[jenhill73]

Me and my ex husband have been divorced for almost 10 years, my two boys have been living with him for the past 5 years. We have joint custody but they live with him. They live in Texas and I am in Kentucky. My ex does not want me to see the boys. I have tried going there to visit with them and he has not opened the door for me. I know this is considered contempt, but I don't have the money to afford an attorney to go to court to pursue this. Now my boys say they don't want me to see me, and their dad tells them that they don't have too. They are of age now to decide whether they want to. He has turned them against me. They have a step mom that they call mom and I am mother. They don't want to even talk to me on the phone or anything. I love my boys, but if they don't want to see me because of their dad. I am wondering about giving up my maternal rights and does the ex have to agree. He wants to keep raising my child support, but he is very wealthy. Texas does not take into account of both parents income only mine. I have a family to support here in Kentucky,and we are struggling to survive because of bills and everything. I can't keep paying support to a man that will not abide by the law. I know this makes me sound terrible, but I do love my boys, but if they don't want anything to do with me why should I keep getting hurt by their harsh words. Please someone give me advice on laws concerning this. Thanks

[1badchoice]

First off... YOUR the adult. Hurt feelings on your part are irrelevant. That's part of being a mom. The fact that you have another family does not take away the fact that you are still a mother to these boys. You can't pick which children to support/care for and which not to. (at least you shouldn't) As for terminating parental rights... my initial response is no but it sounds like you have really given up on these boys. Even though you cannot enforce visitation you are still their mother. No one can take that away. If you want to be their mother... call, write, keep trying to visit. Keep everything that is returned, record of calls. Your boys will one day come calling asking why. The biggest hurt to them will be your giving up on them. If you truly feel you cannot/do not want to keep trying then maybe it is best to give up rights... not because you can't pay child support. This is an extremely personal decision. Take it very seriously. Don't lay down and give up then blame your ex. He may be wrong to deny visitation (don't know the reasons) however your equally (if not more) responsible for not trying, giving up, shirking responsibilities. I know this sounds harsh but those kids are just that... KIDS. They cannot see the whole picture yet that's why they are not called adults. I truly hope you do the right thing... depending on what kind of mom you really are will tell you what choice that is... not your focus on YOUR feelings about all of this. Cathy