this sound like you?
Inattention ADD symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder:
- Often fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes
- Often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks
- Often loses things necessary for tasks or activities
- Is often easily distracted
- Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly
- Often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish duties
- Often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities
- Is often forgetful
- Often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort

If so, it would be wise to speak to a professional about the issues you are facing.

Also, regardless if you have the disorder above, there are a few things you can do to help yourself: getting organized, keeping a daily planer, and having structure .
You'll know what you need to do, when you need to do it and you'll have a plan on how your going to do it and be able to get it done without a problems or distractions on your part.

That will free up your mind and enable you to pay closer attention to your surroundings.

[phillysteakandcheese]

It sounds to me like you are too reliant on other people leading you and telling you the who, when, where, and why.

I think you need to know a little more about yoruself, and have an awareness of the world around you as it really is - not as you wish it were, or how others paint it for you.

[kevin2006]

Thanks for your support... I kind of do need help.. I notice I am always losing touch with reality and I honestly believe my thoughts about certtain stuff and situations is wrong, but I don't know how to fix them... im scared to look at girls properly sometimes because I feel they're checking me out.. I know its not a bad thing lol... but it makes me shy sometimes and its affecting me... and I don't know how to resolve it... that is just an example of some of my situations... I feel like I can't control my thoughts that well either

[saraispiel19]

I'm gullible too- welcome to the club.. but it doesn't meαn to be stupid either, like it's not to the point thαt you believe everything becαuse there's αlwαys something thαt tells you thαt someone is fooling you.

[mrscoltweaver]

How old are you buddy? You sound perfectly normal to me. See yourself in a positive light-being "gullible". You know what the opposite of that is? Being "cynical". I'd take gullible any day rather than being suspicious all the time! If you are still in high school or younger, don't worry about it. Heck your brain isn't even finished growing yet! Teenagers can be some of the meanest animals on the planet. I survived!

[kevin2006]

I'm not that young... shocking as it is, I'm a university student... I feel like I should have matured by now... I really don't know what's wrong with my mind... I feel like I have no self-esteem... sometimes when I'm with some of my friends I feel like I isn't myself.. and when I'm by myself everything slow downs and I start be conscious of where I am and who I am...

[mrscoltweaver]

There is no set rate on when you are magically "mature". Heck, I'm 38 and not until I was 30 did I figure out who I am. Talk to a counselor who can point you in the right direction. From the friends you described, they don't have much of a clue either! Half of being happy and confident is acting that way...

[kevin2006]

Yea I agree with that... some of my friends who I live with notice I have low self esteem and sometimes try to get myself to act tougher and stuff... I feel my low-self esteem is the cause of all my mental problems... there are moments in the day when I feel good and not worrying about anything and I feel I can do anything... but that always changes so fast... when I start worrying about other things

[kevin2006]

Last couple days I've been feeling like I'm not a real person... like when I compare myself to the world I don't feel like an actual person.. I feel so lost sometimes... I don't know why I'm feeling like this

[AKaeTrue]

I'm truly sorry that you're feeling this way.
There may be a simple solution if you'd see a Dr. and explain to him your symptoms.
There is not a reason why you should go one more day feeling this way and doing nothing to try to help it.
You've recognized that there is a problem, now see a Dr.
Don't worry about what the Dr. will think either, believe me they've heard a lot worse.
Your troubles happens to be very common complaints, there is something that can be done for you to make you stop feeling the way your feeling...

[kevin2006]

Yea I've been seeing a counsellor... but its only like once every 3-4 weeks... and she hasn't recommended me for a psychiatrist yet... but sometimes I feel like I don't need one... and sometimes I do.. I think I really do need one because I'm getting really bad thoughts about everything... hopefully everything works out.. thanx for the advice