[sweetpie88]

My ex boyfriend contacted me and Facebook and we talked. I have not seen him in 2 years. We both are unsure if we want to be together. I sort of miss him and I met up with him and we had a great time. I have mixed feelings about this and we thought to take things slow to decide if this can work.

[Homegirl 50]

Why did you break up and have those issues been resolved? Ex is an ex for reason.
How old are you two?

[sweetpie88]

I was 23 and he was 24 or 25. He broke up with me because he admitted that he started to have strong feelings for me and that he didn't know if I felt the same about him. Also because I was a virgin so he was scared that he admitted that he cheated. Time will tell if he has changed it appears that he has but I am not sure.

[smoothy]

I believe its always a bad idea to waste time rehashing what didn't work before.

If it was right with him before there wouldn't have been a breakup... Ive never seen a case where someone did this that it worked in the long term... which means it was time wasted when you could be looking for someone it would work with.

[Homegirl 50]

I'd leave it be. Don't let old feelings lure you back to the same bad place. He could be between girl friends, wondering if you're still a virgin. He did cheat on you didn't he? Sometimes it's best to leave the past in the past.

[Jake2008]

You are now 25, and he's around 27 or so. Maturity has probably set in a bit, for both of you.

If you decide to go forward with him, your arrangement of going slow, is the way to go.

Learn all you can about the past two years that you have not seen each other. Really listen to what he says. When he talks about relationships after you, see if he seems to have gone through a lot of women in the past two years. He may blame them for breakups, or admit things like the last girlfriend he had, did nothing but argue, find fault with him, broke up a bunch of times, etc.

If he has not matured in any other relationship he has had, it isn't likely he is mature enough to start another one with you.

Then again, he may have learned a great deal about himself, and the mistakes he's made, and he could be very honest about it. But, if he's not showing remorse, or insight to mistakes along the way (that we all make), he is likely in the same emotional place he was with you before.

Which would be not much improvement, and then you'd have your answer.

Be subtle about it, and learn all you can about him. Him wanting a relationship with you is only the title of the book. See what type of book it's going to be with you, starting with the chapters on who this man really is, where he's been, how he lives his life.

Guessing whether this relationship will work again, is putting too much faith in a man you already knew.

[anushkapatel]

I think you both are now mature enough to take decisions. He contacted you which means he misses you and you also admit that you miss him. Now that you both are in contact with each other just take it easy. You all can chat and send messages to each other and talk about all the good things that you all did when you were in a relationship and then check whether you were really happy with him. As you become good friends again just question yourself and also him what actually went wrong between the 2 of you.
I agree he cheated, there are partners who cheat but then everybody is not perfect and he confessed it to you, that was good. It shows that he is honest.
Once you become good friends again, plan to meet. Check the way he is behaving. He should be decent and make you feel comfortable. Obviously you should do the same. Let things go slowly and easily. Remember if you need to take extra efforts then you should but not at the cost of losing your self respect.
And yes, let him know the things which you liked about him in the past and which you didn't like about him and ask him the same because if you both have a future together you all will know as you will be together after a long break.
And if you are not comfortable with him tell him clearly and move on and get a life.

[sweetpie88]

Sorry for the late reply thank you so much for the answers!