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slpowe00 · Jun 27, 2014, 08:31 AM

I have a son that will be 20 in August. He isn't working, but when he does find a job he gets lazy and doesn't go to work, so he gets fired. He has had one interview in the last month but tells me he is looking for a job. He verbally abuses me and makes horrible messes and will not clean up after himself. He does no chores to help me out at home even if I beg him to help me. I'm a 50 year old single mother that works a fulltime job and pays all of the bills myself. I need to know how I can legally kick him out of my house so he is forced to find a job. He has friends that will put up with him for a while, but then he comes home when they start complaining. Please help.

smoothy · Jun 27, 2014, 08:43 AM

Adult children are treated no different than any tenant would be... you give him his 30 day notice in writing of his eviction... or better have him served. In 30 days if he has not left you file in court to have the eviction enforced... meaning the sherrifs put him and his stuff at the curb at which time you change the locks.

Its your house...not his. the day he turned 18 he has been there on your good graces...which apparently he doesn't appreciate.

DoulaLC · Jun 27, 2014, 08:51 AM

Have you first tried the route of sitting down and talking to him about it... (no begging... just matter of fact, this is how it is going to need to be from now on). See if he will come to an agreement with you about helping to pay bills, or at the very least earn his keep by helping around the house and changing how he speaks to you.

If it's a no go... give him notice that he will have to find his own place after a period of time. For example... "I love you, but I have decided that this arrangement just isn't working for me, and it doesn't really help you to take responsibility as the adult that you are, so since you are an adult, it's time for you to find a place of your own and learn to stand on your own two feet. You can have 2 months to get and keep a job, and make other living arrangements".

If he goes to his friends, and they start complaining again, tell him that you are sorry to hear that, that maybe he should consider what their complaints are about, and tell him that you hope he finds a place to live soon. You could even offer to help him look for a place if you were so inclined. Keep it all matter of fact, not open for discussion.

As smoothy said, you will always have the legal route, but I know not all parents want to have to go that direction unless they have tried every other avenue.

AK lawyer · Jun 27, 2014, 09:01 AM

Originally Posted by smoothy

Adult children are treated no different than any tenant would be... you give him his 30 day notice in writing of his eviction... or better have him served. In 30 days if he has not left you file in court to have the eviction enforced... meaning the sherrifs put him and his stuff at the curb at which time you change the locks.

OP wrote that the son stays with friends and then comes back. If this is so, I don't believe he would be considered to be, at present, a "tenant". In that case, OP can change the locks the next time the son goes to stay with friends. No notice to quit or eviction action would be necessary.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 27, 2014, 09:06 AM

This is part of the trouble, when he is gone. She lets him come back. An eviction just gets him out. ( seems he leaves on his own at times)

You ask him to go live with friends, after he is moved out, change the locks and do not let him move back in.

smoothy · Jun 27, 2014, 09:06 AM

Good observation... and something for her to consider (new locks) the next time he goes to stay with them.