[Rashe]

I am pretty confused about my friends reply to my email. I asked him to send comments and help me improve my presentation that I need to present at school. I am copying the correspondence below.

My email to Sham (my friend) -
” I have attached my Presentation. Could you go through it and send me your comments on how to improve it further. Thanks in advance for the help.”

Sham’s reply –
“Rashe, I will look at it soon.
Send it to Seema too. She is very good at editing and presenting
stuff like this and will give a different perspective. But you have to
ask her :)”

Ok, Seema is Sham’s wife.

What did he mean by “But you have to ask her :)”
Does it mean that I was not polite enough in my email (while asking for Sham’s help) and that first I should have asked whether he’ll be able to help me or not and then ask for his comments ?
What do you think guys ?

[Lowtax4eva]

I think he's just trying to say it would be better if you asked her separately rather than assume he will show her the presentation and ask her to look at it and give an opinion

But you could have worded the original email better like "would you mind taking a look and giving your comments when you have a moment" something like that.

[Rashe]

Thank you for your feedback. I appreciate it!

[Rashe]

Does anybody else have a different view than Lowtax4eva ?

[RubyPitbull]

Rashe, he is telling you that he feels she will be an asset to you if you ask her for help. He actually was doing you a favor by suggesting his wife is better at this stuff than he is. But, he is not going to assume that you want her to look at it, and will not be so pushy as to insist that she does. She will not just assume that you want advice from her, if you haven't asked yourself. It is rude to give advice when it is not asked for, and even ruder to assume your spouse will have the time to help your friend out. They sound like nice people who have a healthy respect for each other and their relationship. I think you may be taking this a little too personally. You are creating an issue when there really isn't one here.

Just send her an email and tell her you value her opinion, advice, and would appreciate any assistance she is willing to give to make your presentation flow correctly.

Honey, stop over analyzing. In doing so, you create problems that could lose you a friend in the process.

[lacuran8626]

I can't find anything offensive or worth a second thought in either your original email or the reply. I think your friend would preffer that you deal direct in having his wife review the presentation. Perhaps she has an issue with people going through her husband to ask her opinion - from the names used in your example I wonder if she might be sensitive about some cultural norms about the wife's role, and as an apparently educated woman she may be particularly sensitive about her husband being involved in these things.

Or, he may just not want to use up his own requests for favors with his wife, so figures if he stays out of it she won't view helping you as a favor to him?

Just email her separately and forget about it. He clearly thinks enough to give you his feedback and to want to help you additionally by suggesting another person to help you...

Good luck with your presentation!