[misscat192]

Hi there:
I am a woman with no past criminal history. I have had custody of my nephew for about 7 years. The parents have never went through any proper channels to my son. They now have contacted a mediator who informs me that I need to follow this very loosely written order in the change of custody agreement that states "change of custody to myself and my husband with supervised visitation to the parents" but didn't state when or how often. I do not want to follow these orders because these parents get picked up for drugs every few months and will try to pump my son's head full of nonsense. My son does not wish to visit them. He really doesn't even want people to know we are not his real parents. They are somewhat of an embarrassment to him. My question is, what if I don't follow these orders and the court finds me in contempt? In the state of Ohio what is the likeliness of me going to jail? He will be 12 soon and I believe can decide if he would like to be adopted by us, so I am trying to prolong these actions until then. On one hand I don't want to look like I am not doing my part with the court but on the other hand, I really don't care if they think I am a criminal. His birth parents commit every crime imaginable and get arrested for prostitution, drugs, and domestic violence and they never give them jail time, so I feel like the court won't think so badly of me! Would really like your opinion. Oh one more note. The mother was also ordered to pay child support and HAS NEVER PAID ONE DIME! But just recently filed some claim where she is indigent and can't pay because she is trying to get her ssi which means she is unable to work and pay child support! So again, nothing is done about this!

[Fr_Chuck]

You are mistaken on many levels...

First at 12, he can not decide anything, he as you, has to merely follow court orders.

Where were you, when the court orders were done, you would have been served and had a chance to challenge the court

So you hire an attorney and ask for a modification to give more exact times and places.. And who is to supervise.

And loss of custody of the child is more likely, than jail.

[misscat192]

We were not "served". Merely, just given custody after they did not complete treatment programs. Later on I received the paper in the mail showing the filing. Because it was so vague, our case worker, made it sound like it was no big deal, and that it was at our discrection and if the parents were not getting themselves together we could deny them visitation. At the time I don't believe she thought it much of an issue because the parents were not pursuing visitation through any avenues. So now, a mediator from the court has sent over specific orders such as that the parents have their supervised visitation at a Safe House where there is a shadow person and twice a month.

And I understood that yes we would have course still have to go through the adoption process and obtain an attorney like other adoptions but I read in the state of Ohio that at the age of 12 a child can say whether he agrees to be adopted verses his birth parents having to agree. Because obviously in this case, the parents will not.

[AK lawyer]

You indicate that the court ordered supervised visitation. The whole purpose if supervised visitation is so that you can control things. If, during the visitation, you believe that they are acting strangely, you can terminate it.

But if the parents ask for supervised visitation you should comply. I have often seen such visitations scheduled at a public place; so consider going that route.

If you flatly refuse, yes, you will be held in contempt and perhaps jailed until you agree to comply. When a court orders something and you thumb you nose at the court, the judge has few choices left but contempt.

We were not "served". Merely, just given custody after they did not complete treatment programs.....

This is strange. If you were indeed given custody, you would probably have been at the hearing. I'm thinking that custody was given to agency, who delegated their custody to you. If this is the case, the court doesn't have personal jurisdiction over you, you are not subject to the visitation order, and you are under no obligation to honor the parent's visitation request.

[ScottGem]

First, I'm curious as to where you find this about his being able to choose adoption when he reaches 12. While, I'm sure his preference would be listened to by the court, I doubt if he has the ability to choose, especially not at 12.

Second, I'm also curious about the process here. Do these court papers you received specifically award custody to you by the court? If so, then I think you are bound by them.

Third, you state, that the mediator FROM THE COURT has ordered supervised visits. Did they specify what Safe House? But this does appear to be ordered by the court. Which means you have to comply.

If the court did issue such an order, through the mediator, then the parents have been through some level of evaluation. I doubt if the visitation would have been ordered otherwise. It sounds like you haven't had much contact with the parents for awhile, so they may have finally cleaned up their act to some extent.

[Fr_Chuck]

You cam not just be "given" children. If there is no court order, giving you custody or guardianship of the cihildren, then the parents may have actual legal custody, There had to be hearings and court orders, for you to have custody