[wisher0814]

Okay, me and my boyfriend were perfect. Neither of us were the jealous type, we could go out to the bars and have fun and laugh. Not only were we lovers we were best friends. We had fun doing just about anything and nothing. Everyone envied our relationship. Then about 2 months ago, I started having crazy mood swings and I got really tired and lazy, we started to fight. I lost my job. We ended up breaking up about 2 weeks ago. He said that I changed and I was lazy and was crazy with my mood swings, I didn't know what he was talking about... until now. Its turns out that I was pregnant. I was on the pill and had no signs of being pregnant, it wasn't until I missed my first period at 3 months that I found out, he was there for me, but I ended up having a miscarriage, probably because I took the pill for 3 months and was out drinking not knowing. So now were friends and were with each other a lot. Everything is back to normal, were lovey-dovey and cuddly, but we don't really kiss, its more emotional and mental than physical. He tells me all the time he loves having his baby back to normal, but were still not back together. I hate knowing that he could be going out with other girls and I can't say anything. I just want to be us again and I don't know how to approach him. I just want him back. I miss being his girlfriend and I know that he loves me still and probably is in love with me still. Please help!!

[BattleAngel14745]

My advice to you is...
Talk with him and tell him exactly how you feel. That you still have feelings for him more so then just friends. Personally, I would think twice about wanting to be with some one that is quick to throw every thing away just because things start to get tough.

[Wildcat21]

FRIENDS is the most IMPORTANT thing in a relationship!! That's great - you must be FRIENDS!! Friends first. You are doing fine - keep it up!! The rest will happen.

Check out this sit and READ all the articles. There are ways to fall in love again IF you want it.

www.lovetactics.com

[chestnut]

Firstly sweetie, I want to say I am sorry about your miscarriage! :(

Having said that, I am very surprised about something that hear women say way too often! I mean this is the 21st century, we have known about the pill and our menstrual cycle for decades now... How can you NOT notice that you haven't had your menstrual cycle after... 3 to 4 weeks or at the most 6?

I am not trying to give you a hard time, but I am a woman myself and I don't think it would take me 3 months to realize something wasn't right!

As for the "more than a friend but less than a girlfriend" situation you find yourself in with your ex? I have been there. Believe me. If you want him back sweetie, make yourself a little less available. Men, for some obscure reason, like to chase. I am not talking about playing games, but just move on with your life. You have two choices: You can sit there driving yourself crazy trying to figure out whether he is going out with other women, or you can just do your thing, maybe even keep your daily appointments a little mysterious and keep him guessing and then if you feel that you "have" him:

Schedule a great date with him, look stunning and go to a great restaurant. Let him pay of course. Be a little distant and elusive and tell him how things in your life are totally improving and how you haven't been this happy in a long time (don't just tell him that though... Be that!) and then, with a lovely and sort of carefree smile just say something in the lines of:" So? What about us? Are we going somewhere or not? Should I give this more time and energy or is it just a playful relationship until we meet other people?"

Trust me! He will be taken aback completely and will HAVE to answer you. Now you are a big girl. Depending on his answer, that is when you need to decide whether this man is worth your time or not.
The bottom line pumpkin is that, as much as it hurts and believe me I have been there, you cannot change someone unless they want to change. Now there are ways of helping that along, but ultimately they have to want it for themselves.

Plus, one sad observation I have made over the years, is that men usually tire of women who are "needy" (and I am not saying you are) or whom they perceive to be as needy or who are too readily available.

If you do move on with your life and find other things to do and meet more people and what have you, in the event he says "thanks but not thanks" it will hurt a lot, but you will have a strong safety net to hold you as opposed to before perhaps.

By the way, not to put your hopes up but I was in a similar situation as you, even worse actually and there was literally an ocean between us... I did my little date thing. Showed up there after not seeing him for months, and after sharing with him my new life, and towards desert, planting the question right there and there... I couldn't get rid of him afterwards.

So you see? It worked. Just be your own woman. If the man has an ounce of IQ, he will go for you, if not? Then he is a user and in that case, you better be the one who walks out on him at dinner telling him he is a great guy but your life is far too busy for meaningless flings give a kiss on the cheek and leave him planted there with his desert, as you give him a big grin and wish him the best.

I wish you luck pumpkin!

Let me know...

:)

Chestnut

[Wildcat21]

Chestnut - OUTSTANDING advice!! Bravo!

Needy never works in a relationship. Men can do it as well.