[KatyJ]

Hello,

One of my dear friends opened up to me that he is feeling depressed. I encourage him to vent or talk to me on what is bothering him but he does not want to talk. He said he needs to be left alone. I respected his wishes and did not pester him to open up. However, I told him that I will check up on him daily if he doesn't mind. He said OK. I really wanted to help him but I am not sure what to do? I don't want to be pest and drive him into deeper depression but I am really worried though.

Thank you!

[smoothy]

To be honest... you aren't a trained therapist... so you aren't going to be helping them yourself. Except by encouraging them to see someone who IS trained who can help

[odinn7]

If he doesn't want help, there isn't much you can do. You let him know that you are there for him if he needs something and wants to talk. Other than that, you can't force him to be not depressed.

[smoothy]

To be honest... you aren't a trained therapist... so you aren't going to be helping them yourself. Except by encouraging them to see someone who IS trained who can help. Depression is a very real condition, one that can be treated by professionals and would many times involve far more than just talking to them.

[joypulv]

The dilemma of depression is the wish to talk and the wish to be left alone. A lot of that wish to be alone is merely a wish to not drag other people down. One of the best 'peer therapies' is getting the depressed person into group activities where he doesn't have to be fun or interesting or even do anything. Even one other person and you and he (3 or 4 would be better). That way you can talk and have a good time and he can just mope, and hopefully time will help his depression - IF it's situational (unrequited love, a break up, failing courses, dog died, etc) and not organic or from deep problems in his past.
Tell him you really want him to go, and that he doesn't have to do ANYTHING; you'll all just prop him up in a corner. Be a little insistent, but give up after a minute or 2 if he really won't go, and say that you are going to ask again and again for future times. I predict that if there are no strings attached, he'll eventually go.
And tell the others that he's depressed and to just let him go along with you without trying to cheer him up. That's a big no-no because it puts a burden, a demand on him to try to oblige.

Depression is on a huge sliding scale. There's no need to just assume that every depressed person needs professional help only, and in fact what I suggest is what many therapists suggest.