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    rushimw's Avatar
    rushimw Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Dec 25, 2014, 04:38 PM
    Respected Doctor,
    I am master student at some university in calfornia. Basically, I am from India and my dad is also a doctor. I have a general question. I am 24.
    I have a lot attraction towards. My all sexual history is normal. I don't have girlfriend, wish I could have one. Since I am here to study not to do this, I just reduce my sexual attraction or instinct for sometime since I can't get a girl to have it, all are engaged, don't have enough money to repeat it again n again. Whenever I study, I have to go and masturbate frequently, so many times that disturbs my concentration towards my work or studies.
    How should I keep control in my mental instinct towards sex? I hope you are getting what I mean.
    Please suggest me something that will keep my sex up but controlled.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,292, Reputation: 7691

    Dec 25, 2014, 07:35 PM
    It sounds more like a habit, or an addiction, not sure your thoughts, but in America people date without long term plans of marriage, so not sure about why you worried, a few people, who may be engaged. If you are study at a university, most will be single, dating and so on.

    How often is masturbating a lot once or twice a day? 10 times a day?
    rushimw's Avatar
    rushimw Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Dec 25, 2014, 07:37 PM
    6-7 times a day... Unfortunately...
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,292, Reputation: 7691

    Dec 25, 2014, 07:40 PM
    That is an obsession, you just stop, also, that often can effect your ability to have normal sex with women later, you will be so use, to your pressure, you use, that holding normal erection without that pressure may be hard, or not even possible.

    Set a goal, you do it,in evening,after lessons are finished, not before
    rushimw's Avatar
    rushimw Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Dec 25, 2014, 07:41 PM
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,991, Reputation: 10852

    Dec 26, 2014, 08:41 AM
    I have to agree, you have made self satisfaction an obsession. I think you have too much time on your hands (PUN), and need healthier outlets with friends, and activities as a diversion to studying so much. Balance your life better, to include people, and activities as well as school. Dating and girlfriends or the lack of it is but a normal course of action when interactions lead to attractions but I can understand how a lack of money limits you in this area.

    A part time job maybe for a few extra bucks? Many ways to do something besides school and masterbating, and being broke, if you give them some thought and consideration.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert

    Dec 26, 2014, 08:32 PM
    I have to disagree. You're 24, you're at the prime of life. Masturbating 6-7 times a day at your age, is normal for a man. Especially a man that's not gaining any release any other way.

    The only thing that's worrying about your post is that masturbating is distracting you from other things in your life. It shouldn't. If all you think about is masturbating, then you have a problem.

    My suggestion is to pick times of the day to masturbate. When you're in class, or studying, that's not a good time, and you know this. So pick the times where you're free to do whatever you want, and not concentrating on important things like school and studying.
    aspen73's Avatar
    aspen73 Posts: 13, Reputation: 2
    New Member

    Jan 1, 2015, 09:25 AM
    Like was mention briefly before, when you do masturbate, make sure to use different pressures, speed, change it up. Or it will be very hard to ejaculate with a woman when the time comes. Don't be hard on yourself, get out and meet people, your school should have lots of extracurricular activities available. Read, learn, be interesting and you will attract interesting people, and women. Good luck!
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert

    Jan 1, 2015, 09:56 AM
    It sounds to me that you want a woman, only for sex. If that is your goal, you won't nurture anything anywhere near a relationship. Sex for the sake of sex, means what to you?

    Is it really impossible for you to have some sort of social life where you could meet women, and have some kind of relationship that goes beyond just her being an object for you to release your sexual needs and desires?

    Surely there are social clubs, or friendships with other interns, or activities where you can meet women? They all can't be otherwise engaged as you say- all of them?

    Failing that for whatever excuse you have, why not just hire a professional prostitute if all you are after is sex. That way your needs are met, without having to play any games to imply that you are interested in a woman, when really all you want is to get laid.
    aspen73's Avatar
    aspen73 Posts: 13, Reputation: 2
    New Member

    Jan 1, 2015, 10:06 AM
    It is OK to be after just sex. Young people in college should not be seeking relationships in my opinion. They need the flexibility to explore, move, pursue their career. BUT, if you are only looking for sex, be honest about that with any woman you meet. I mean, don't be crass, but be clear if you are not looking for a relationship. And be clear that you are sexually inexperienced. Maybe find an older woman looking for a younger man. Looking for sex does not have to be about playing games, tricking women, etc. There are plenty of women just looking for sex. Just be completely honest and clear the entire time.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,991, Reputation: 10852

    Jan 1, 2015, 10:27 AM
    You will never find a mutually consenting adult who feels as you do unless you get out there and mingle with your fellow humans. Hell, you will never be able to develop and hone your social skills if you don't have the practice you get from being out and about.

    You probably have self pleasure down pat, so develop your other human skills too, so when you do reach your maturity as a person, you will be able cope with life and reality. You are 24, and these are the years for you to explore and experiment with your own potential, and not just self pleasure, that's only one facet of your humanity.

    A small one you have made huge that I think may be distracting you from more important endeavors.

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