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    Gettnunbuttheiz's Avatar
    Gettnunbuttheiz Posts: 38, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 22, 2015, 02:56 PM
    Ex husband threatening me through text.
    I just want to know if it is possible to legally stop him from harassing me through text, and insulting me, degrading me, cussing at me, and making demands
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,801, Reputation: 2674
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    #2

    Apr 22, 2015, 03:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Gettnunbuttheiz View Post
    I just want to know if it is possible to legally stop him from harassing me threw text and insulting me degrading me cussing at me and making demands
    Get a new phone and number.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #3

    Apr 22, 2015, 03:47 PM
    I agree... get a new phone number... and don't give it to him. It's easier and a heck of a lot less aggravating... unless what you are really trying to do is escalate things by playing tit for tat.
    Gettnunbuttheiz's Avatar
    Gettnunbuttheiz Posts: 38, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Apr 22, 2015, 04:56 PM
    Not doing no tit for tat... escalate things? What is that supposed to mean? I was done with him and our marriage 16 years ago the reason I left was he verbally and physically was abusive and every chance he gets he tries to cause a scene he 3 years ago tried to get a domestic violence restraining order on me(had not seen him or even been near him in at least 1 year at that time) I hired a attorney and stood up to him in his bogus restraining order and I won and all it did was make him more angry.. I have changed numbers and he always gets it due to our kids each time I change it I have to pay a 35 dollar fee...
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #5

    Apr 22, 2015, 05:10 PM
    Do you have more than one kid? One says something, then the other feels a need to say something back... and it ends up in a fight. Doesn't matter who did what... show more class by simply changing your number or ignoring him. Tell your kids if they keep giving it to him...you won't give it to them either.

    Otherwise it IS tit for tat. See the point I was making.

    And in the end of the day... you end up less stressed if you can avoid that. You can't have a war without having casualties.


    Most smart phones you can assign special ringtones to specific numbers... get one that's essentially silent or close to it, and assign his with that one. They don't all have to sound the same. Either phone calls or texts. If your phone can't do it...research phones that do allow it.

    He's going to stop eventually if he doesn't provoke a response from you.....and that will help you do it....you can also look into blocking his number. But if you block it he will know and do it from an unblocked one...a silent or near silent ringtone he won't know and you would not notice each time he does it. Just don't tell your kids you did it.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,303, Reputation: 7691
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    #6

    Apr 22, 2015, 05:36 PM
    Block his phone number, just don't read them, delete them if received. I have someone who has texted me every week for almost a year. I have no idea what they say, I delete them without opening them.
    Gettnunbuttheiz's Avatar
    Gettnunbuttheiz Posts: 38, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Apr 22, 2015, 08:11 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    Block his phone number, just don't read them, delete them if received. I have someone who has texted me every week for almost a year. I have no idea what they say, I delete them without opening them.
    I have been doing that I just don't open them.. just started doing that
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,277, Reputation: 5644
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    #8

    Apr 22, 2015, 08:16 PM
    Contact your provider and have him blocked.
    Gettnunbuttheiz's Avatar
    Gettnunbuttheiz Posts: 38, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Apr 22, 2015, 08:21 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    Do you have more than one kid? One says something, then the other feels a need to say something back... and it ends up in a fight. Doesn't matter who did what... show more class by simply changing your number or ignoring him. Tell your kids if they keep giving it to him...you won't give it to them either.

    Otherwise it IS tit for tat. See the point I was making.

    And in the end of the day... you end up less stressed if you can avoid that. You can't have a war without having casualties.


    Most smart phones you can assign special ringtones to specific numbers... get one that's essentially silent or close to it, and assign his with that one. They don't all have to sound the same. Either phone calls or texts. If your phone can't do it...research phones that do allow it.

    He's going to stop eventually if he doesn't provoke a response from you.....and that will help you do it....you can also look into blocking his number. But if you block it he will know and do it from an unblocked one...a silent or near silent ringtone he won't know and you would not notice each time he does it. Just don't tell your kids you did it.
    Smoothy he has harassed me like this for 16 years the man is a bully... as for not giving my kids my cell number that is just crazy.. my only response to him was "stop harassing me" but as of the last 3 days I have not done anything I ignore his text but he has not stopped we as of a couple hours ago were told he can get in trouble for harassing me and threatening me threw text... they are going to take a report and notify him of his harassment and what can be done if he continues... we will see hopefully it ends as of tonight
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #10

    Apr 22, 2015, 08:36 PM
    Listen.. I got no gripe against you at all... and I am NOT defending him at all, but you keep feeding fuel to the fire instead of letting it go out.

    What happened in the past in the past,, you are divorced now...

