[Anupama]

I am 21 yr old and m currently doing my mba, I come from a very conservative indian family, ever since my childhood my father has been abusing me and my elder sister, he even used to beat us... though it has reduced a lot now a days but abusing is still very much... he always feels that v don't respect him and don't listened to him... he wants me to be like a robot and do things the way he want to and at the very same moment he wants me to do it... the moment I delay it by even a second he starts shouting at me... n I have always seen him abusing my mom as well many a times... my mom is a self made women working in a school... a very independent lady... n the women I respect the most... but she somehow becomes helpless in front of my father... I always hated my father... he never appreciates me or has never been kind to me... all he is bothered is his ego... n feels that since he feeds for me I should listen to whatever he says... which I don't feel is right... help me out of this situation... its getting depressing day by day... I don't know what should I be doing to help my family... please giv me some suggession...

[JoeCanada76]

Is there anyway you can move out?

Culture is defiantly different. So myself coming from a different culture can only advise you of what I would or have done in my own situation. Which might not be the case for you.

As well as you being 21 I personally feel that you need to focus on yourself and your own happiness. You can not rescue the family or try to be a hero to your mom and your siblings because it will only cause more problems.

Have you ever talk to your mom about how you feel? What does she say or think about your father?

I know you want to help your family but your family need to get help on their own if they truly want it.

Most cases I would say counseling is very important together as a group and or individually. There are some people who would refuse counseling.

So since your mom is married to your father. It needs to be her own decision on what to do about him.

Just like you need to make your own decisions that are best for you to get out of it or stay out of that situation.

Joe

[Anupama]

Yes I too thought of moving out.. but it would be a shameful thing for my mom and dad as well.. though I don't care about my dad but I don't want to hurt my mom... I too tried talking to my mom about this... but she tell me that he his shorttemperd and nothing else... but I don't think so...