[dog hat]

I found nowadays more and more people get divorced easily, why? Made me sad.

[UpComingMommy96]

There's No TRUST, No Communication, No Real Love.
It's All About Face-Book And Technology, And Money.
The Guys Aren't As Sweet As They Used To Be Like Holding Doors And Buying Flowers No More.
And Females Aren't All That Faithful And Worry About How Good They Look Other Than How To Please Their Husband And Being There For His Needs And Cooking For Him Or Being A Stay At Home Mom. It's Just Not Like That No More.

[CravenMorhead]

Ask ten different people and you'll get eleven different answers.

I have been divorced once and I have remarried. A great saying I heard a while back was, "It is easier in this day and age to throw something away than try to fix it." A lot of what I have seen is that people aren't quite sure how to treat relationships. They see and model after their parents but they don't get the entire picture. They get the friends, they get the intimate, but they don't get the deeper connection. They're honestly a lot like friends with benefits. They don't get the 'together' part of it, they still live and deal with their own independent lives.

There are a lot of reasons to be honest. It could be the less taboo nature of divorce now a days. It could be that people aren't willing to be under another's thumb anymore. Could be people realize that special point where they fall out of love with a person. It could also be the over romantization of relationships and who the "one" is and how it should all be. They keep this delusion until one day they realize what crap their current relationship is and divorce them.

It could also be that people get married after they've reached the best before date of the relationship. It is already on the down swing and they get married. A few years later and they're done.

It is the modern world to be honest. Just ain't what it used to be and thank goodness for that.

[smoothy]

#1 reason. People getting married long before they get to know the other... wrongly believing in love at first site.

[Fr_Chuck]

If you read most or a lot of the posts here, dating, deals with (as noted) Facebook issues, not feeling what the other wants,
Cheating, porn, sex issues,
Dating is often centered around sex, which is not as important after a 2nd or 3rd year of marriage and real life starts

As China gets more "western" divorce rates here are rising also, but I just went though a traditional dating experience.

No sex, (OMG) in fact no touching at all for about the first 4 dates, and any hugs were always in private, My wife (girlfriend then) were rebels, we actually hold hands in public (I know, going to hell)

But about the 3rd date, we bought our finical records and discussed earnings and debts.

We discussed living arrangements, if we were to share the same bedroom. ( it is also common here for man and wife, not to share the same bedroom)

We discussed husband (me) faithfulness, since many many men here are not faithful, depending on income levels, some have mistress or regular party girls they see. ** yes, you discuss what is accepted

We discussed money, who would pay what bills, if I was to give her a percent of my check each month, to pay household bills and so on.

So by the time, we had the actual wedding, most of the problems of life, were discussed, and behavior, like watching porn a few tines a week, is known,

Few couples do this, and really know, what the other is going to expect

[Chloe Edwards]

I would love to answer this question ! It happens because of miscommunication, blind faith, fake love, and not giving quality time. Nowadays, you'll see couples giving time to each other but not a quality time. Nowadays people date before knowing each other and then fall in love right after some dates and then after marriage miscommunication happens just because they did not spend time to know each other well.

[talaniman]

Lust fades, love grows. Lust is easy, love is hard work. If two people are no longer willing to work hard for each other, then love cannot grow.

[Den Mother 08]

I believe it is because vows aren't taken seriously. I do until... I get tired of you... your little quirks make me mad... one or both loose interest in sex (and I'm a strong believer this one is because there is so much premarital sex that by the time life starts happening after the honey moon, there is nothing there to bond you together) kids take time and energy and when problems arise people go running to their friends and talks about their spouse and put them down to a point where it adds more fuel to the fire, instead of coming together and saying divorce is not an option, how do we fix this?? My husband and I have been married 31 years 11 months and we have had many things that should have split us apart by today's standards, but we fixed it and moved on one day at a time, one problem at a time and leaned on each other for support! We dated 5 months then got married! They said we'd never make it and next week will be 32 years!! I do believe in love at first sight!!

[CravenMorhead]

I don't think premartial sex has ANYTHING to do with high divorce rates. If anything it has strengthened that part of the marriage. You deal with sexual incompatibility before you make a LEGAL statement that you're a couple. There are a lot of relationships that are perfect and fall apart because of sexual incompatibility. One partner may have a huge libido and the other barely anything, that will cause one to wander and betray the monogamy of the relationship.

In a relational scope sex is very much a misunderstood and not talked about player. It is taboo enough enough that you're embarrassed to communicate with your partner in a meaningful non-sexual way about it. Having a frank discussion on pegging with your spouse is probably something that rarely happens. Since this is such a primal and instinctual part of our being, being rebuffed or mocked because of a desire will change the very nature of the relationship. You can ask your partner to stop leaving the toilet seat up, but when your ask your partner to stop doing something sexual, i.e. you're just not into rimming, he'll internalize that and it could negatively affect the sexual relationship. This stuff should be worked out before you go in front of a judge and say yes.

A lot of relationships end, at least for me, when there is a lack of compromise and a lack of external vision. There has been, over the last few decades, a push for people to concentrate and deal only with themselves. What can they do and achieve while only improving themselves. I believe that my first marriage ended because my ex-wife wasn't able to see the world outside of her own set of desires and needs. It was all about her and her view of how the world should work. There wasn't a thought about us, just her and then me. When things started to go down hills and I was trying to get things back together, get her to compromise and look at us as a relational unit, it was too late and she was far to selfish to consider it.

I agree that jumping to divorce is too quick without the thought of how can I fix this. My wife and I have been through a patch or two but we find a way through. We look out for each other and it's all good. We met about 8 years ago. Started dating 3.5, married, 2.5, and have a 19 month old daughter and a son on the way.