    Bullies do what they do to get a reaction... you apparently NEED to get these texts... otherwise you put anything from him to a very quiet ringtone... and delete them every so often. Its sounds like you need this extra drama... let him be an a s s , it doesn't mean you have to respond to him... or give him the satisfaction he wants by getting a rise out of you.

    He does it because it works... you are getting upset , right? You haven't responded... good, that's the right thing. If you do the ringtone thing... its going to bother you a lot less... No problem with filing a report... keep in mind an unwanted text is not the same as a threatening text... and harassment is open to broad interpretation... 1,000 a day, certainly 5 or 10, it's a tough claim to make, no I'm not asking the contents... that's personal... just pointing out the counter argument that can be used. Getting all worked up and upset is only harming your health... learn to ignore him and brush it off... if threats are made... certainly report those every time... but take control of your own health. In the end that's whats most important.
    Gettnunbuttheiz's Avatar
    Gettnunbuttheiz Posts: 38, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Apr 22, 2015, 11:08 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    Listen.. I got no gripe against you at all... and I am NOT defending him at all, but you keep feeding fuel to the fire instead of letting it go out.

    What happened in the past in the past,, you are divorced now...

    Bullies do what they do to get a reaction... you apparently NEED to get these texts... otherwise you put anything from him to a very quiet ringtone... and delete them every so often. Its sounds like you need this extra drama... let him be an a s s , it doesn't mean you have to respond to him... or give him the satisfaction he wants by getting a rise out of you.

    He does it because it works... you are getting upset , right? You haven't responded... good, that's the right thing. If you do the ringtone thing... its going to bother you a lot less... No problem with filing a report... keep in mind an unwanted text is not the same as a threatening text... and harassment is open to broad interpretation... 1,000 a day, certainly 5 or 10, it's a tough claim to make, no I'm not asking the contents... that's personal... just pointing out the counter argument that can be used. Getting all worked up and upset is only harming your health... learn to ignore him and brush it off... if threats are made... certainly report those every time... but take control of your own health. In the end that's whats most important.
    I did not take what you said as anything but your "opinion"... as far as fueling his fire that has not been a issue.. my whole point is I have not instigated any contact with this man weather it be threw phone or text... I stay clear of this man his threats I take very seriously.. but that maybe has a lot to do with being kicked out of a chair and then him stepping on my chest as he called me names.. as for needing his drama.. No I think not.. I was informed tonight by our sheriffs not to delete any of his texts (which I have not)... they also informed me that me telling him not to text me and to stop harassing me and him continuing is "harassment" not a very tough complaint to make or prove.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,277, Reputation: 5644
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    #12

    Apr 23, 2015, 02:16 AM
    Why do you contininously avoid the easy answer to this dilemma? Do you thrive on the drama? Block his number.

    Boom! Done! No more texts. No more phone calks.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,085, Reputation: 10852
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    #13

    Apr 23, 2015, 04:12 AM
    It may be a slow process but building a case against him for harassment is where this is going so just gather the evidence until you get him and let the law take it's course.

    Yes he is a bully, and you stand up to bullies.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
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    #14

    Apr 23, 2015, 06:21 AM
    Why have you not had police lay charges?

    Maybe a restraining order which includes no contact via any electronic means- i.e. text particularly.

    I don't know why you keep giving him the satisfaction of texting you. Can you explain that?

    You could also seek out a lawyer, for legal options to stop him.

    As to the texts, if the police are telling you not to delete them, and they are as bad as you say, I would be demanding they investigate and lay charges.

    But, I think you've probably answered a few back to him, in kind. Why else would you not be getting help to put a stop to it.
    Gettnunbuttheiz's Avatar
    Gettnunbuttheiz Posts: 38, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Apr 23, 2015, 08:17 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    It may be a slow process but building a case against him for harassment is where this is going so just gather the evidence until you get him and let the law take it's course.

    Yes he is a bully, and you stand up to bullies.
    The law is now doing just that.. a restraining order is in process..
    Gettnunbuttheiz's Avatar
    Gettnunbuttheiz Posts: 38, Reputation: 1
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    #16

    Apr 23, 2015, 08:24 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jake2008 View Post
    Why have you not had police lay charges?

    Maybe a restraining order which includes no contact via any electronic means- i.e. text particularly.

    I don't know why you keep giving him the satisfaction of texting you. Can you explain that?

    You could also seek out a lawyer, for legal options to stop him.

    As to the texts, if the police are telling you not to delete them, and they are as bad as you say, I would be demanding they investigate and lay charges.

    But, I think you've probably answered a few back to him, in kind. Why else would you not be getting help to put a stop to it.
    I don't think you have read the whole post because then you would have not asked why I am not doing anything to to stop this... or asked why police are doing nuthing

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