[TheOldestSister]

Okay, my step sister just turned 12, and she talks to me about everything. (that I know of.) Anyway, She's been saying she wants to live here for several months now, and now she's serious. She says she stressed, and her mom and stepdad are constantly fighting. Her stepdad even cursed her out a few times saying that she can just leave for all he'd care, her stepdad is also abusive to her mom. She comes to me, asking how to talk to her Dad about this, and about moving in. I think she'll be better off here with us, but I have no clue on how to talk to a parent about moving in or out. I always told her that I'll support and help her! Now we both don't know what to do! Any advice would be loved.

[J_9]

How old are you?

[ScottGem]

So we need to get this relationship straight. For her to be your step sister means that one of your parents married one of her parents. If she is living with her mom and step dad, I'm not sure how she is your step sister.

But in any case, her non custodial parent will need to go to court to change custody.

[joypulv]

Aside from what all parents actually want, there are several considerations:
1. What their custody and financial arrangements are
2. What school systems you are each in at this time
3. What their work schedules can handle
4. How feasible it is to change schools in the middle of the year

If you don't plead and whine and stay calm, there's no reason why you can't at least bring up the subject when the parent is rested and not stressed out. (I might say "There is a lot of fighting in her home. Could you consider allowing her to live with us? I do understand that it isn't an easy answer.")

However, no matter how nicely and quietly you broach the subject, your parent might just say NO, end of discussion. Then you stop. Nothing you can do.

[TheOldestSister]

We're both homeschooled. And my Mom married her Dad... Her Dad has her once to three times a week, and they split holidays. Thanks for the Advice guys.

[ScottGem]

We're both homeschooled. And my Mom married her Dad... Her Dad has her once to three times a week, and they split holidays. Thanks for the Advice guys.

Ahh so he's your stepDad. Now it makes more sense. So Dad needs to file for a change in custody. Her mom is likely to fight it and he will need to prove its in her best interests. If abuse can be proven it will help. At 12 the court will listen to her, but not give much weight to what she wants.

[Fr_Chuck]

So, your dad will need to file in court for a legal change in custody, and prove it is to the child's best interest, or get the mother to agree.